I like to stand at my new horse's heads with a long piece of pvc pipe and I use it to touch them all over, rub their legs with it, touch their bellies and just in general desensitize them to being touched without getting kicked. The pvc pipe is an extension of my arm and the horse learns to let me touch her anywhere I want before I start trying to really handle her. You can tape or tie a brush or curry on the pipe as well to get her used to being brushed and curried. If you're standing at her head and rubbing all over with the pipe, she'll get less and less nervous until you can groom her all over.
If she's not used to being groomed, she may not have had her feet picked up either. I use a lead rope to do that at first. I desensitize them to the rope on their legs by putting the rope around their leg and then gently giving a tug, not enough to lift the foot but just so they feel it, all up and down the leg. When they're ok with that, I tug enough to lift the foot off the ground just a tiny bit and set it right back down. I keep on with that and lift higher when they've accepted the lifting, until I can lift up and hold the leg in that position without any protest. Then I start doing it with my hand.
When I first read your post, I started to laugh because I also have a lovely pinto mare who will swing her butt at me, or back up all the way across the pasture to me, because as a baby I 'scritched' her butt with my long fingernails and she LOVES to have her butt 'scritched'. It's a bad habit I taught her, and I have to warn people now that she will hold you hostage in her stall for a scritch, so that they won't think she's being disrespectful.
At first I thought, "OMG she's got another Patti!", but after reading through it doesn't really sound like that's what's going on.