confidence low....can't control a horse as good as my kids even.... - Page 2
 
 

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confidence low....can't control a horse as good as my kids even....

This is a discussion on confidence low....can't control a horse as good as my kids even.... within the New to Horses forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        10-14-2013, 04:09 AM
      #11
    Foal
    I agree with all the other suggestions. I would also add that you may want to invest in a few counseling sessions for you with an counselor that does EMDR. Boy that got me past a lot of debillating fear I felt after a car accident. Since the fear and anxiety seems to be the problem try this in addition to all the other suggests
         
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        10-14-2013, 04:43 AM
      #12
    Green Broke
    If your scared then you can guess he's scared too. So when the others go off and leave him alone, he doesn't feel safe.

    As others have said, practice in the arena. Practice walk, trot and cantering even if you only want to walk on trails. If you can't ride the canter you're not going to be able to control him if he tries to canter.

    Start doing ground work so he looks to you as a leader. Once you're confident in yourself he'll be more confident in you.
         
        10-14-2013, 09:07 AM
      #13
    Green Broke
    Can you take private trail lessons with your trainer? Or ride your trainers horse and she ride yours?

    Your 8 year old has a smart mouth on her, and it can be upsetting. But don't feel disheartened.

    After a series of accidents, I am an arena rider. I have found a horse to loan after no longer owning my own, and have hacked him and ridden him outdoors.. albeit I was a nervous wreck but the owners were so lovely!

    Please, please do not ride out with ignorant people who want to go fast and will leave you in the dirt. It is dangerous, and I am shocked people would do this.

    All in time, fear doesn't stop over night, and you have a lovely boy who will get you through it!

    Chin up, and think positive about your riding. I always think, it doesn't matter what I look like, or what others look like... if you are willing to learn and do something to help yourself, that is what counts!

    Best of luck
    nikelodeon79 likes this.
         
        10-14-2013, 10:48 AM
      #14
    Trained
    I saw an interview about a year ago of a guy who did bit parts in hundreds of western TV shows. He said the one person he saw killed while riding was in a scene where the posse was supposed to take off after the bad guys. Outside of the camera's view, there was a guy watching who would give a signal to let them know everyone was mounted up and it was safe to race off. But a mistake was made, and one guy had one foot in the stirrups when the 'posse' raced out. His horse raced off too, and he was dragged and killed!
         
        10-14-2013, 10:51 AM
      #15
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by bsms    
    I saw an interview about a year ago of a guy who did bit parts in hundreds of western TV shows. He said the one person he saw killed while riding was in a scene where the posse was supposed to take off after the bad guys. Outside of the camera's view, there was a guy watching who would give a signal to let them know everyone was mounted up and it was safe to race off. But a mistake was made, and one guy had one foot in the stirrups when the 'posse' raced out. His horse raced off too, and he was dragged and killed!

    Although we have to be realistic that riding horses is not all fairy farts and magic dust.. I don't think that is the confidence builder that the OP needs to read
    nikelodeon79 and DimSum like this.
         
        10-14-2013, 10:59 AM
      #16
    Weanling
    There have been many times when I end up riding alone because others like to lope on the trails. Not a good idea, it almost always equals disaster when you have horses and riders of different skill levels.
    Mochachino likes this.
         
        10-14-2013, 11:17 AM
      #17
    Green Broke
    Don't be so hard on yourself!!

    You are learning. There are going to be good days, and bad days.

    Kids are fearless. They are going to be relaxed on the horse and going mach 90. Adults are smart and know what could possibly happen if they go mach 90; so they don't.

    Don't be humiliated that your trainer ponied you on your horse. You are learning!! And if anyone puts you down for that, or looks down upon you for that, then they are not your friend and you don't need to be around them anyway. A horse is a powerful 1,000+ pound animal with a mind of its own. If you are not ready to do something, don't do it until you are. If that means you have to be ponied on the horse, that's okay. You've got to start somewhere.

    I would absolutely find a new group of people to ride with. I could never lope off and leave someone behind who is struggling with their horse. How horrid of them.

    Continue to work with your trainer as often as you can, and take it one day at a time.

    Every day is a new day. Go out to the barn with positive strong thoughts in your mind. Practice breathing exercises and relaxing exercises when you are warming up your horse. Develop a way to calm and relax yourself when you get into a nervous situation. If you are calm (as you already know) so will your horse.
    Dustbunny likes this.
         
        10-14-2013, 12:40 PM
      #18
    Started
    Lots of good comments!

    Find someone to ride with who is happy going at a pace that is comfortable for you. There is no shame in a nice walk! It's my preferred speed these days. Let's you enjoy the scenery, too.
         
        10-14-2013, 01:09 PM
      #19
    Foal
    Thanks for all the suggestions! I do already see a counslor who helps me with other issues related to life problems on occasion. She was the one who thoight that getting back into horses would help me with other issues.....

    I don't think my instructor knew how terrified I am...she was on the ride and it was her plan to have those that wanted to run go to another area so not to bother my horse...and one stay behind with me....this did not work well either time it was tried....she insists I am capeable of controling him. I may have the skills but not the ability.

    Most of the ride we were in wooded area and I was fine.....my horse always wants to be lead horse and he had plenty of opportunity then.....

    I don't have any desire to go running on trail...ever...
         
        10-14-2013, 10:45 PM
      #20
    Foal
    You are not alone! I have been in your shoes. I bet most of us have. Go back to basics. Get some nice riding time under your belt in the safety of an arena. When you decide to trail ride make sure you choose people that want to walk. When you are ready or if you are ready to trot, be the first horse. Take the lead. He will be much calmer setting the pace than following.
         

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