Wow, you folks are the best! Thanks for your replies, some of you are really funny!
I never even gave this "following vs/chasing thing" much thought before the comment was made by the fellow boarder (yep they alllllll have their opinions, don't they? Especially the ones who have never ever schooled a green horse)
I haven't watched the videos you mention, Doe, so I wasn't trying to copy anything like that. I had to narrow down my training "mentors" since there seem to be about a million out there, so for starters I have been using the methods of Sylvia Scott (NH) and John Richard Young (old school horse trainer, books are The Schooling of the Horse and Schooling for Young Riders, the latter is probably the reason I have a grey Welsh Pony haha) --
Anyway I read your post carefully and I'll be more aware of any show of dominance at all, I'll continue our schooling, and I will probably have my daughter hold a crop or lead rope from now on. It's something to think about. Either my daughter or I are always controlling the pony's actions, not the other way around. I don't have nearly the experience you do, and this is the first time I've trained a horse using any NH but there's absolutely nothing I can do about that except to keep on working at it.
The pony's manners are imperfect. She isn't "finished" I've only had her for 8 weeks and for 2 wks of that I've been on vacation. She has made HUGE progress in her manners and training and knows the word and gesture for "Stop!" at liberty or being led. From reading all of your posts, I just really don't think it's "chasing." I finally have her politely following me when I lead her with a slack lead rope, and stopping too, and that's not chasing, right?
I don't wish to stop the occasional playing in the arena. We all enjoy it, and besides, she is now totally relaxed and comfortable with jumping so I figure I have a head start when it comes time to train her to jump under saddle. (Want her to do some low- level hunter shows just for fun)
I'll take a video in the next couple days.