Is it wrong to give your horse a pat? - Page 11
 
 

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Is it wrong to give your horse a pat?

This is a discussion on Is it wrong to give your horse a pat? within the Natural Horsemanship forums, part of the Training Horses category

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        05-07-2013, 04:54 AM
      #101
    Green Broke
    Ellie, I'm not sure if you're misunderstanding this thread or you meant to reply to a different thread. This one is about giving a pat as praise, not as discipline.
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        05-07-2013, 08:12 AM
      #102
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by usandpets    
    Ellie, I'm not sure if you're misunderstanding this thread or you meant to reply to a different thread. This one is about giving a pat as praise, not as discipline.
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    i think ellie was refering to the parelli trainer, not the horse.
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        05-07-2013, 03:30 PM
      #103
    Started
    Buck up and tell her to back off. Some situations call for a little meanness. People will walk all over you otherwise.

    Offering to help someone is one thing, but hovering and gushing information (especially to relative strangers) is past her boundaries, and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

    Horses aren't stupid. They know the difference between a "good job" pat and a "back off" smack. Your horse will survive being patted. If that's the worst thing that ever happens to him, he's got a darn good life.
         
        05-09-2013, 12:53 AM
      #104
    Weanling
    Keep it short and sweet, something like, 'we're doing just fine, thank you'.
    Repeat as needed. Don't worry, you will not hurt her feelings!
    Eventually she will get the message, sooner, if everyone does/says the same thing!
         
        05-09-2013, 10:45 AM
      #105
    Started
    Lawd, what would the woman who said: "I shouldn't pat my horse on the neck" say if she knew I kissed my horse on the nose - that in fact I prefer to kiss my horse rather than most of the women I meet.

    PS I also cuddle my dog.
    AnitaAnne, usandpets and EliRose like this.
         
        05-09-2013, 11:35 AM
      #106
    Super Moderator
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Barry Godden    
    Lawd, what would the woman who said: "I shouldn't pat my horse on the neck" say if she knew I kissed my horse on the nose - that in fact I prefer to kiss my horse rather than most of the women I meet.

    PS I also cuddle my dog.
    You sound like my husband
    Hopefully I'm the only woman he chooses to kiss!!!
         
        05-10-2013, 07:16 AM
      #107
    Started
    The Lady Lion

    The issue of ‘to pat or not to pat’ is a serious matter for the horse/owner/rider/trainer to consider. Remember what we horse owners are aiming to do is to teach the horse into becoming a responsive domesticated animal. The animal is to be part of our wider family and it may find its role alongside the dog, the cat and maybe even the budgie. However the foal is born with feral instincts and in theory it could live untended by man as do its wild brethren. The foal learns from its mother and any young stock it may run with, a way of surviving. It was born with fear and it is taught by its equine peers of what to be afraid.
    Then along come we humans who seek to teach it how it can be useful to man.
    Actually we can’t teach it very much that it does not know already through its genes but what we can teach is performance upon command. To achieve this objective calls for patience, understanding, observation and experience on the part of the tutor. The horse cannot speak but otherwise its senses of hearing, smell, touch, sight and taste are acute. Therefore we humans must adapt our methods of communication with the animal to achieve our aim. The horse does not understand our words. A single syllable word such as ‘halt’ or ‘stop’ to a horse merely a sound which calls for an acquired response once learned. Whereas it can feel the presence of a fly upon its skin. Touch becomes therefore a powerful tool in our schooling.
    The fundamental obstacle to the human when schooling the horse is the fear which has been inborn in the horse as an instinct for survival. In a country like the UK, we humans are the top predator of the animal kingdom and the horse soon learns that undoubted fact. It has its own ways of judging us as fellow creatures on this hostile planet and it makes that judgement from experience with us. When we go up and stroke the horse on the neck, or the shoulder, the belly, the back, the leg, then we humans are offering peace and companionship. Along with us should come safety, shelter, food and tender loving care.

    So, as long as ‘a pat’ is not ‘a slap‘, then the horse won’t object to our touch, even if we are named as a predator, indeed it make come to welcome the contact with a fellow Earth dweller - especially if the human comes bearing treats. And if the response to a pat is returned by our equine companion either as a lick or a gentle nudge - then are we not blessed?
         
        05-10-2013, 11:27 AM
      #108
    Started
    I started with Parelli when I got my first horse several years ago....it worked for me, my horse and our situation at the time. However, I feel I have now graduated from the Parelli ways. Along the way, I've had different horses and different techniques enter my life. I've taken bits and pieces from all of it.

    In my beginning days, I was also told about patting being wrong. Now, I don't believe that. I am a very 'hands-on' my horse kind of person. My horses definitely know the difference between me patting them and telling them to move. Horses don't pat eachother.....because they can't!! I also believe that some horses are much more sensitive than others. Some may also have old experiences that they relate the pat to. My old mare, when I started with Parelli, was one of those....so that was why the more subtle ways of things worked for us. However, after I had a relationship developed with this mare, I can't say she minded it if I patted her then.

    So, I would say read the horse whom you are working with. If it bothers them, don't annoy them. Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with it really.
         
        05-13-2013, 03:21 PM
      #109
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by christopher    
    i think ellie was refering to the parelli trainer, not the horse.
    One person in here suggested telling the one that is hovering to (and I quote) "Shove it" I think that to be unappropriate. So I sugessted a gentle way to approah the one that hovers. Maybe no one has ever told the one that hovers that her behavior is not apropriate.
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        05-14-2013, 12:29 AM
      #110
    Weanling
    I agree with horses understanding the intent behind an action. I pat my horse lightly, sometimes, to reward him. He understands this and is very happy to be patted. His favorite is a good rubbing though. As for that trainer. I would tell her, "I really appreciate you taking an interest in helping me and my horse. Sometimes I feel like you are putting me down though and it makes me really uncomfortable. I know you are just trying to help, and I thank you for that. Going forward, would it be ok if I just come to you with any questions I have, rather than you watching over me?" I think this is a nice way to ask her to back off.
         

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