How can i bond with my new horse - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 14 Old 04-02-2012, 02:01 AM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 17
• Horses: 2
Well, I have very different ideas about respect... I think respect is a human idea, not a horse idea. Horses value the herd mate that is the older, wiser, been there done that type personality. The strong and silent type, the come-along, let me show you what's what.... Before horses can know how much we can help them, the need to know first that we won't hurt them. Be patient, kind, gentle, cause your horse to feel that they can be safe with you. If they are behaving in a way that is pushy, or aggressive- in the beginning, simply walk away- over time, they will want you to stay with them and they will change their behavior. When they decide that they want to be with you, that you are not threatening, a lot of that pushy behavior will melt away. Then, you can begin to teach them the behaviors that you want from them, safe behaviors, smart behaviors And they will lap it up because they know what you want, it feels good to give it to you, and this builds their confidence. I "spoil" my horses with massive attention and positive reinforcement- I don't correct "disrespectful" behaviors, I simply teach them what I want from them. And I have to tell you- my horses are easy to manage, they respond instantly to my suggestions, they are super safe and they do their work joyfully!

Now regarding bonding- the horses that bond with each other in the herd spend time together... eating, playing, dozing in the sun.... if the herd is large enough that herd mates truly can choose who they want to be with... they will not choose a horse that is very aggressive towards them. They will choose a herd mate that they have mostly harmony with. Hang out with your horse, spend time with your horse- and make all your training... just an extension of your hanging out time.
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post #12 of 14 Old 04-08-2012, 08:21 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Broken Hill, NSW, Australia
Posts: 65
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I agree with Leslie and with others who suggest spending time with your horse just 'being there'. Perhaps different things work for different people and horses. I was very new to horses when I met my gelding and initially I was friends with him and we got on great, then I bought him and began to listen to all the people who said 'you have to be boss, you have to have respect'. I should have noticed that he got on better with me as we were than he did with all the people who were telling me how I should be. So I followed their advice and our relationship began to disintegrate, until it got to the point I began being scared of him. Fortunately I then discovered friendship Training, which is all about being friends, developing the relationship, etc, and things have turned around amazingly.

I am beginning to wonder if with horses we get what we expect - ie, if we think we can't have a close relationship with horses and they can't love, we don't get that, but if we think it is possible to have that sort of a relationship with a horse all sorts of amazing possibilities open up. My boy has begin to do some surprising things, including coming away from a horse he was galloping with when they were both anxious to come and stand with me.
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post #13 of 14 Old 04-10-2012, 02:42 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Nebo, West Wales, United Kingdom
Posts: 9
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Francesb -= don't know if this helps but I think Parelli's comment about LOVE, LANGUAGE & LEADERSHIP is very relavent. Safety (Yours and the horses's) is obviously of paramount importance - so you do need the horse to respect your space (you dont want half a ton of horse walking all over you or barging you) but once you have ascertained that, your horse will really appreciate you just hanging out with him. Sit in his paddock (if its safe) or next to it, take him out for walks (moving from grazing spot to grazing spot - but you chose the spot), learn to communicate (you to hm how to understand him).

It takes time to build a tru bond but when you have it, it is the best feeling in the world - for both of you.

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post #14 of 14 Old 04-24-2012, 10:29 AM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Cooksburgh, PA
Posts: 761
• Horses: 1
They first need to learn to trust you completely. Then they will love you. My horse comes to me in a 10 acre field when she hears my car come. She much prefers me to the other horses. They run up too saying take me, take me!

I think she thinks in her head when I only let her in the barn "That's my friend, not yours! Ha, ha, nanny, nanny, boo, hoo."

Last edited by Spirit Lifter; 04-24-2012 at 10:32 AM.
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