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How can you be more confident around horses?

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    09-30-2013, 08:31 PM
  #11
Super Moderator
Quote:
Originally Posted by ErinaStars    
And what do I do if the horse does not respect me(I'm new to him and him to me)...like pushing, nudging, giving me his rear?

The best way to learn how to convince a hrose that your are in charge is to watch someone else who knows how to do it. Emulate them. I mean , lierally pretend you are an actor and try to do an "impression' of them. For those that find it hard to be assertive, pretending to be somebody else relieves them of the odd feeling that it just "isnt the way I am " when they try to be more assertive than they know how to be.
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    09-30-2013, 08:37 PM
  #12
Started
You're awesome to volunteer the info that you get nervous around horses! Horses will reward your honesty!

If you've got a functioning brain, your brain will try to keep you safe by warning you that you're in danger around horses: in other words, everyone experiences this.

The way to quiet the brain is to gain savvy: to understand horses so well that you'll know what they're going to do before they do it (& they, too, know what's going to happen before what happens happens, often, so you'll be thinking like a horse!) You'll want to understand horses so well that you'll be able to control where they put their feet & the rest of themselves, too. You'll want to understand horses so well that they'll look to you as their leader; they won't want to figure out what to do on their own, with you there.

Warning: this'll take a while, like, the rest of your life. :)
     
    10-01-2013, 08:41 AM
  #13
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern    
You're awesome to volunteer the info that you get nervous around horses! Horses will reward your honesty!

If you've got a functioning brain, your brain will try to keep you safe by warning you that you're in danger around horses: in other words, everyone experiences this.

The way to quiet the brain is to gain savvy: to understand horses so well that you'll know what they're going to do before they do it (& they, too, know what's going to happen before what happens happens, often, so you'll be thinking like a horse!) You'll want to understand horses so well that you'll be able to control where they put their feet & the rest of themselves, too. You'll want to understand horses so well that they'll look to you as their leader; they won't want to figure out what to do on their own, with you there.

Warning: this'll take a while, like, the rest of your life. :)
Yes, certainly makes sense! So...I can tell what a horse is going to do next just by their body movements and such?
How long have you been around horses?
Should I not ride him as of yet and do ground work, or both, to get more confident?

Every morning now (which I started doing a little less then a week ago), I go out to the pasture and brush him down(not his hind quarters yet though*nervous laugh*), is that a good way to start? Just want to make sure I'm getting off on the right foot!

Advice anyone????
     
    10-01-2013, 08:48 AM
  #14
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyliny    
the best way to learn how to convince a hrose that your are in charge is to watch someone else who knows how to do it. Emulate them. I mean , lierally pretend you are an actor and try to do an "impression' of them. For those that find it hard to be assertive, pretending to be somebody else relieves them of the odd feeling that it just "isnt the way I am " when they try to be more assertive than they know how to be.
That would probably be my brother(I wish I had his confidence)! He really does match his horse (since its with his horse I'm trying to get confident with before I get my own), he likes the challenge Wildfire(his horse)gives him, and he can control him and show him who's boss.
Thanks a lot, this has been really helpful, I'll do what you say and see how things go!
     
    10-01-2013, 03:20 PM
  #15
Started
Quote:
Originally Posted by ErinaStars    
Yes, certainly makes sense! So...I can tell what a horse is going to do next just by their body movements and such? Yes, you'll be able to see what's coming.
How long have you been around horses? Lets just say longer than you've been on the planet. :)
Should I not ride him as of yet and do ground work, or both, to get more confident? I wouldn't ride him till you're proficiently doing the 7 Games with him (Parelli for the basic groundwork tasks: be able to touch/stroke him all over, be able to move him via touching pressure, be able to move him via non-touching pressure/driving, send him straight back from you, then return to you, be able to circle him on line around you, be able to send him between you & an object - squeeze game - , be able to send him sideways, crossing his legs over his other legs, down a fence with you following. Once you've got the 7 Games going, then you've built up the savvy & partnership with horse to get on. Then, imo, you first want to be just a passenger on the horse, in an enclosed space: you set the gait, & horse can go where he wants (no steering him with reins or any body part). This develops the rider in many ways, & the horses usually love it. This "Pushing Passenger Game" is also from PNH.

Every morning now (which I started doing a little less then a week ago), I go out to the pasture and brush him down(not his hind quarters yet though*nervous laugh*),Game #1, Friendly Game :)! is that a good way to start? Just want to make sure I'm getting off on the right foot! That's perfect; just keep working with that nervous edge. Don't push yourself to line of intolerable fear, but tolerate discomfort to cross first little nervousness threshold & stay there a bit, so the edge'll recede.

Advice anyone????
Be careful asking senior citizens how long they've been around horses, or just plain been around.
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    10-01-2013, 03:31 PM
  #16
Foal
I'm still afraid of horses and I've been riding since I was a small child - really when I was still in my mother's uterus to be frank. I think a healthy fear is a good thing. Even with my big guy who I adore and I seriously doubt would ever hurt a flea I'm very careful in his stall. I know that with one kick from him I could easily be maimed or dead. He's that big and that young and that powerful. One trainer guy was shocked to his knees almost when he found out I ride my horse in a bitless bridle.

In my line of work, I always tell those I'm training to "Always, always, always trust your gut." If your gut tells you this person is going to be dangerous, listen to it. It's there for a reason. Don't second and triple guess yourself because you could have been right. Better to be safe than sorry.

That said, there comes a time when you have to distinguish between fear that "this horse is really big and things could get ugly" and the intuition that "things are ABOUT to get ugly." That's what I mean with trust your gut.

In addition, horses represent risk. On the pages of this forum and other horseback riding forums, and skydiving forums and motorcycle riding forums you are going to meet people who are generally high sensation seeking. They get off on taking risks to some extent. Since many horse people are women and most women are more risk averse than most men I think you'll find there are an awful lot of people out there who believe being around horses is a calculated, manageable risk.

That leads me to my final thought: trainers, education, guidance. I am not a horse expert. I don't know what to do or how to handle situations with horses. I'm not really that worried I'm going to get hurt - although I have been hurt fairly badly - I'm more worried I'm going to hurt them by teaching them the wrong thing. Having a trainer, a mentor, a friend who knows more about horses than you do, heck even someone younger that knows horses more than you do, can help you to normalize certain situations. As in "see he's not a fire eating dragon." Or as in, "yep, that one looks like a fire eating dragon."

In the final analysis, what I've learned about riding horses off the sides of mountains in the dark on a rainy night is that there comes a point where you just have to "trust the horse." And those are some of the most delightful moments in my life. But to know if that particular horse is the one you should trust and/or in that particular instance you might want to find a professional or seasoned amateur to help you out.
     
    10-01-2013, 03:34 PM
  #17
Foal
Oh, and PS - everybody says I'm not firm enough with the horses. :) Watch Clinton Anderson videos on YouTube. Those have helped me.
     
    10-01-2013, 04:21 PM
  #18
Showing
Fake it till you make it.

Meaning.. this mare was known for being a bully. I was petrified of her but I pretended to be all high and mighty despite being terrorized. I had so much gall when I picked up a tumbleweed as a makeshift whip when she decided to ignore my leg or lunge and bite at someone, that it was as scary to her as say a rattlesnake.

Just.. act confident and soon it will come to pass!
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    10-01-2013, 06:52 PM
  #19
Showing
Hours before you go to the barn, plan each move you will make when you get there ie walk it thro your mind, step by step. This helps switch your focus to what you will be doing rather than what might happen.
     
    10-02-2013, 08:47 AM
  #20
Foal
Thanks! This all has been really helpful!
It takes (at this stage) a lot to just walk out, away from the house toward Wildfire(I keep thinking if something happens nobody with hear me!).
I'm working on it! Thanks y'all for the advice, this has really encouraged me!!!
     

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