Confidence back to 0....think I will give up my dream. - Page 8

       The Horse Forum > Keeping and Caring for Horses > New to Horses

Confidence back to 0....think I will give up my dream.

This is a discussion on Confidence back to 0....think I will give up my dream. within the New to Horses forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

    Like Tree191Likes

    LinkBack Thread Tools
        10-08-2013, 02:23 AM
    Originally Posted by IowaPsychRN    
    I bought an 8yo MFT 5 weeks ago......... My horse spooked and was spinning around. I was terrified! What little confidence I had is gone. I was able to stay on her, but the thought of this happening again is enough to make me not want to ride again. This is my second horse since Nov. I feel like a wimp and failure!!
    Well, first, congratulations on your new horse! He's a real beauty and if the photos are any indication, he looks to have a nice demeanor....

    I would recommend that rather than allowing yourself to dwell on the fear you felt during the spook, the "take home" from this event should be that YOU STAYED ON! You rode out the spook, you did NOT fall off, and you were not hurt! Those are big things....

    Instead of feeling that a spook event is bound to lead to some kind of doom, concentrate on the fact that you stayed on and rode it out! You did well! Depending on how you look at it, what happened could be a confidence builder rather than a confidence breaker... Part of having "confidence" is having the feeling that you will probably be able to ride out whatever happens! You've already done it once!

    With all that was going on at the time, a spook is not unexpected....

    There are many things that you can do to improve your confidence and your ability to be relaxed and comfortable in the saddle. One of the most effective things that I have found to help me keep my seat is just to pay attention! Sure, I fell off while doing all sorts of things when I was young, but as an adult, literally every time I've fallen off, I would have stayed in the saddle if I had been paying proper attention.

    Keeping a close eye on "where your horse's attention is" is also important. If he's looking off to the left side of the trail, then maybe you should be looking out there to see what's got his interest. Things will go better if you can see a potential spook before he does!

    Another thing that I do when trail riding is to catch a hold of the swell of the saddle when I turn around to talk to someone behind me. Kinda like hand-checking: if something happens while I'm not looking I'm already connected to something that I can hold onto while I get back in position.

    When you mount up or dismount, keep alert to the fact that you're in a "less-secure" position for a short period of time and be very "tuned in" to your horse during this time and have in mind what you'll do if there's a spook. As Pasteur said, "Chance favors the prepared mind" and if you're ready to react, you're a lot more likely to avoid a problem.

    I realize that none of these connect directly with the spook event you experienced, but my point is that the more "tools" you have in your "riding tool box", the more confident you will probably be about riding in general.

    Sort of like they say about real estate (location, location and location), confidence in riding is build up significantly through (1) time in the saddle, (2) time in the saddle and (3) time in the saddle! There's just no substitute for it. Things become automatic and second-nature. You'll experience incremental victories over various things. First, an overall improvement in feeling calm and relaxed in the saddle in general. Then, one day, you'll realize that something that had made you very nervous initially (loping, for example) has become totally enjoyable and lots of fun! I'll never forget the first time I ever rode a horse at full speed, totally stretched out going across the pasture, without thinking about the process at all. Literally, halfway across the pasture it occurred to me that I was only having fun, not worrying about staying on or anything else. It was a really cool realization that I'll never forget, even though it was 49 years ago!

    Another facet of it all is this: the more time you spend with your horse, both riding and doing other things as well, the more you and Cloud will learn about each other. At the same time you learn what is liable to startle or spook him, he will be learning that the sources of these spooks are not dangerous after all! These two changing factors will merge in a very good place. You and your horse will most likely wind up with a deep bond and that is the most rewarding, valuable part of the whole thing to me.

    Sorry for getting long-winded.... I just want to convey that you did very well in riding the spook event out and I hope you do NOT quit! I can not express how much fun I have riding, handling and just being around our horses. I hope you wind up feeling the same way!

    smrobs, corgi, Corporal and 3 others like this.
    Sponsored Links
        10-08-2013, 09:17 AM
    Radiowaves, I would like to click "like" on your post 100 times. Very well said!
    Corporal likes this.
        10-09-2013, 03:35 AM
    Originally Posted by Celeste    
    Radiowaves, I would like to click "like" on your post 100 times. Very well said!
    Thank you so much Celeste! I really appreciate the kind words...
        10-09-2013, 09:17 AM
    Cute horse and great name! Best of luck!
        10-09-2013, 01:30 PM
    My mare is super broke and sometimes we just have an off day where even things we see every day are scary. I go on a trail almost once a week and just a few weeks ago my mare decided to rear, spin, and take off repeatedly. The next time out I was definitely a bit hesitant, but we did it!
    You'll be able to get over it!! If you're really worried about her spooking then don't ride her with other horses and just ride alone, even if it's just at the walk.
    If it's possible, take lessons on your mare or maybe just have a ground person there. I know that that's something I like if I'm riding a horse I'm a bit nervous about riding.
    Corporal likes this.
        10-09-2013, 06:06 PM
    Horses tend to mimic one another so when one spooks, the others will follow. I agree with the other people who commented. You need to find a reputable trainer who can help you regain your confidence and advise you about how to handle your horse. Every horse is different. It's very important that you have a reliable,calm, horse.
        10-10-2013, 08:31 PM
    I agree that more training and work with you and your horse is a must!
        10-14-2013, 10:09 PM
    I sold my mare last week. I also rode Cloud the other day! It was only for a few minutes and in a small paddock, but its a start! My husband rode him first and that helped with my nerves. I am still taking lessons, but have been working on doing groundwork. Thank you Radiowaves for your awesome advice and thank you to everyone who has been cheering me on!
    smrobs and Hidalgo13 like this.
        10-15-2013, 12:01 AM
    Originally Posted by IowaPsychRN    
    I sold my mare last week. I also rode Cloud the other day! It was only for a few minutes and in a small paddock, but its a start! My husband rode him first and that helped with my nerves. I am still taking lessons, but have been working on doing groundwork. Thank you Radiowaves for your awesome advice and thank you to everyone who has been cheering me on!
    You are a kind soul, IowaPhychRN, and I really appreciate the kind words....

    I'm just glad you're moving forward! And you are right: you've had a fine start with Cloud! Taking lessons and working on groundwork are both really good ideas. The more you and Cloud are together doing ANYthing the more you'll learn about each other and that's a good thing.

    I really hope that you and Cloud turn out to be just right for each other and form a deep/strong bond. Please keep us posted on your progress! And have a good time going through the process...

        10-15-2013, 12:57 AM
    I'm sorry to hear that the mare didn't work out for you.

    Quick Reply
    Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.

    Register Now

    In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

    Already have a Horse Forum account?
    Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

    New to the Horse Forum?
    Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

    User Name:
    Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
    Confirm Password:
    Email Address
    Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
    Email Address:


    Human Verification

    In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

    Old Thread Warning
    This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

    Thread Tools

    Similar Threads
    Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
    I just want my confidence back!! flyingchange1991 Horse Riding 13 10-25-2013 04:07 PM
    How to give a horse more confidence in the saddle? BelgianDraftLover44 Natural Horsemanship 4 07-24-2013 03:02 PM
    No money but can't give up my dream. itsdennys Horse Training 9 11-08-2011 12:04 AM
    How to give a horse confidence? AllThePrettyHorses Horse Training 22 05-24-2011 12:03 PM
    How do you give a young rider confidence? horsplay Horse Training 23 01-30-2011 10:25 AM

    All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:03 PM.

    Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
    Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
    Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0