confidence low....can't control a horse as good as my kids even.... - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 25 Old 10-14-2013, 11:07 PM
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: South Range, WI
Posts: 1,925
• Horses: 8
I have no desire to go running on the trail, either. I didn't when I was young, and I don't now.

I am with those who said it's incredibly rude and dangerous of everyone to go running off. Even if one stays, your horse is going to want to go with the larger group.

My trainer tells me that I can handle my sensitive, powerful, green broke horse, but she also doesn't push me. Most of my rides on him have been just walks around the arena.

Please don't feel bad that your kids seem to be able to control him better than you. It's quite possible they haven't pushed him or tried to really tell him what to do... they may be just giving in and making it look like it was their idea.

It's also possible this horse is simply not used to adult riders, and it may take time for you to really "click" with him.

Good luck!
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post #22 of 25 Old 10-15-2013, 06:38 AM
Green Broke
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Missouri
Posts: 3,771
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In the first place, while some horses will not test an adult as much as they will a kid?

There are some who quite enjoy it. This is the one you have. Could also be that your weight is making him more uncomfortable as saddle may pinch more? Or you may be bumping bit if hands aren't steady.

Secondly, if you are nervous, you do not need to trail ride with a group that takes off when you are not comfortable. Good way to get hurt.

Go with a friend or two, that will stay at your pace.

And get tougher with horse too.

But still check out how saddle fits with adult, but the main thing is be more in control of whole situation, from refusing to go out with large groups or people that will not stay with you.

And in getting horse under control, which will happen best by more riding, and also making sure horse isn't getting away with murder at any time, including on the ground.

Horses make me a better person.
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post #23 of 25 Old 10-16-2013, 12:33 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Camden, AR
Posts: 491
• Horses: 2
I know you've already heard this, but stop being so hard on yourself about this. Just let your instructor know that you are not ready for trail riding yet, and for now you would like to stay in the arena. Just until you feel a more relaxed and comfortable on the horse. You should be able to walk, trot, and canter in the arena without feeling that you are losing control before you attempt to go out on the trails with anyone. And when you do go out on the trails, at first it needs to be with people that are considerate of your experience level, friends that will walk until you are ready to trot or whatever else. When you do feel ready for trail riding again, try to push yourself a little out of your comfort zone, by trotting a few steps, and build gradually on that.

There is nothing wrong with starting slow, especially since you have a particularly nasty incident in your past. That in and of itself would stop a lot of people from ever trying again. My mother had a childhood riding accident that broke her arm, as a result she is terrified of horses. She will only pet one if it will stand absolutely statue still. So see, you are doing really, really well. Just keep trying, and let your instructor know how you feel about doing what it is that they ask of you. If you are really scared, tell her. If it only makes you a tiny bit uncomfortable, try it. You have to keep pushing your comfort zone to get just a little bit bigger.

As for the kids doing better. Being as this has been a kids horse for years, it is likely used to the antics of children, and behaving properly. I once had a barrel horse, and a good one too, that was a handful for adults, but one of the best baby sitters in the state. I could literally come out from running barrels, and but a little kid on him, and he would plod off and never take a side ways step. The kid could even ride him into the alleyway and walk or trot barrels on him. He loved kids and would never do anything to upset one, he would cart them around for however long they wanted to keep riding. He never offered to misbehave with a kid on his back, but was always testing older people. Basically to ride him you either had to be a little kid (less than 10 years old) or very experienced, go figure.

Keep trying and stay safe.
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post #24 of 25 Old 10-19-2013, 11:22 PM
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Western Massachusetts
Posts: 330
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First off, kids are just naturally more confident and fearless. We have kids at our barn that canter with ease, where as I am still scared to death of it. I JUST got trotting down. It took me two whole months!!! I have only cantered a handful of times, but every time I was petrified. My trainer always says "kids are easy to teach, it's the adults that take the most work." Adults are afraid to fall, because we don't bounce back as easily. As I kid I did the stupidest things on horseback, and fell more times than I can count. I just got back into it after an 8 year break. As a kid I was fearless, as an adult I am fearful! I broke a wrist and had a hip dislocated from riding when I was younger, I still remember that!
I always say, "I'm not afraid to ride, I'm afraid to fall." But I do notice that when my confidence is higher, I ride better. So just get out of your head a little and enjoy your ride, and NEVER be too hard on yourself! It speaks volumes that you are even willing to try after such a traumatic experience.
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post #25 of 25 Old 10-20-2013, 08:24 PM
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
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I am there with you. My first pony was a former barrel racer. I was about 9 or 10 during a riding lesson when my teacher told us to canter. My pony took off at a hard Gallup and wouldn't stop! I pulled on the reins until my hands were bleeding, still didn't stop. Everyone told me it was me doing something wrong. Finally, my teacher got on the pony, and I was vindicated. The pony would not stop. Finally had to move her to a bossel instead of a bit. But I was scared, I never got the canter, and I stopped riding.
Now my daughter rides. She's 6 and she can canter, takes the horse on trails, through water, over logs. I'm proud and I think that just the fact that you are riding after a spill like that is something to be commended. It shows real courage, and you should hold your head high. Trust is built over time, take it slow, and you'll get there. I hope to do the same soon.
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