Advice please - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 21 Old 06-09-2013, 10:28 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
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Red face Advice please

HIi, i would like advice on gaining the trust of my horse. I bought a horse a few weeks ago and i would like to know how i can build a bond with her. She has not had a very good start to life and from the information i have been given she was bread by the gypys's and then dumped she was in a bad way. I am her 5th home since January. She has a lovely nature and when i ride her she is starting to be abit of a pain. I have owed horses before however came out of it and lost all my confidence when riding. So if anyone can help with with tips to get my confidence back and controling her and to gain her trust and bond with her the help with be very much appreciated.
Thank you for you time SamAM
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post #2 of 21 Old 06-09-2013, 11:01 AM
Join Date: Mar 2013
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If you are looking to develop a closer bond with your horse look in Cynthia Royal's methods. I can tell you first hand that it works. I have used her method with my yearling and it has really changed our relationship. I don't even have to halter him anymore. He comes running to me whenever I ask. And if he was big enough I could probably even ride him bareback with no problem. Its really simple and easy to follow. All of the things she does with her horses are possible with any horse

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post #3 of 21 Old 06-09-2013, 11:04 AM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Mississippi
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I don't own a horse yet but is taking lessons. But here is my 2 cents.

Your horse is reading you, picking up on your emotions and lack of confidence. Maybe getting a trainer or someone that knows horses will help you. Have them ride your horse and see what she knows. She may have had good training and your cues are unclear and she don't know what you're asking for. A knowledgeable person can watch you ride and point out what you are doing wrong.

Someone will be along to give your much more insight than I can. I've learned a lot from the people here. If you don't understand the advice that they're giving you always ask them to explain. They're always willing to help even if they have to ask you questions to really understand what you want.
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post #4 of 21 Old 06-09-2013, 03:40 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
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thank you for your replyies. i currently take lessons once a week. i have friend that have owned horses for year and i spoke to them this afternoon, they think she is testing me as she belives that i am just going to give her away like so many have done to her in the past and that she doesnt have much trust. and trackstar i will look into the methods that you have suggested. anymore tips and advice would be gratly appreciated :)

Thank you SamAM
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post #5 of 21 Old 06-09-2013, 04:09 PM
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She is testing you and if your friends believe it is because she thinks she is going to be given away then they do not know much about horses!

She is testing you because she can and has not been corrected for unwanted behaviour.

Read this thread.
Understanding the Importance of Manners
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post #6 of 21 Old 06-09-2013, 05:26 PM Thread Starter
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i have tryed to correct her in her bad behaviour when riding her, but i found today the walking her around the arena before getting on her she is much calmer and doesnt misbehave has much. also today when i rode her she was much calmer then normal as she had just come off the field. may main problem is getting her to trust me and build a bond with her.

Thank you SamAM
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post #7 of 21 Old 06-09-2013, 06:21 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
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Sometimes it helps to think of your new partnership as being between you and a new friend who doesn't speak your language. Time and patience is the key. She has had lots of homes and lots of different languages to try and grasp.
Ground work is essential and skipping it or going too fast will leave the both of you frustrated. She needs to learn not only your verbal cues but your body language as well. It may help to keep a journal of what you are currently working on. Keep it simple with 4-5 basic things and work on these every day for a month. (I actually have them on a 3x5 notecard that I keep in my back pocket as I work with my horse). Remember- you may be bored with it, but it's new to her. They are building blocks, so she will need to understand them completely, respond quickly-quietly & consistently before you can move on to other things. Do them in the arena, in the field, every place you can think of. If you get stuck just get creative and try to "explain" it to her another way. This will help you understand how she learns best.

Another great tool to help you get started is to determine her personality (see
"The Right Brain Extrovert needs safety. Never push him past the threshold until he's calm. You will need to retreat and to interrupt the pattern. You must have a strong focus and must match the horse's high energy level. Give him a job to accomplish to replace his fear with something positive. He must think of you as his "safe place."

The Right Brain Introvert needs comfort. The worst thing you can do is push this horse before he's confident. You'll ruin his trust in you if you push him before he's ready. Taking your time is important because you'll need to wait on this horse to process things. He needs to believe in you.

The Left Brain Extrovert needs play. He craves creative, imaginative tasks and can't stand to be forced into anything. Because he hates to be bored, you'll need to speed things up, be enthusiastic and come up with variety in your lessons.

The Left Brain Introvert needs incentive. There are plenty of ways to offer incentive without "bribing" him. (Think rest, grazing, treats, scratches.) This horse needs to have a purpose and wants to go somewhere. Riding circles in an area with this horse will lead to resistance and defiance. Use reverse psychology for best results."

*although I'm not a "fan" of Parelli, this tool really does work!

Good luck and let us know how things are going!!
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post #8 of 21 Old 06-09-2013, 06:30 PM
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Horses trust & respect fair herd leaders. The best rider and horse handler is one who has the trust & respect of their mounts. So learn to be a better rider and better handler, if that means taking lessons (I still do and I have been riding/competing over 4 decades), do it.
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post #9 of 21 Old 06-09-2013, 07:26 PM Thread Starter
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thank you for your tips. Today I walked her a few yards with out me holding her in any way, she just followed me her head next to me all the time tho, I know a few yards is nothing but its a start.
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post #10 of 21 Old 06-10-2013, 01:28 AM
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You will not get a good bond unless you do set the boundaries on the ground. These need to be tight to start and as the horse understands so those boundaries widen.

Horses following is not necessarily trust. Not something I would try at this stage unless proper Join Up had been achieved.
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