How to grow a much better bond with my horse?

You came on the forum and asked how to improve your bond. Nobody came looking for you to give unsolicited advice.

When you go on a public board and ask for advice, you're going to get some you may not want to hear. If you don't want to hear it, then stop asking. Plain and simple.

Since you apparently have it all figured out, I'm not sure why you even bothered to ask other people their opinions.

Oh, and throwing a tantrum and telling everyone how much BETTER you treat your animals than the rest of us do, certainly doesn't make you look mature or even rational.

That was not how it was meant to comeacross. I got a pm about not treating her like a dog..BLahblah....Anyhow I have respected all the comments and help that people have gave me when I haveasked. But something really hit the wrong way... If I offended you sorry.. Wasn't meant for you.

Are you by chance referring to the PM YOU sent me?

I don't think you'll like my response. The horses that I have had the BEST relationships with were the ones that I worked the hardest. I believe that horses and dogs and even cats need jobs in order to stay sane as domestic animals.
Horses are also social animals and they crave leadership and security. WHATEVER you do with you horse, even hand grazing, should be done with YOU in charge. You decide when this happens, you decide where he grazes, you decide when it's done. I like to praise my horses whenEVER they do something right, to reinstill in them that I am a safe leader.
When I work them I have an individual plan in mind with different exercises. I watch to see their reactions. Sometimes I double up on the workout, sometimes we accomplish what I'm looking for, and we quit. Sometimes, I get what I'm looking for and my horse gets to stand after untacking for a couple of hours while I do yardwork--it all depends on what the horse needs. Last Sunday, my 5 yo QH had a very good workout, and when I finished untacking him, and let the other two loose to graze HE stood and his tie-up spot UNTIED with a foot cocked. His halter was still on, and I had to pull him away before he started grazing there. THAT really told me a lot about trusting THIS horse.
I am lucky to have my horses living in my back yard and I feed EVERYBODY--horses, dogs, cats, chickens. They get grain every evening and they all watch for me bc it isn't given like clockwork, just ~6PM, sometimes as late as 9PM. Yesterday I was home and I opened up the fenced in area in front of the barn and let my 3 horses mow it down. Each took time to come over and snort and thank me. (We've had a drought and their pastures are REALLY low right now.) Maybe you just need to be the one in charge, instead of your trainer. =D

By bonding I hope you aren't wanting your horse to have the same behaviour as a dog because it won't happen. Your horse won't love you, he tolerates humans yet often find it's ok to be with them. When you take him for walks if his nose dives for the grass pop him on the top of the rump with a riding crop. Be sure to give him about 6' of lead because he may scoot forward. Teach him that he is allowed to graze when your hand held low invites him to. After you have popped him a few times he'll be watching for your crop to move toward his rump and move. You won't even have to touch him with it.

MIS, I have been retraining badly soured, confused horses for many years. Giving treats is part of my arsenal. When I am working with a horse he doesn't get to graze so when we"ve made even a tiny bit of headway he will get a treat, a piece of alfalfa cube. It is a great motivator. I give the horse a say and I've stood and watched a horse try to figure something out so he can get his treat. It's his choice and the result creates a little more trust. My sessions last maybe 20 min so it's not like he's been greatly deprived of food in order to be responsive. If the horse choses to leave, the gates to the paddock are open and he's allowed to leave and go back to grazing. Funny thing is, they usually stay.

Hey, ladies, hey. Take it easy. Bonding can be a sensitive and personal issue
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An adept writer can write a book about the theories of bonding as they might be applied by a rider to his/her horse but in practice the reader might be of a very different mindset to that of the author. Horses certainly come along with varying temperaments and each horse calls for a different approach.
As an example, personally I don’t look for utter obedience from my horse, as I like to leave the animal with room to obey my wishes yet with the freedom to keep us both safe. A trusted steed has covered for my mistakes on many an occasion.

When riding I ask my mare to turn left, by a slight hesitation and a nudge in the flanks; I don’t yank it in the mouth and kick it in the ribs. She knows which way to go.
I ask her to ‘whoah and stop’ by steadying my hand and leaning back a touch; I don’t haul back on the reins. I constantly try to keep the commands subtle and light.
When coming up to a road junction, I start to slow long before the white line and I expect the horse to read my mind. She knows we don’t cross white lines without stopping first.

There is the story of my previous cob coming unbidden to a halt alongside a convenient tree stump in the woods so as to permit me to attend to a call of nature. Afterwards I laughed and laughed but that day, Joe, knew me inside and out and he stood untethered, patiently waiting for me to perform.

On thinking about it, there are numerous occasions when I expect the horse to read my mind and likewise there are lots of occasions when I need to read my horse’s mind. If she is nervous about something coming up, then I must give her a boost of confidence to go forwards. If we are to go down a strange path, she must accept my judgement that it is OK to do so, even if it may be away from home.

When the truck comes too close in a narrow country lane, I’ll tell her to stand, and the wheels will pass just inches from her feet. My hand will stroke her mane, my voice will whisper sweet nothings, but she’ll stand - even if she is wedged in against a hedgerow filled with brambles. She feels safe, cos I‘ve told her she is.

To swim mounted on a horse calls for the rider to convince the horse that it can indeed swim. Yet the horse is a natural swimmer and it knows instinctively how to paddle - even in the sea. The horse must trust the rider’s judgement in testing times and this trait is a key component of any bond.

Horses do read the human mind as well as the human can read the equine mind - so long as the pair are in tune. Dumb the horse may be, stupid it is not. In human relationships, success in a partnership depends upon the two humans involved being ‘sympatico’. For a rider to bond with a horse calls for both human and animal to be on the same wavelength and for a certain comprehension between species.

There are no strict rules for bonding - cohesion between horse and rider becomes all too evident.

B G