Originally Posted by PrincessBarbie
he grabbed it and dumps it in the barn and threw the bucket down he said "Don't blank my blank off". Posted via Mobile Device
Barbie, I'm going to be frank and don't take this the wrong way because I'm not saying it to be critical or mean, but it's more of an observation, based on what you've posted about this friend.
He doesn't seem to understand horse behaviour in the least. Putting her in the barn and taking feed away from her as "punishment" is totally ineffective. Not only would she have forgotten what it was she had done by that point, but IMO, taking away her feed is not something she would understand as a punishment at all. Corrective action has to be immediate. They do something bad, they receive a swat or a scolding or whatever is warranted at the time, immediately. That builds the cause and effect relationship between their behaviour and what happens as a result of that behaviour. Conversely, it's the same for good behaviour as well. They do something you want and they receive some sort of positive reinforcement right away.
Furthermore, throwing a tantrum and dumping feed on the floor shows a complete lack of self-control, which does not mix well with horses, and is just plain unacceptable conduct. At the stable where I ride, if someone conducted themselves in that manner, they would be asked to leave. Horses will pick up on tension or aggression, even if when it's not displayed.
You seem like you really care about this filly and want the best for her. Saying that, I would highly encourage you to find a different place for her to stay with someone different assisting you with her handling. From what you've mentioned, this sounds like a recipe for disaster and isn't safe for either you or your horse.