Is there a parellel ?
   

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Is there a parellel ?

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  • Parallel horse training

 
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    08-28-2009, 12:04 PM
  #1
Yearling
Is there a parellel ?

Is there a parallel between how we communicate with each other(humans) and how we communicate with horses?

Are you misunderstood when talking to other people?

Do you feel that the other party does not listen?

Do you get real frustrated and want to scream at the top of your lungs "That is not what I meant".

Do you sometimes feel like you are not given the benefit of the doubt?

Do you get mad when someone else misreads your intentions and scolds you for your words or actions.

Do you get mad when someone does not let you finish what you were trying to say and maybe interrupts what you were trying to say?

Do you get upset when you are trying to do what someone asked you to do and they think you are not trying hard enough or you are not fast enough?


I know that I feel that I am from time to time and also with certain people because of the dynamics involved.

I have meet a couple of horses that feel the same way...I think!


What are your thoughts?
     
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    08-28-2009, 12:23 PM
  #2
Trained
Awesome thread!
I'm planning on doing something for my research thesis so I'm interested to see what other people have to say!

I think there most certainly is. In people, your actual words mean very little. The majority of communication comes from body language followed by our tones. Words make up the smallest amount of communication. With horses it is the same, except they have no words.

If I am communicating with a person, any misunderstanding comes from a screw up in the word department. With horses, if we learn to ignore our words and just use our body language, there is a better line of communication there. Horses also understand tone so it is the words that cause the miscommunication between both horse and human.

Looking at your questions, they can be answered in many differant ways. For example: "Do you sometimes feel like you are not given the benefit of the doubt?" is the most obvious one for me. Obviously, in the human-human world, this is obvious. You come in late for work because your car broke down and you tell your boss -- You can tell from verbal and non-verbal cues that he probably doesn't believe you.
With a horse, this is huge. We must always give the horse the benefit of the doubt. With training issues, we must look to ourselves. Are we asking wrong? What does the horse think about it -- Is he in pain? Is everything fitting correctly? Too often when training horses, our words get the better of us. If a horse could talk, he would TELL us he is in pain by saying "Hey jerk, lay off my face, my teeth hurt". As he horse he tells us these things, but sometimes we don't listen. He tells us by throwing his head, pinning his ears, and showing pain. If we are tuned into understanding the language of the horse, this is just as good as words to us, otherwise this can be misunderstood as disobedience.

I think horse-human and human-human relationships are very closely entwined. If we as equestrians can learn to listen to all the things our horse is telling us, we can also learn to fine tune ourselves to understand all the non-verbal cues that our fellow humans are telling us.

I kind of got off track and started rambling..but maybe that answers your question! :)
     
    08-28-2009, 03:54 PM
  #3
Yearling
Ohhhhh ya...I think there is a connection. I find that people who speak before thinking, have over-reactions to situations and jump all over your sentences before you are done speaking tend to do the same thing with horses. They tend to over anticipate bad behaviour in the horse, react big to percieved faults in the horse, and don't give them a chance to react to what is being asked.
The opposite side of that are people who are contemplative with their words, active listeners, and those who like you said, give the benefit of the doubt. These folks seem to think about the "why" of the behaviour, considder how their own actions influence the horse, and give them time to think out a request before correction/trying a new approach.
Of course, there are many different personalities and behaviours to take into consideration, but those are just a few examples. In the end, our horses are reflections of us, I think, the good the bad and the ugly. No one is perfect, and our horses are certainly not either. Sometimes does it seem like horses can magnify our worst personality flaws - kinda to the point where is it a good thing because it becomes so obvious that we are forced to deal with it? Just a thought...
     
    08-28-2009, 04:49 PM
  #4
Started
There is absolutely a connection! Before starting my work with Parelli I used to be VERY impatient, easily frazzled and frustrated, and just not concerned with anything but getting what I wanted and getting it now.

Horses have taught me to have never ending patience, how to be cool, calm and collected mentally and emotionally and to work on the ingrediants of the 'big picture' so that my ultimate goal comes very easily. I believe that I would not have learned this huge life lessons from anyone else but my horses and the horses I've worked with over the years. I'm WAY more laid back than I ever was before and I definitely see a change in how I interact with people. Parelli often says "This isn't horse training, this is people training." That is SO TRUE! Not just in our horsemanship endeavors, but in our personal lives as well. I have more confidence in myself and I'm able to take the role as leader in my personal life whenever I have to very easily now, where before I would get frazzled and not know how to deal with myself. I guess you could say I've become more 'balanced.'
     
    08-29-2009, 05:17 PM
  #5
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marecare    
Is there a parallel between how we communicate with each other(humans) and how we communicate with horses?

Are you misunderstood when talking to other people?

Do you feel that the other party does not listen?

Do you get real frustrated and want to scream at the top of your lungs "That is not what I meant".

Do you sometimes feel like you are not given the benefit of the doubt?

Do you get mad when someone else misreads your intentions and scolds you for your words or actions.

Do you get mad when someone does not let you finish what you were trying to say and maybe interrupts what you were trying to say?

Do you get upset when you are trying to do what someone asked you to do and they think you are not trying hard enough or you are not fast enough?

I know that I feel that I am from time to time and also with certain people because of the dynamics involved.

I have meet a couple of horses that feel the same way...I think!


What are your thoughts?
Seriously, I think a horse could of written this post
     
    08-29-2009, 05:23 PM
  #6
Trained
^ Haha, no kidding!
     
    08-29-2009, 08:52 PM
  #7
Yearling
Well,
My horse dictated and I typed.

He is having trouble with the keyboard so I help him from time to time.
     
    08-30-2009, 07:23 PM
  #8
Yearling
Cheers to that, Marecare. My horse and I have such a brilliant connection that she is going to write my entire PhD thesis. :)
     
    09-02-2009, 07:48 PM
  #9
Foal
There's a major connection in my humble opinion. I'm a teacher, and the same problems I encounter when working with my horses show up in the classroom. I get frustrated when my students don't remember anything we learned yesterday (more so than with the horses, because horses can't study or do homework after I leave). I have a tough time motivating human or horse if the other party thinks what they're doing serves no purpose or is "stupid" regardless of how important it actually is.

On the flip side, if I start having trouble in the classroom, I ask myself what I would do to regain control of the situation if the students were a horse and it usually works out. :)
     
    09-02-2009, 08:51 PM
  #10
Green Broke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marecare    
Well,
My horse dictated and I typed.

He is having trouble with the keyboard so I help him from time to time.
Ahh. Love it.
     

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