I lost it, I feel so bad, what to do?!? - Page 3
   

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I lost it, I feel so bad, what to do?!?

This is a discussion on I lost it, I feel so bad, what to do?!? within the Natural Horsemanship forums, part of the Training Horses category
  • Hidalgo
  • Horse join up fear bad

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    01-15-2012, 07:47 PM
  #21
Started
Step One is to understand whether she was balking out of FEAR or out of CHALLENGING YOUR LEADERSHIP, which question I asked of you in my first post. You won't EVER be able to respond properly for your horse if you don't assess their reason for balking (or whatever). Furthermore, you'll ruin the horse, because scolding for fear is so destructive to the horse, & puts your relationship in the negative numbers.

Sometimes, also, it's flat-out CONFUSION, based upon IGNORANCE of a fact(s), & the confusion is swiftly followed by FEAR, because it's scary to be confused.

I'm not looking at the horse as if he's a human at ALL. Apologize to your horse when appropriate, you bet!

So, again: why did she refuse to proceed?
     
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    01-15-2012, 07:54 PM
  #22
Started
Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinD    
Ask 100 horsemen and you'll get 100 different answers! Even if those answers are simply personal interpretation of the same general philosophy. .
Fix: ask 100 horsemen & you'll get 101 different answers!

That's why, OP, you should just pray that you find the mentor who knows what he/she is talkin' about. Expect only the same on any online board as you've found on this thread. Good Luck!
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    01-15-2012, 08:06 PM
  #23
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyNeigh    
I love you guys. You are awsome. I am going to get her to learn that respect!! I am leader. I am the one in charge.

I've been studying join up for a while now, and am going to try this on my mare. It should help.


THANK YOU PEOPLE OF GREAT AWESOMENESS!!!
Not putting in this quote for glory, but only wanted to point out how confident you felt after a few responses yesterday, and now feeling a bit confused (not to say there weren't many wonderful suggestions!) - go back to your initial instincts, keep it simple and ride on :)
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    01-16-2012, 06:34 PM
  #24
Started
I'm not a NH person, but I can relate to the feeling, OP.

I had a breakdown while working with my dad's 6 year old mare. She was just ram-jammed into work, getting quick training as she went along. She hardly had any extra time spent on just her training.

So, I put a snaffle in her mouth and went back to the beginning. About 3 weeks in, while working on her loping issues (Running through your hands, lunging into the lope, always breaking gait when asked for a circle of any size, and sort of turning her ribcage out of the circle) I lost it.

I ended up slamming on the brakes and used my leg and split rein not so nicely to get the "move your ribcage in" idea across as well as getting back into a lope, and doing the same then, and then when she tried to ignore my hands, or switch to the wrong lead when she didn't want to circle, I'd pull her into a spiral, also not too nicely.

I also yelled at her, and tried my bestest not to cry (It's my reaction to frustration...). So, I felt super discouraged and went back to the farm, gave her some "I'm sorry" oats, and let her back with the rest of the horses.
But on the upside, it seems that I did actually get my point across in the end. The next time I actually wanted to ride her, she was almost a totally different horse. I'm actually using her for teaching myself English right now.

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    01-16-2012, 07:03 PM
  #25
Showing
I'm always trying to analyse why an animal does something in what seems to be out of the blue. Horse know things about the ground that we don't, an old well from maybe a hundred years ago, I'll get off and investigate. I suspect this pony figured she was far enough away from home, in unfamiliar fields. All in all, she was likely pretty nervous about the whole scene and reacted as scared horses do.
     
    01-16-2012, 07:16 PM
  #26
Showing
I wouldn't worry about getting her to "join up" as not all horses will. You can start getting her respect in the pasture. Pack a riding crop, in case, because she is in with other horses who might crowd you. Approach your mare from behind (her blind spot) and get her to move, preferably just a few steps. Stand where she was standing. The circle and approach again. Do this until she will watch you with both eyes. One eye means she's looking for the door. Two eyes means you have her undivided attention. When you have both eyes, stand still and slump your shoulders, look at her nose, not eyes, and approach with your fist extended and when quite close see if she will reach the last inch and touch your hand. The following and moving her is proving that you are higher in the order than she is. The greeting is what horses do that things are ok unless she won't. She must come the last inch or you have lost the dominance. Play this game with her and before long when you enter the pasture she will change her position so she can watch you. She is now accepting you as more dominant. If she won't greet you or begins to turn away, quickly turn and walk the opposite way. This actually draws the horse back. If she leaves first, again you've lost your leadership. Have fun with it and smile and talk to your horse.
     
    01-16-2012, 07:18 PM
  #27
Green Broke
I hadn't mentioned originally that my mare does this also - apparantly had done it for quite a few years, (after talking with her previous owner), but still randomly has those "weird" moments as if wolves were at her heels... I do believe she's a tad "pasture sour", (she proved it to me while trail riding, and it was very out of the blue) so I frequently use her pasture as an "outdoor arena" of sorts. I get to ride, she gets the excercise, and since she's a pleasure horse for me in this stage of her life, we are both happy!
     
    01-16-2012, 08:24 PM
  #28
Weanling
Keeping an even temperament as much as possible is one of the crucial aspects of being a good horse person. Even in times when we need to be firm or aggressive, we can't discipline out of frustration or anger.

Ever since I started to seriously work on not taking things personally when I run into problems with my horse I've noticed I communicate so much more effectively and then they understand what I'm asking of them quicker.

You should not feel bad for making her move, but timing is crucial when it comes to discipline in horses. If you only make her move once you reach your boiling point and yank on her mouth out of anger you are sending her confusing signals.

She is not holding a grudge against you, if anything she is probably just not sure why it happened. You do not need to feel bad or apologize to her, you need to become a better leader. Being consistent, firm, confident, and even-tempered will help you to accomplish this and she won't feel like she needs to take charge. Don't ask and then beg her to walk on, she'll let you beg forever. Figure out the correct timing so that she is clear on what she is being expected to do. If that means poppin her with a crop after asking twice, then so be it.
     
    01-23-2012, 12:39 PM
  #29
Weanling
Talking Update!!

Update update update

I led her down the road yesterday morning in her bridle, walking trotting stopping backing her up and it went well
Went for a ride with a friend from field, picking up on every single manner violation
Returned to field, untacked, then rode her bareback up the road. At one point she swung round and started cantering back, but immediately I whipped her back around and thacked her across her butt with my stick. Behaved like an angel after that did walkingtrotting etc with her again. I now have angel pony!!
Im going to stick hard at keeping her manners perfect

And she did deserve a good thwack as she did nearly get me off onto the tarmac
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    01-23-2012, 12:51 PM
  #30
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyNeigh    
update update update

I led her down the road yesterday morning in her bridle, walking trotting stopping backing her up and it went well
Went for a ride with a friend from field, picking up on every single manner violation
Returned to field, untacked, then rode her bareback up the road. At one point she swung round and started cantering back, but immediately I whipped her back around and thacked her across her butt with my stick. Behaved like an angel after that did walkingtrotting etc with her again. I now have angel pony!!
Im going to stick hard at keeping her manners perfect

And she did deserve a good thwack as she did nearly get me off onto the tarmac
That's such good news - congratulations!! It is truly amazing at what a tad more firmness can accomplish-had a couple of hairy mornings with the cold recently, but standing firm with a "no nonsense" attitude solved the problem quickly. I'm very glad for you! :)
     

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