I am going to begin by taking lessons. My mare is well broke but I think she was feeding off the other horse when it spooked. It was getting dark out and some kids decided to flash around a flashlight and beat on a fence with stick. I know problem cannot be solved online....I just need some reassurance that maybe I can get over this.
You are just making excuses for your badly behaved horse. A good beginner's horse is phased by any of this, and I work my two 7yo geldings in these conditions to get them over any fears. I pulled burrs the other night in the pitchy dark just so that they knew I could do that, too.
Lessons on GOOD, solid school horses will teach you what to expect from your horse. That's how I learned and it has stuck with me 40 years later. I suggest that you sell your green horse, and save up to buy a reliably broken beginner horse. People think when they read threads on forums like this that they can afford an inexpensive horse and enjoy the experience. Just bc someone here talks about spending and fixing a horse with problems doesn't mean that a course or a method or a book has taught them how.
Most of us who have owned for a long time--I have owned/trained horses for 28 years--have had good experiences early on and built our training knowledge through many horses. My DH and I have owned ~35 horses over the years, and I pick mine more wisely now that I am in my 50's.
You will think it a scam for me to say that many people here sell good, reliable horses. I am not one of them, but I recognize by pictures and videos who has a good beginner horse for sale, and who is selling a green horse with a good foundation and good attitude. YOU DO NOT WANT TO BUY GREEN AGAIN!
I have said this before but you need to find trainers to find your next horse. You are looking for the horse that has been shown a lot, but doesn't measure up to the owner's current expectations. Reasons to buy can be:
1) too short/tall
2) wrong color
3) wrong breed for the sport
4) not fast enough
5) can't jump/race/spin well enough
Do NOT ever buy a horse that is listed "For Experienced Riders" bc the owner couldn't control their horse and is trying to keep someone like you from purchasing and getting hurt.
Find out how much an ER visit and extended hospital visit are these days, and factor that into the $cost.