I don't feel a bond with my horse - The Horse Forum
 77Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #1 of 42 Old 12-02-2013, 09:27 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Sarasota, Florida
Posts: 66
• Horses: 2
I don't feel a bond with my horse

I feel like my horse hates me. I don't really know why I feel this way but I do. I feel like he doesn't really want to be around me. It's driving me crazy. I just want to be able to have my horse love and care for me as much as I do for him.
Bonding tips?

I feel unloved and everyone on Instagram is posting liberty pics with perfect bonds. And Im just like... "Eh, my horse would never do that"
tzoidbk is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 42 Old 12-02-2013, 09:32 PM
Started
 
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Canadensis, Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,313
• Horses: 1
I don't do liberty or anything, but my mare is a bit standoffish. She's not super cuddly or nosy, but she knows me.
I can touch her face, do whatever I want to her, but she won't put up with it when other people do it.
It took my girl two years to have full trust in me and allow me to do what I wanted.

How long have you had your boy for?

As for tips on bonding, don't worry so much about teaching him to bond. Just spend time with him, brush him, play around, ring work, trails, or whatever you feel like doing.
tzoidbk likes this.

I live to ride and I ride to live
Horses are just angels without wings
11/01/09 <3 my horse left hoof prints on my heart
Lexiie is offline  
post #3 of 42 Old 12-02-2013, 09:33 PM
Started
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 2,277
• Horses: 4
What do you currently do with your horse? Do you spend any time with him that isn't on his back? Or even time with him on his back but doing something he wants? Does your horse get anything out of a relationship with you besides food and a roof over his head in trade for his work?
tzoidbk likes this.
PunksTank is offline  
post #4 of 42 Old 12-02-2013, 09:35 PM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 729
• Horses: 1
Groundwork and activity miles build bonds. You don't mention how long you've had him. It took me a good year to really get to know any of my three horses and just in my third year have I truly started to bond with my current boy. I don't have the time now that I did with my first horse... I finally sold her because she never did like me, even after more than 4000 logged trail miles. Turns out she loved men. Go figure.
Posted via Mobile Device
Golden Horse, bsms and tzoidbk like this.
hemms is offline  
post #5 of 42 Old 12-02-2013, 10:04 PM
Yearling
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Washington
Posts: 1,117
• Horses: 1

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Ninamebo is offline  
post #6 of 42 Old 12-02-2013, 10:12 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 2
• Horses: 1
I feel the same way about my mare I feel like she has mixed feelings about me she loves me sometimes and sometimes she hates me it feels like.
Posted via Mobile Device
tzoidbk likes this.
katlynsizemore98 is offline  
post #7 of 42 Old 12-02-2013, 10:44 PM
Showing
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Higgins, TX. YeeHaw!!
Posts: 21,973
• Horses: 24
Guys, just because a horse isn't all lovey-dovey doesn't mean that there isn't a bond. Some horses just don't have it in them to be that way.

Part of being a horseman is learning how to adjust your own desires and needs to what the horse is willing and able to do/give. If you want a lovey-dovey horse but your horse isn't a lovey-dovey personality, then the more time you spend with him trying to make him that way is going to make him sour and resentful of your presence.

How does your horse behave toward you? Is he respectful and obedient? Willing? Does he do what you want but is sluggish about it? Is he resistant to the point that you have to make him do what you want?

Always remember that feeling of looking at a big, open country over the ears of a good horse, seeing a new trail unwind ahead of you, and that ever-spectacular view from the top of the ridge!!! Follow my training blog: http://robertsontraining.blogspot.com/
smrobs is offline  
post #8 of 42 Old 12-03-2013, 11:23 AM
Yearling
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 807
• Horses: 2
Not every horse is going to "love" you the way you love him (they're not dogs after all). I've had my guy for 3 years now and just a few weeks ago he started actively seeking attention from me. Before that he could care less and other than grooming, didn't seem to care when I scratched behind his ears or gave him a hug and sniffed that wonderful horse smell. He's never going to be as cuddly as my husbands horse, but we have our own kind of love affair~
Palomine likes this.
Boo Walker is offline  
post #9 of 42 Old 12-03-2013, 11:32 AM
Trained
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 5,311
• Horses: 1
Horses don't love like people do. Horses don't love like dogs do. Dogs have been selectively bred for thousands of years to love humans - not so with horses.

Some horses are expressive, some aren't.

If you want a better relationship with your horse you have to try to build one. Even then be still may never be expressive. Also, don't confuse training with a bond. Liberty training is training. Training is what you work with. Training is what you ride. Try spending more non riding time together. Groundwork, take walks, just hang out. Sometimes I just stand in my horse's stall playing on my phone while he eats. When I first got him he didn't care, now every so often he will touch his nose to me and keep eating.
Posted via Mobile Device
DancingArabian is offline  
post #10 of 42 Old 12-03-2013, 11:59 AM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,937
• Horses: 3
Quote:
Guys, just because a horse isn't all lovey-dovey doesn't mean that there isn't a bond. Some horses just don't have it in them to be that way.

Part of being a horseman is learning how to adjust your own desires and needs to what the horse is willing and able to do/give. If you want a lovey-dovey horse but your horse isn't a lovey-dovey personality, then the more time you spend with him trying to make him that way is going to make him sour and resentful of your presence.

How does your horse behave toward you? Is he respectful and obedient? Willing? Does he do what you want but is sluggish about it? Is he resistant to the point that you have to make him do what you want?
I want to double like this.

Imagine being a person that is fairly matter-of-fact. Great person, but not the lovey, touchy type. They want to spend time with their friends, but would rather be doing an activity. Not big on small talk. Then say they get paired up with a bubbly person that wants to hug and hang off them constantly. Always wants to be talking and their favorite thing to do is hang out together, not getting much done.

see how this would not end well? The first person would be annoyed at the touchy-feely person that was wasting time, and babbling away about nothing constantly. The bubbly person would feel unliked, because a)they were not reciprocating the way they chose to express themselves and b) the other person was now seriously annoyed and avoiding them.

this is how most(particularly young, and/or beginner) recreational horse people start out. If you don't have a naturally touchy-feely, in your pocket type horse, trying to force your good, honest horse into that mold will only frustrate you and seriously annoy your horse. Learn to respect what your horse is, and love the type of personality it has, instead of hoping for the magical, lovey-dovey Disney bond.

My mare, and one of my favorite horses that my BO owns, are of the "lets get to work!" type. Don't want pets, love, hugs or praises, they want to be able to get to work and do their job, that's what they love and get satisfaction from. I personally adore this type of horse, and don't expect any thing else from them. My filly Pickles, is the lovey type, who could stand there all day surrounded by little girls brushing, braiding, and covering her in pink sparkles. And you know what? That's OK too.
BlueSpark is offline  
Reply

Tags
bonding , help training , liberty training

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Don't feel bad if you don't have an indoor... MyBoyPuck Horse Riding 20 02-18-2013 08:53 PM
I have no bond with my horse, I feel like I failed CountryChic12 Horse Talk 28 12-06-2012 02:50 PM
I feel like I don't know anything. shaggy Horse Talk 10 08-19-2012 11:49 PM
I feel done...I just don't want to be AllThePrettyHorses Horse Talk 21 08-17-2011 07:12 PM
I feel like I don't know enough... BluMagic Horse Training 15 03-28-2008 01:06 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome