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I don't feel a bond with my horse

This is a discussion on I don't feel a bond with my horse within the Natural Horsemanship forums, part of the Training Horses category

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        12-03-2013, 08:55 PM
      #21
    Trained
    Since I'm at a computer ATM, it's a little easier to share my training/bond story with my horse.

    When I got my horse, he was a spazzing moron. It took over a year, and many, many shared experiences before he really started warming up to me. Don't get me wrong - he definitely liked me. He's food motivated and liked being engaged. He's a funny little Arab. But it wasn't until we established our roles (which he still tests every so often) and experienced things (some fun, some scary, some just weird) that he really started to come around. He'll call for me, he'll come running when he hears my truck (my car confuses him because a few boarders have little grey cars but he does perk up). If I don't see him for a day, he WHINNIES supper loudly and comes running and prances around me doing that Arabian neck thing as if to say ERMAGHERD WHERE WERE YOU?!?!?!?!1!!

    But it wasn't always that way. We've gone through our share of difficulties, including a really odd trainer. We click well enough that people comment on it when we go places.

    (Though I'm still a bit of a hot mess in the saddle, we're awesome in hand!)
    Walkamile likes this.
         
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        12-04-2013, 11:55 AM
      #22
    Weanling
    I don't feel like my horse and I need a puppy dog bond to get the job done. As long as my horse trusts me and works for me, I don't really care if it "loves" me.

    I think people worry too much about expecting animals to show human like emotion or put too many human like attributes on what an animal does.

    Jim
    Walkamile and Speed Racer like this.
         
        12-04-2013, 12:09 PM
      #23
    Green Broke
    Not all horses are going to be cuddle-bugs.

    My horse doesn't show much affection. He's pretty stoic, and doesn't have too much of a personality. But he come to me when I go to catch him, and there is a certain calmness about him. Even if he isn't all over me all the time, I still think he "loves" (whatever the entails for a horse xD *ahem* treat-bringer) me.
         
        12-04-2013, 12:59 PM
      #24
    Green Broke
    The whole "bonding" thing with horses is overworked and overrated to boot.

    Many horses are not loving horses. They may like you just fine, but they are not dogs.

    If horse does what is asked of it, and does that willingly, that is what you really want.
         
        12-04-2013, 06:59 PM
      #25
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by PunksTank    
    What do you currently do with your horse? Do you spend any time with him that isn't on his back? Or even time with him on his back but doing something he wants? Does your horse get anything out of a relationship with you besides food and a roof over his head in trade for his work?
    I haven't rode him in three weeks because of his lameness. (Long story, but he's fine now. Just giving him a break for his feet) Anyways, we usually just go on trails or jump. We change it around a lot. I want to do liberty but we just switched barns and the lameness kicked in and ugh. But we're going to start doing liberty like I was saying. Lol
         
        12-04-2013, 07:01 PM
      #26
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jimmyp    
    I don't feel like my horse and I need a puppy dog bond to get the job done. As long as my horse trusts me and works for me, I don't really care if it "loves" me.

    I think people worry too much about expecting animals to show human like emotion or put too many human like attributes on what an animal does.

    Jim
    I get what you mean. But I would like to have a bond to my horse of where he will come to me in pasture when I want him and he is happy with life. Not a dead soul horse.
         
        12-05-2013, 01:19 AM
      #27
    Weanling
    Just my dos centavos, my horse could care less about attention, he is standoffish, doesn't care to be petted or fussed over in any kind of way. Once in the saddle he is very willing and forward and there has never been much I have asked of him he hasn't done, and he is very forgiving to children and inexperienced riders. His personality is use me, then put me up til you need me again. Don't come give a brushing or hugs because they annoy me.
    This just bugs the crap outta DW because she loves to dote on our animals/ Now her horse is the exact opposite, in her (and only her) back pocket and loves to be groomed and bathed and what have you. Point to this? None, just showing personality difference within our own barn.
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        12-05-2013, 03:07 AM
      #28
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tzoidbk    
    I get what you mean. But I would like to have a bond to my horse of where he will come to me in pasture when I want him and he is happy with life. Not a dead soul horse.
    If you want him to come to the gate or you, maybe even knicker when he sees you, make being with you a pleasure. You could use clicker training. You could use treats but that could make a treat monster too.

    Using their stomach is another way. Once you catch him, groom him, clean his hooves or whatever, give him some feed before you turn him back out. It's not bribing him but if you do it consistently, he will associate you with feed.

    You don't need a bond for him to do this. It is training. Same with getting him to do things at liberty, training.
    Posted via Mobile Device
    smrobs likes this.
         
        12-05-2013, 08:41 AM
      #29
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tzoidbk    
    I get what you mean. But I would like to have a bond to my horse of where he will come to me in pasture when I want him and he is happy with life. Not a dead soul horse.
    My assumption, is that he IS happy with life and is not a dead soul horse..... My assumption is that at somepoint you have seen someone or you your self have had a horse that had a different personality, and in effect you want that type of relationship with your current horse, and feel like your horse is "broken".

    We have 16 horses on the place, of those 16 I spend about 80% of my time riding 2 of them, both are my Field trial horses. The gelding is my buddy, he wants to have my attention, will steal my hat, plays dumb games with the hose when Im trying to water, you get the point. My mare, affectionately called the "War Horse" around the farm, is the boss mare on the place, she could care less to see me, unless I have feed or tack. Other than that she doesnt care anything for me, she hangs out and does her thing. Is she happy? Hell I don't know. Is my gelding happy? No clue...., If you need a horse to be your pal, you may look for another horse, this one may not have the personality your looking for. To be honest I prefer my mares personality, over my goofball gelding, but most wouldnt agree with that.

    Jim
         
        12-05-2013, 10:15 AM
      #30
    Yearling
    I bought my gelding in March, and for the first 3 months I was pretty sure we hated each other. As soon as I realized he's just a get-to-work-or-leave-me-alone type, we got along much better. He gets annoyed at being pet or loved on, but does loves having his belly scratched. He will never be the kind to come running to greet me at the gate, but he will try very hard to do what I ask of him, and that's huge to me.
         

    Tags
    bonding, help training, liberty training

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