Is it wrong to give your horse a pat? - Page 11 - The Horse Forum
 273Likes
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
post #101 of 145 Old 05-07-2013, 05:54 AM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: North Dakota, USA
Posts: 3,440
• Horses: 8
Ellie, I'm not sure if you're misunderstanding this thread or you meant to reply to a different thread. This one is about giving a pat as praise, not as discipline.
Posted via Mobile Device
usandpets is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #102 of 145 Old 05-07-2013, 09:12 AM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 678
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by usandpets View Post
Ellie, I'm not sure if you're misunderstanding this thread or you meant to reply to a different thread. This one is about giving a pat as praise, not as discipline.
Posted via Mobile Device
i think ellie was refering to the parelli trainer, not the horse.
loosie likes this.
christopher is offline  
post #103 of 145 Old 05-07-2013, 04:30 PM
Started
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Middle-of-Nowhere, Illinois
Posts: 2,225
• Horses: 1
Buck up and tell her to back off. Some situations call for a little meanness. People will walk all over you otherwise.

Offering to help someone is one thing, but hovering and gushing information (especially to relative strangers) is past her boundaries, and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

Horses aren't stupid. They know the difference between a "good job" pat and a "back off" smack. Your horse will survive being patted. If that's the worst thing that ever happens to him, he's got a darn good life.

"A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is ultimately to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.
" Abraham Maslow, 1968
Jessabel is offline  
post #104 of 145 Old 05-09-2013, 01:53 AM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: BC
Posts: 449
• Horses: 2
Keep it short and sweet, something like, 'we're doing just fine, thank you'.
Repeat as needed. Don't worry, you will not hurt her feelings!
Eventually she will get the message, sooner, if everyone does/says the same thing!
livelovelaughride is offline  
post #105 of 145 Old 05-09-2013, 11:45 AM
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 2,061
• Horses: 1
Lawd, what would the woman who said: "I shouldn't pat my horse on the neck" say if she knew I kissed my horse on the nose - that in fact I prefer to kiss my horse rather than most of the women I meet.

PS I also cuddle my dog.
AnitaAnne, usandpets and EliRose like this.
xxBarry Godden is offline  
post #106 of 145 Old 05-09-2013, 12:35 PM
Super Moderator
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: CT USA an English transplant
Posts: 23,402
• Horses: 3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Barry Godden View Post
Lawd, what would the woman who said: "I shouldn't pat my horse on the neck" say if she knew I kissed my horse on the nose - that in fact I prefer to kiss my horse rather than most of the women I meet.

PS I also cuddle my dog.
You sound like my husband
Hopefully I'm the only woman he chooses to kiss!!!
jaydee is offline  
post #107 of 145 Old 05-10-2013, 08:16 AM
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 2,061
• Horses: 1
The Lady Lion

The issue of ‘to pat or not to pat’ is a serious matter for the horse/owner/rider/trainer to consider. Remember what we horse owners are aiming to do is to teach the horse into becoming a responsive domesticated animal. The animal is to be part of our wider family and it may find its role alongside the dog, the cat and maybe even the budgie. However the foal is born with feral instincts and in theory it could live untended by man as do its wild brethren. The foal learns from its mother and any young stock it may run with, a way of surviving. It was born with fear and it is taught by its equine peers of what to be afraid.
Then along come we humans who seek to teach it how it can be useful to man.
Actually we can’t teach it very much that it does not know already through its genes but what we can teach is performance upon command. To achieve this objective calls for patience, understanding, observation and experience on the part of the tutor. The horse cannot speak but otherwise its senses of hearing, smell, touch, sight and taste are acute. Therefore we humans must adapt our methods of communication with the animal to achieve our aim. The horse does not understand our words. A single syllable word such as ‘halt’ or ‘stop’ to a horse merely a sound which calls for an acquired response once learned. Whereas it can feel the presence of a fly upon its skin. Touch becomes therefore a powerful tool in our schooling.
The fundamental obstacle to the human when schooling the horse is the fear which has been inborn in the horse as an instinct for survival. In a country like the UK, we humans are the top predator of the animal kingdom and the horse soon learns that undoubted fact. It has its own ways of judging us as fellow creatures on this hostile planet and it makes that judgement from experience with us. When we go up and stroke the horse on the neck, or the shoulder, the belly, the back, the leg, then we humans are offering peace and companionship. Along with us should come safety, shelter, food and tender loving care.

So, as long as ‘a pat’ is not ‘a slap‘, then the horse won’t object to our touch, even if we are named as a predator, indeed it make come to welcome the contact with a fellow Earth dweller - especially if the human comes bearing treats. And if the response to a pat is returned by our equine companion either as a lick or a gentle nudge - then are we not blessed?
xxBarry Godden is offline  
post #108 of 145 Old 05-10-2013, 12:27 PM
Started
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Chula Vista, CA
Posts: 1,996
• Horses: 3
I started with Parelli when I got my first horse several years ago....it worked for me, my horse and our situation at the time. However, I feel I have now graduated from the Parelli ways. Along the way, I've had different horses and different techniques enter my life. I've taken bits and pieces from all of it.

In my beginning days, I was also told about patting being wrong. Now, I don't believe that. I am a very 'hands-on' my horse kind of person. My horses definately know the difference between me patting them and telling them to move. Horses don't pat eachother.....because they can't!! I also believe that some horses are much more sensitive than others. Some may also have old experiences that they relate the pat to. My old mare, when I started with Parelli, was one of those....so that was why the more subtle ways of things worked for us. However, after I had a relationship developed with this mare, I can't say she minded it if I patted her then.

So, I would say read the horse whom you are working with. If it bothers them, don't annoy them. Otherwise, there is nothing wrong with it really.
Oldhorselady is offline  
post #109 of 145 Old 05-13-2013, 04:21 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northwestern Oregon
Posts: 106
• Horses: 0
Quote:
Originally Posted by christopher View Post
i think ellie was refering to the parelli trainer, not the horse.
One person in here suggested telling the one that is hovering to (and I quote) "Shove it" I think that to be unappropriate. So I sugessted a gentle way to approah the one that hovers. Maybe no one has ever told the one that hovers that her behavior is not apropriate.
Posted via Mobile Device
Ellie Bramel is offline  
post #110 of 145 Old 05-14-2013, 01:29 AM
Weanling
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 635
• Horses: 0
I agree with horses understanding the intent behind an action. I pat my horse lightly, sometimes, to reward him. He understands this and is very happy to be patted. His favorite is a good rubbing though. As for that trainer. I would tell her, "I really appreciate you taking an interest in helping me and my horse. Sometimes I feel like you are putting me down though and it makes me really uncomfortable. I know you are just trying to help, and I thank you for that. Going forward, would it be ok if I just come to you with any questions I have, rather than you watching over me?" I think this is a nice way to ask her to back off.

Strength is not defined by physical ability. It is determined by your actions and the compassion of your soul.
Bagheera is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

Already have a Horse Forum account?
Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

New to the Horse Forum?
Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.



User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in









Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


Old Thread Warning
This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Pat Parelli Abuses Horse "Catwalk" at Festival of the Horse Natural Horsemanship Demo spirithorse8 Natural Horsemanship 338 09-06-2010 05:36 PM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome