Is it wrong to give your horse a pat? - Page 9 - The Horse Forum
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post #81 of 145 Old 03-21-2013, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by xlionesss View Post
LOL no worries, and to someones question....she comes to the barn to help "train"
I believe specifically for a gelding here who is bottom of the totem pole, quiet and sweet etc....but his owner is VERY timid.
Honestly I have not one clue LOL
She comes to YOUR barn. YOU pay board there - not her.

You need to talk to your BO - who needs to talk to her about offering unsolicited advice - harassing and nagging her boarders. More than one person has changed barns due to problem visitors.

One hard and fast rule for outside trainers - they are there to work with a specific horse or person. If they can't handle that - they can work out of someone else's barn.
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post #82 of 145 Old 03-21-2013, 01:10 PM
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Give that lady an earful! I'm very non-confrontational as well, but if my horse refused to take the bit without a treat after she "showed me how to bridle", I would be yelling at her. And swearing. That is completely unacceptable. Tell her off next time you see her, be brave. At this point she is negatively affecting your horse and that is NOT ok, even if she gets mad, do you really care if a person like that likes you? I wouldn't. After that, if she ever offers any more unsolicited advice, ignore her. Give her the cold shoulder. If she says "Let me show you how to ____", cut her off and say "thanks I'm good" or "no thanks" and just walk away.
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post #83 of 145 Old 03-21-2013, 08:46 PM
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Whenever someone tries to "teach" me something idiotic, my response is usually to babble, babble, babble! That scares them off.

On a side note, Parker LOVES to be patted. And scratched. And rubbed. He just generally loves contact

. . . Except when he tried to cow kick with his hind/paw at me with his front (yeah, I don't know he didn't fall down) at the same time. He is now a born-again Christian LOL.

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intelligent. The best of any breed is the Thoroughbred horse, the best
of that breed is better than any other breed." - George Morris
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post #84 of 145 Old 03-21-2013, 09:18 PM
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xliionesss, I have to agree with the other 100's of suggestions- (and I am a very mild-mannered person) do not let this go on for another day!, The very next time she comes and does this, tell her, "Thankyou for taking such an extreme interest in my horse, but I'm all set and quite sure you have a very busy schedule!" Then talk to your BO the very 1st chance you get - this gal is borderline wacky, and getting her kicks out of bullying others. Tell the BO she may lose your business as the the situation is worsening. You deserve better. "Just Do It!" Best of luck :)
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post #85 of 145 Old 03-21-2013, 11:27 PM
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xlionesss I agree with everyone who said you need to speak up. I'm usually the shy, non-confrontational type myself, but I had someone try and tell me how to work with my boy and I pretty much told them to shove it. I know my horse and what is best for him and I'm positive you know your boy and what is best for him. I don't think there is anything worse than trying to spend time with your horse and feeling like you are being judged by someone who "thinks" they know it all. She needs to back off!
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post #86 of 145 Old 03-21-2013, 11:56 PM
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Originally Posted by jaydee View Post
If a horse is afraid of your 'patting' then it means you're doing something wrong - presenting a threatening attitude rather than a rewarding one so that sort of says something about that Parelli persons
Yes, it may well But having had a bit of an education with Parelli(albeit not for close to 20 years, so not sure about the 'modern, new fangled' ideas I hear from them...) the principle behind not patting(maybe he should have changed his name with that principle??) is just that horses, cats, women.... etc don't (generally) find it pleasant. Therefore it is not (generally) a positive reinforcement, therefore don't use it as one.

I agree fully with that principle, have found that horses don't tend to like being smacked/patted, but as with all principles, as I remember one of PP's sayings was something like; 'never say never, usually say usually' - in other words, there are always exceptions & if's & buts to any 'rules'.
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post #87 of 145 Old 03-22-2013, 03:00 AM
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Originally Posted by loosie View Post
) is just that horses, cats, women.... etc don't (generally) find it pleasant. Therefore it is not (generally) a positive reinforcement, therefore don't use it as one.

I agree fully with that principle, have found that horses don't tend to like being smacked/patted, but as with all principles, as I remember one of PP's sayings was something like; 'never say never, usually say usually' - in other words, there are always exceptions & if's & buts to any 'rules'.
IDK, I tend to like a little pat on the butt from my hubby, lol...

Anyway, I agree that this lady is a bully. Just bc you do it different doesnt make it wrong. I have a 16yr old in my neighborhood just like her. But I decided to just smile and be nice, then start callingher out on stuff in a polite manner, lol.... Pretty much ANY horse she finds is gaited. Apparently she thinks if they stick their tails out or rides smooth it means they are gaited.... So I just straight out asked her what kind of gait he had, and she said IDK you'll have to ask the owner. BUT the owner had said she doesnt know! I'll wait and find more instances, lol.... Maybe it's starting to sink in to her. Bc I'm no the only one that has questioned her. BUT anyway....

if this lady is a narcissist, you wont get anywhere. So all I'd say is "I dont have a problem with my horse. We've done it this way for X many years, and he doesnt mind, I've never had any problems with him, so I am not going to worry about it, and stick to what I've always done."
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post #88 of 145 Old 03-30-2013, 05:48 PM
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I have one that mugs for attention. He'd be happy if I patted him all day long, as long as I was paying attention to him. Now the other horse is just the opposite. If I patted him he'd step away. Ok, guess who's going to get lots of patting. Whether or not he likes it, it's a form of desensitising. I'll pat him with both hands, all over until he drops his head. Then I'll quit.
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post #89 of 145 Old 03-30-2013, 07:15 PM
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Yes, my horse wasn't the only one irritated yesterday when I was riding & a tourist marched up saying how she loooves horses & started smacking him on the face! Glad he's desensitised to it, so he put up with it while I said 'don't smack my horse please' - the look of confusion & shock on their faces when you say that to people - it's never occurred to them that the horse may not enjoy their 'affections'!
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post #90 of 145 Old 03-30-2013, 07:33 PM
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When the tourist finished you should have smacked them in the face a few times saying “well aren't you a nice tourist to happily smack away on my horse's face”.
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