To find your perfect partner you need to assess qualities about yourself:
Are you more of an extroverted or introverted person? Are you shy or outgoing? Do you have certain goals or do you just want to trail ride? Do you want an easy going horse or do you want something with a little more "life?" What is your patience level? Do you get frustrated easily?
Then, once you answer those questions, you can then go and find a horse that is compatable with your personality. So say you are more of an introverted person who is laid back and just wants to trail ride. You would want to look for a horse who is very steady, quiet, reliable, etc. But if you want jump, depending on your personality, you may want a horse who has more motivation. See how that works? That way you don't go out and buy a "sports car" when really you might need a "station wagon."
Bonding with the horse is very important. A great way to do it is to spend undemanding time with your horse. Take him out to graze, go for walks with him, sit in his stall with him and hang out. Also make your "work" time with him enjoyable. Don't drill things, don't make it work work work. The horse has to have fun, too. Look at things from his perspective.
One way you can show a horse you love them is to offer them the leadership he needs. This can come in two forms....1) asking for obedience, setting boundaries and challenging the horse mentally. But this has to be done in a matter that the horse will, one, respect, and two, trust. And 2) by showing the horse you understand he is afraid of things and not forcing him toward it...by backing off and reapproching when needed, and slowing down and softening when he needs you to.