I agree CA brings their head to their girth, but not at first, he does it in increments. If you put some pressure on and she give you gotta let go, there are phases to these things, it is like asking you to run a 5k if you never ran a step, you have to work up to it. I am glad you are asking, it can be very frustrating, but you cannot learn everything you need to know from a DVD. They are only covering that one moment in time with that one animal and each one is different.
Do you have anyone experienced in your area to help you?