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Confidence back to 0....think I will give up my dream.

This is a discussion on Confidence back to 0....think I will give up my dream. within the New to Horses forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        09-03-2013, 07:23 AM
      #31
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by kiwi79    
    Sorry to hear that you are struggling with your confidence and it sounds like lessons would be a really good start.
    I am similar in that I got back into riding and have had a hard time controlling my fears despite having an older well-broke horse who for the most part is pretty well behaved. Some days I have rides that make me think of throwing in the towel but then I will have rides where I can see glimpses of the confident teen rider I used to be.
    For instance yesterday I had a very exhausting ride where my horse threw a number of tantrums including suddenly dropping for a roll with me on his back

    We then went through a fit of side-stepping and little rears when I wouldn't let him catch up with his mates. I managed to over-come the urge to jump off and lead him and felt really proud of myself for staying on.
    Definitely don't push yourself and only do what you feel comfortable, I find reminding myself that it is meant to be FUN and that if I do decide to stop riding it wont be the end of the world helps put things in perspective. I always end up coming back to the fact that although I don't always love riding I love having horses in my life.
    Good luck!
    Thank you Kiwi! You summed it up best by saying although I don't always love riding I love having horses in my life. I may be terrified right now, but it too shall pass. I work in a psych ward as an RN and deal with difficult and dangerous situations every day. There are days I get afraid but I still pull up my big girl panties and do it again the next day. I will be taking lessons shortly and I'm not ready to give up on her yet.
         
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        09-03-2013, 09:40 AM
      #32
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by IowaPsychRN    
    I work with her everyday on the ground moving back, forward, yielding hindquarters, neck flexion,etc. She has never been pushy towards me and has been wonderful up until the other night. I am not afraid or anxious when I am around her on the ground. The reason I haven't taken lessons yet is because I thought it would all come back to me from when I rode daily as a teenager. I now know that is not the case. Thank you everyone for your advice!
    I felt the same way when I got back into horses. I thought it would all just come back to me and it did to a point. I still had a pretty good seat, but my body wasn't as flexible, and my reaction time slower.
    Years later I still have scary moments, and am still learning. I feel more in control now though. I know my horses and am confident in most situations, but that only came with time and lots of riding.
    SammysMom likes this.
         
        09-03-2013, 10:14 PM
      #33
    Started
    I know what you mean, about losing confidence. I'm an experienced rider and horse-owner and just last year had a fall with my gelding. I've fallen with my mare, and it hasn't bothered me much, but that one fall with my gelding shook my confidence so badly that I still feel anxious when I ride him, and due to not having a saddle that fits him, I've only ridden him a handful of times since last February.

    Just start off again slow, grooming, etc... and slowly work up to riding again. Do what you feel comfy with and don't try to go over that comfort zone until you think you're ready.
    Celeste likes this.
         
        09-03-2013, 10:21 PM
      #34
    Trained
    I was totally confident at the age of 12. Nothing scared me. I also fell off on a regular basis. I am not as confident now; however, I am not as stupid. There is no way that I would do some of the things that I did as a kid because they are dangerous.

    Courage is not lack of fear. Stupidity is lack of fear. Courage is keeping on keeping on even when you are a bit afraid. If you keep on trying, and work with a trainer, things should get better.
         
        09-03-2013, 10:25 PM
      #35
    Foal
    I agree with everyone else regarding lessons. I rode as a young girl, but never had any lessons of any kind. I am living my dream of having my own horse again and because I had leased a horse and was bucked off resulting in a major injury I decided to start from scratch. Ground work is essential for you and your horse. Ground work before you ride can give you the foresight into how your horse is reacting to things, helps you read them better. Lessons can help you ride through the "horse monster" and give you the skills needed and the confidence to ride through the spook.
         
        09-04-2013, 03:03 PM
      #36
    Foal
    I start lessons on Tuesday! I am looking forward to going back to square one and developing my skills. Starting off on lesson horse, then she is going to work with Cinna and then both of us together.
         
        09-04-2013, 03:44 PM
      #37
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by IowaPsychRN    
    I start lessons on Tuesday! I am looking forward to going back to square one and developing my skills. Starting off on lesson horse, then she is going to work with Cinna and then both of us together.
    That sounds like an excellent plan.
         
        09-05-2013, 06:24 AM
      #38
    Weanling
    That's great! Let us know how it goes
         
        09-05-2013, 12:40 PM
      #39
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by IowaPsychRN    
    I start lessons on Tuesday! I am looking forward to going back to square one and developing my skills. Starting off on lesson horse, then she is going to work with Cinna and then both of us together.
    Excellent. And might also suggest if it is okay with who you are taking lessons from that you also do some grooming and leading with any other horses there.

    Sort of like volunteer groom? Under supervision so that your handling skills and body movements are monitored for effectiveness. That will get you more in tune with what is going on, and get you over your fear/caution faster too. As well as the enormous difference between horses, you will see quickly that there are core actions that are so important in handling any horse. And attitudes too.

    One thing working tremendously in your favor is your career, if you are working with psych patients one on one, rather than head of unit? You are very used to the atmosphere, and reading what is going on by body language alone.

    And also aware of your own body movements too.

    Excellent background for working with horses right there.

    One of the hardest things to teach, IF it can be taught, is that very ability.

    To READ a horse. In fact, most horsepeople I know saw if it is not bred in the blood, you can not teach it. I lean towards that myself.

    Use every one of those skills/inner core of that with the horses you work with.
         
        09-05-2013, 12:50 PM
      #40
    Green Broke
    You can get over whatever you want to. It all depends on how much you want it, and if its worth it to you.

    The fact is, horses are large prey animals. They have minds of their own, and they react, sometimes violently. You will fall off. You and/or your horse will have bad days. Don't let it destroy your confidence, just take each day in stride and celebrate the small victories.
         

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