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Grumpy Horse Please Help!

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  • Grumpy horse doesn't like anyone!

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    08-06-2013, 08:52 PM
  #11
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylastacy12    
What can I do to show her I'm the leader without making her hate me?
Posted via Mobile Device
be firm and discipline her...my head mare is a real piece of work!!!!! I can't stand her! Lol
She vwry aggressively defends her position....but fairly. She warns the other horses to respect her space/food/whatever with body language, and the second they don't listen, out come the teeth to bite!

You know what? The othwr horses don't hate her. They follow her lead. When she spooked at fireworks the othwr night, the herd followed...they didnt stop to ask "whats up?", or "why?", they just moved.

I think Im a decent owner....all my pets, except the head mare actively seem to like me (she strongly prefers men). That being said, if I pull a horse out for what? 30 minites of "work", disrupting their 23.5 hour a day/7day a week vacation....I don't give a crap what MOOD the mare is in, she can just suck it up and respect/obey me for half an hour. Its not asking much...

As long as you are fair, you won't have any problems. Let all reactions be appropriate.
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    08-06-2013, 09:19 PM
  #12
Weanling
Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed Racer    
Stop with the, 'I don't want her to hate me' stuff. What you want from a horse is RESPECT first and foremost. Without respect, affection is completely useless.

She's a horse, not a human being. She's not going to 'hate' you if you discipline her and show her that her place in the herd hierarchy is under you. In fact, that will put her mind at ease because she'll know her place and won't have to guess at it.
Speed Racer, You nailed it!!! I wish I could like is commit twice.

OP, you need to find videos of horses in the wild or in large herds. Try to understand, what you horse understand. In your horses eyes, what you think is "showing your horse love and understanding and respect" is seen by your horse as weakness, equality or submission. If you are ready to became a real horseman, then you need to learn to understand how to communicate with you horse in a language she will understand. Study, learn find videos on horse behavior look at how a horse controls and how they are controlled by other horses in the herd.

Horse herd are built on a picking order that picking order is not set through love and mutual respect for each other. The "golden rule" dose not exist in your horses mind. Horse herd picking orders are built on the most aggressive horse will get them most and all other horses will respect that horse because it is more aggressive then them. Its not always pretty and gum drops and rainbows. Some times it harsh. But, that is how your horse see its world, the most aggressive horse is the boss.

Now that doesn't mean being mean and beating your horse it really easy really, all you have to do is make you horse give up ground make her move away. That's it get her feet moving make life hard she will understand that if you are aggressive enough to make her move and keep her moving then you are more aggressive then her. Warning! She might not like this "new" you at first don't do what I just told you about with out something in your hand a lead rope, bucket, lunge whip, pitch fork handle or something that you can use to keep her away from you. She might push back at first don't give ground to her ever she always gives ground to you. Good luck
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    08-06-2013, 09:50 PM
  #13
Foal
Thanks everyone! I have gotten some really useful info here! I have been noticing that the more time I spend with her the sweeter she is
And she gets hateful if I have went a day without really spending time with her so maybe there are some trust issues there and she is trying to sulk since I haven't been there for her. I am going to try being more firm with her and also just spending more time with her to see if I can get her to bond with me. I want her to know she is loved and cared for but I also definitely want to be the boss and not the other way around! Also looking into the mare magic
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    08-06-2013, 10:07 PM
  #14
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylastacy12    
Thanks everyone! I have gotten some really useful info here! I have been noticing that the more time I spend with her the sweeter she is
And she gets hateful if I have went a day without really spending time with her so maybe there are some trust issues there and she is trying to sulk since I haven't been there for her. I am going to try being more firm with her and also just spending more time with her to see if I can get her to bond with me. I want her to know she is loved and cared for but I also definitely want to be the boss and not the other way around! Also looking into the mare magic
Posted via Mobile Device
Good luck. You're still not getting what is being said here....you can't assign people emotions! Its a thousand pound prey animal, not a yorkie! This whole bonding thing....smh.
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    08-06-2013, 10:12 PM
  #15
Showing
Hate isn't something a horse understands. The horse reacts to what it doesn't like or causes it pain. Horses do not sulk, they will hang their head when half asleep. You have got to stop using language that pertains to people and start switching it up to what pertains to horses. Skip the Mare Magic for now. She is testing you and her position in the little herd of two, you and her. Try taking her for a walk on the lead. Use a knotted halter and give her about 4' of lead line. Set up your demeanor as tho you are a soldier and walk like one and focus on something 100' away and start walking. Try not to look at her and under no circumstances do you pet her. Because you've given her 4' of lead, if something worries her she'll move around you instead of over top. If she does this, make her finish her circle and start walking, shoulders straight as tho nothing happened. Don't even talk to her. Talk is just noise to horses. Keep this up for a good 20 min. As you turn for home she may get ahead of you, just make her circle until she's where she should be. Be consistent and she'll begin to realize she may as well walk alongside and that you've taken over. In the herd the leader has the hardest job, always on the lookout for predators. Most horses don't want to be leaders, it's much easier to be a follower and keep and eye on the leader. But someone has to be leader and there's no way in hell I want a horse bossing me around. Do you? You want your horse to know it is loved and cared for Guess what - this doesn't register with a horse. It cares less who brings it's food as long as it arrives on time; same with care - a horse actually prefers to not be touched as it is a violation of it's personal space. If another horse did that it would quickly feel two hooves in it's ribs.
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    08-06-2013, 10:18 PM
  #16
Foal
When I walk her on her lead sometimes she does really well but sometimes she tries to get ahead of me and leans on me pushing me over etc. This is why I say she has "moods" she randomly changes how she acts towards me. If horses don't have moods then why does she act differently day to day???
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    08-06-2013, 10:29 PM
  #17
Green Broke
Watch a heard of horses. The herd leader will chase, bite and kick another horse HARD. Then you take the leader away and they are running, crying and screaming for them to come back. Very few horses want to be the leader but if there isn't one someone's going to step up.
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    08-06-2013, 10:37 PM
  #18
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylastacy12    
When I walk her on her lead sometimes she does really well but sometimes she tries to get ahead of me and leans on me pushing me over etc. This is why I say she has "moods" she randomly changes how she acts towards me. If horses don't have moods then why does she act differently day to day???
Posted via Mobile Device
Lol that isnt a mood! That's her bossing you! She thinks she is on charge and is making YOU move!

Again, making you or another horse MOVE is dominance!

Ets, Im no horse god, but if im out there they back off their hay for me. Im the one with the smarts 'round here, and they had better respect that! Your horse is teating you, and you're failing. :( that can be dangerous...
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    08-06-2013, 11:06 PM
  #19
Super Moderator
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaylastacy12    
When I walk her on her lead sometimes she does really well but sometimes she tries to get ahead of me and leans on me pushing me over etc. This is why I say she has "moods" she randomly changes how she acts towards me. If horses don't have moods then why does she act differently day to day???
Posted via Mobile Device

It may appear that at times she does what you want, and other times not, but this has more to do with the fact that when she seems to be doing what you want, it's really HER idea to do that anyway, and you are just not in her way. When it's not her idea to do what you want, then you ARE in her way.

The trick is to first make yourself so important to the horse that she will never see you as just an impediment, like scenery or furniture, but rather the most important thing in the picture and she'll keep you in her eye and mind, waiting to be directed, all the time.

The thing is that you might have to get kind of big, and maybe that will make her startled at first, when you start insisting that she "see" you . And if she acts scared for a sec, it's just her waking up to the fact that she is standing next to, yet ignoring, something that is so important she'd better pay attention to it.

ETA
Your horse does not resent your absense, or sulk. It's once again that you have become less IMPORTANT to her. You can be important by being the one who brings food, too. BUT, there again, if you just bring the food, and when she pushes you to "give it to me" , you give it to her, in her mind she MADE you give over somefood, just as she would if you were a lesser horse in the herd.
You pretend YOU are the leader, you set the food down, hang around it as if you are going to eat it, and use a whip or a long leadline swinging out at her, to make her wait, off a bit, until you have "eaten" your fill and then walk away as if you no longer have interest int hat food. Being able to move a horse off of their food, or control when they get it from you is a very good way to start creating the awareness in the hrose that YOU control things, not the other way around.
     
    08-06-2013, 11:31 PM
  #20
Showing
OP this horse is an animal that either trusts you or doesn't trust you. There is no love, there is no hate.

If a horse doesn't trust you then it walks into you, kicks out at you, bites you, runs from you, misbehaves. It does not sulk but it does prefer routine.

If a horse trusts you, then it also respects you. It wants to be around you, it doesn't try and hurt you, it will test you but will back off once you "win" the test.

Testing includes ugly faces, walking into you, not wanting to be caught, losing focus, etc.

It sounds like you are scared of her and you think she's a dog that will lick your face or snuggle with you when they're happy.

A horse doesn't do that... if you're scared then they don't trust you and you can get seriously hurt.

Cowgirl up. Tell her where you want her feet, and give her space when she listens to you.
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