Bonding - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 33 Old 01-28-2009, 04:24 PM Thread Starter
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Bonding

I'm looking for a new horse. I was wondering how did you know your horse was the one?


Also how can i create a bond with a horse?
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post #2 of 33 Old 01-28-2009, 04:40 PM
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I knew Thunder was the one because I couldn't stop thinkin about him when I came across his ad. The first time I saw him was the day I went to pick him up. It was the best decision I made. I couldn't stop staring at his picture :).

There are so many things you can do to bond with a horse. Grooming is a big one, just sitting in their turnout watching them, round penning, more grooming lol. There's tons of things!
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post #3 of 33 Old 01-28-2009, 04:43 PM Thread Starter
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i'm going to look at the horse this weekend! Do you think i should keep looking, to make sure he is the one, or go out on a ledge and get him without looking at others....
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post #4 of 33 Old 01-28-2009, 04:50 PM
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I think T knew she would be mine before I did. I was working with her at the barn for the BO, getting her ready to be sold. Prior to that I had been riding her for a couple years.

Well when the potential buyers came and I put her through her paces she looked great. Then one of the buyers got on and rode her. She threw her head, hollowed out, I went in the barn, couldn't bear to watch.

After they left, the BO's daughter came to get me to bring in the horse. She told me T was sold. That was when I knew I wanted her for me.
Well, unbeknownst to me, the BO didn't sell her to the buyers, she
decided to hold her for me (my husband was out of work and going to school at the time, no money for a horse) until I could buy her.

She said after watching us together, and then seeing her with the buyers, it was painfully obvious the horse was meant to be mine.

Still touches my heart when I think about it.
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post #5 of 33 Old 01-28-2009, 05:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nolahcontend View Post
i'm going to look at the horse this weekend! Do you think i should keep looking, to make sure he is the one, or go out on a ledge and get him without looking at others....

Make a list of what you absolutely must have in a horse, example good feet ect.. and a list of what you'd like to have but is not a deal breaker, example color. Know what you are looking for before you go and stay steady on that. Too easy to let our hearts take over our heads.

By all means keep and open mind that you will probably be looking at a few horses. If this horse meets your needs and has the potential for whatever future plans , great, if not don't get discouraged.

Good luck.
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post #6 of 33 Old 01-28-2009, 05:07 PM
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Have you shopped around at all? Browsed other horses ads and stuff? for me it was just a gut feeling. I can't explain it. However, there are much smarter ways to go about picking a horse, but I just knew.
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post #7 of 33 Old 01-29-2009, 10:13 AM
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Bonding with a horse is really not a matter of the touchy-feely stuff. Horses don't think like that. To really bond with a horse - on the horse's terms - you have to think more like a horse than a human. So bonding with horses means that you have to become their herd leader. Out in the pasture, the herd leader does not spend time grooming the other horses, nor does the herd leader just stay quietly in one spot watching the other horses. A horse that is leader of the herd will demand that the other horses let him eat when he wants, let him drink when he wants, let him sleep when he wants, and the herd better follow him when it's time to move on to a new location (safety in numbers).

In order to really bond with a horse, you need to have a good understanding of herd dynamics and you need to be able to portray yourself as the herd leader to your horse. Even just one person and one horse make a herd. And a horse can be a part of two different herds, and his place in each herd can be different. A horse has only two choices - to lead or to follow. You can make it so that when you are handling the horse that he only has one choice, and that is to follow. When you get to that point, then you have truly bonded with your horse.

You can get more information at this website: Marv Walker

What is really impressive about learning herd dynamics is that it works with every horse, so in reality any horse can be "the one" for you if you know how to use herd dynamics to your advantage.

http://www.cedarviewpainthorses.blogspot.com

Home of:
Perfect Jin N Scotch - 2004 APHA Palomino Overo Gelding - Western Pleasure and Showmanship

Hanks Rainy Sky - 1998 Black and White Tobiano Paint Gelding - relaxing rides and blazing trails
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post #8 of 33 Old 01-29-2009, 02:00 PM
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That was an excellent post, GottaRide. I have worked extensively with our horses, and while 2 of them are owned by other family members, I am still 'alpha' pretty much.

I am well bonded with the grey mare, (whom I have recently relinquished to my hubby) but it came with alot of time spent with her, some with direct training, but alot of time spent grooming and taking out for our long walks (to get her used to scary gremlins on the sides of the road before I ever need get on her back). But I don't get affectionate with a horse until my 'alphadom' is well established and not challenged, and then my affection isn't seen as a submission (which it can be seen that way by the horse in the early stages). I am not very affectionate with my stud colt, for instance, cuz he still is learning 'the rules' and still challenges. But he is getting better and better, and soon we will be able to be more affectionate. It seems if I let it reach that phase too early, I am constantly having to re-establish the alpha thing.



But as far as which one I picked, of the ones I have now, it is hard to say. I tend to like them laid back, but I go with whatever one I keep finding myself come back to. When we got the grey mare, I was there to see a well broke andulasian, and wound up buying an untouched warmblood filly. Go figger.

Know thyself, know thy horse.
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post #9 of 33 Old 01-29-2009, 06:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkChylde View Post
That was an excellent post, GottaRide. I have worked extensively with our horses, and while 2 of them are owned by other family members, I am still 'alpha' pretty much.

I am well bonded with the grey mare, (whom I have recently relinquished to my hubby) but it came with alot of time spent with her, some with direct training, but alot of time spent grooming and taking out for our long walks (to get her used to scary gremlins on the sides of the road before I ever need get on her back). But I don't get affectionate with a horse until my 'alphadom' is well established and not challenged, and then my affection isn't seen as a submission (which it can be seen that way by the horse in the early stages). I am not very affectionate with my stud colt, for instance, cuz he still is learning 'the rules' and still challenges. But he is getting better and better, and soon we will be able to be more affectionate. It seems if I let it reach that phase too early, I am constantly having to re-establish the alpha thing.
You bring up a very good point regarding the affection displayed towards a horse that too many people fail to understand. Horses see our human affection towards them as submissiveness in horse language. It is so important to establish yourself as leader first, then show affection.

http://www.cedarviewpainthorses.blogspot.com

Home of:
Perfect Jin N Scotch - 2004 APHA Palomino Overo Gelding - Western Pleasure and Showmanship

Hanks Rainy Sky - 1998 Black and White Tobiano Paint Gelding - relaxing rides and blazing trails
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post #10 of 33 Old 01-30-2009, 02:19 PM
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To find your perfect partner you need to assess qualities about yourself:
Are you more of an extroverted or introverted person? Are you shy or outgoing? Do you have certain goals or do you just want to trail ride? Do you want an easy going horse or do you want something with a little more "life?" What is your patience level? Do you get frustrated easily?

Then, once you answer those questions, you can then go and find a horse that is compatable with your personality. So say you are more of an introverted person who is laid back and just wants to trail ride. You would want to look for a horse who is very steady, quiet, reliable, etc. But if you want jump, depending on your personality, you may want a horse who has more motivation. See how that works? That way you don't go out and buy a "sports car" when really you might need a "station wagon."

Bonding with the horse is very important. A great way to do it is to spend undemanding time with your horse. Take him out to graze, go for walks with him, sit in his stall with him and hang out. Also make your "work" time with him enjoyable. Don't drill things, don't make it work work work. The horse has to have fun, too. Look at things from his perspective.

One way you can show a horse you love them is to offer them the leadership he needs. This can come in two forms....1) asking for obedience, setting boundaries and challenging the horse mentally. But this has to be done in a matter that the horse will, one, respect, and two, trust. And 2) by showing the horse you understand he is afraid of things and not forcing him toward it...by backing off and reapproching when needed, and slowing down and softening when he needs you to.
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