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Building up more confidence... Any advice?

This is a discussion on Building up more confidence... Any advice? within the New to Horses forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        10-22-2013, 08:41 PM
      #11
    Started
    Your teacher is negligent! You needed instruction in how to halter & lead & control a horse & the more advanced groundwork first!

    Surely that's clear to you at this point, yet still unclear to your teacher, because he/she endangered your welfare & the horse's welfare by not starting at the beginning with you, & then when she had to rescue you & horse from whatever WOULD have happened, she STILL didn't get herself on track & revise her "teaching" program for you & horse!

    You must discuss what's happened with your parents, they must understand that this "instructor" has been negligent, & then it's their call to decide whether to discuss with "instructor" or find you another teacher who'll keep you & horses safe.

    "Instructor" also has given you no help with handling fear, it seems no horse psychology/info on "reading" the horse's intentions/thoughts/moods before the horse takes a particular course of action. For example, you should've been taught to see the mare's idea well in advance of her taking over leadership to the point that she left, so that you could've maintained control of her.

    Both you & mare are fortunate that you weren't hurt or worse.

    Good luck!
         
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        10-22-2013, 10:34 PM
      #12
    Green Broke
    It sounds to me like you are quite a confident rider but it disappears when working on the ground with horses? Think of it this way; how does a rider gain confidence? By riding more. Is it possible for you to spend more time around horses on the ground? Tacking up, grooming, etc. Does your barn have a groom or a stablehand that you are able to follow around in a supervised situation and learn from? That way you are not being left alone with these horses and can also learn the 'correct' methods along the way. I think that your instructor should have correctly taught you how to deal with potential situations and horse 'control' before leaving you alone with one; although she was only around the corner. Children and horses are like 'babies', anything can happen in an instant.

    I'd really tell your instructor how you are feeling; how nervous you are. It would greatly benefit you, the horse AND your instructor. Horses read from our body language and if you are feeling nervous, as will she. I think it would be best if you could maybe do the ground components of your lesson with a horse who is more 'ground-safe' and isn't going to try and run off with you. If your instructor is not willing to listen to how you are feeling or work on it - I would suggest looking into finding an instructor who IS. It sounds to me like you are afraid of you or the horse getting hurt; with good reason! You have the right instincts. Don't be discouraged easily; it sounds to me like you really do love horses and riding. You just need time to overcome these obstacles - we all face them at several points in our riding journey. Don't be afraid to speak up about how you are feeling, maybe your instructor doesn't know how 'incapable' you feel?
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