One must approach the horse with a BALANCE of Love, Language, & Leadership, all in equal doses. Forgetting friendliness won't work; she will not see you as alpha for that, she'll see you as a horse Nazi, even though she'll obey out of pain avoidance.
Your jabbing her mouth, screaming & crying ARE serious events, to your horse! YOU are the one who experienced her shut down from a connection with you, as YOU were the only one there! Don't go against your own experience, or you'll be forever confused by the opinings of the absent. That's Level 2 PNH, btw; figure out your own problems!
You'll want to apologize to her for your behaviour: if you're doing PNH, you'll recall Pat saying that BEFORE you act out on your horse, when you're just indulging in emotional impatience or frustration, you need to stop, do nothing, get yourself together, then apologize to your horse for your emotional unfitness.
In PNH, it's the relationship first & foremost. Anyone can MAKE a horse do something; the point of NH is to cause a horse to WANT to.
Also, whenever a horse won't proceed on the trail/out of arena, in PNH, we don't try & force them to proceed! We first see if the horse is right-brain (scared) or left-brain (trying to take over, unafraid). What was the case with your horse?
Last edited by Northern; 01-14-2012 at 08:01 PM.