Is my horse is to advanced for me? - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 60 Old 03-22-2014, 10:23 PM
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FYI beginner safes doesn't mean a horse can't "take you to the next level". Just about all the horses at my barn will pack around kids in a therapeutic riding program on Saturday. Then Sunday you can pack them up and show them in anything from hunter/jumper to barrels to reining. Another good example is my trainers reining horses. They can tool around beginners, then they will give me an awesome reining lesson, then the next day you can take them out and show them.

As for your horse, this doesn't sound like an appropriate match. In this case I'd probably sell for a horse more suitable for your skills.
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post #12 of 60 Old 03-22-2014, 11:08 PM
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Seconding what Slidestop said. You can get so much from a well trained, older horse. My old QH I bought to get back in to serious riding was beginner safe, but also good for me as an experienced rider. It's so much easier to try to learn a new discipline or work on your riding when your horse is obedient and tolerant. If she had stayed sound, I would have had a much easier time showing her. She made me look good, too. I am now riding a more "advanced" horse, and the Wild Thoroughbred makes all my faults as a rider very apparent, and he can be down right unpleasant to ride some days. No way I'd want to do it without my trainer. She gives me weekly lessons and rides him on occasion when I'm having trouble. I've been riding for 22 years now, too, since I started riding as a toddler. There's certainly no shame in lessons, even Olympic riders take lessons. Get help! Fighting your horse all the time is no fun.

Tug on anything at all and you'll find it connected to everything else in the universe.~John Muir
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post #13 of 60 Old 03-23-2014, 04:05 AM
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You've asked for advice and not admonishments (which I'm sure are very discouraging), so here is mine:

1. Sit down with your parents with a written-out list of things to discuss. I know with my kids, if they act mature, I'm more likely to listen, and planning out your discussion is a maturity thing.

Explain how you've done the work with your horse, done research online about the horse's behavior, asked for expert advice, and how you've come to the conclusion that you should have bought a horse that was older/calmer.

Explain that you made a mistake by purchasing the wrong horse, by not testing the horse properly, and that because you are concerned for your safety, you need to fix the problem.

2. Show them your plan for fixing the problem.

This could be (a) advertising for a trade online. There's probably a kid out there way more advanced than you looking to "trade up" while you're looking to "trade down". This could cost nothing; (b) advertising to sell the horse outright and use the money to buy a more appropriate horse. This could also cost nothing; (c) offer a lease for the horse to a more experienced rider in exchange for riding lessons or training for the horse and you. This could cost nothing as well.

3. Show them how this experience has taught you a lot and that it's all part of the world of equitation, that it does happen even to experienced riders that they just end up with an unsuitable horse. There is no shame in making a mistake, only in not fixing it once you've realized it exists.

4. Emphasize that there are two main issues at stake: (a) Your safety. Explain how you could be hurt by this horse, very seriously; and (b) Fairness to the horse, a living creature you respect and have the responsibility for.

Explain how horses that are with riders who are not enough for them quickly go downhill with their behavior and attitude. Horses aren't happy when they don't have a human who can lead them. It's not fair to either of you that the bad match will create an unhappy environment for both of you.

If my child came to me with a rational, well-reasoned argument for getting a different horse, I would listen. But if I got the impression that my child was just being a whiner, I wouldn't. That's how parents are, and in your case, it's how parents who don't know about horses will be. Owning and riding a horse is a pretty grown up thing, so show them how grown up you can be.

If all the above fails, I would find someone who will trade you lessons and training for your hard work mucking out stalls, grooming, cleaning tack, etc. Or just go to different barns and ask people who know what they're doing for tips and help. You could probably find someone willing to help for free being that you're a kid. I find that horsey people are generally very kind and generous when someone is in need.
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post #14 of 60 Old 03-23-2014, 04:08 AM
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The moment you said that you rode this horse on the lunge for a trial would have made me very suspicious! It shows your inexperience immediately.

When you try a horse you want to be able to ride it as you would when you get it home.

I agree with the others, you need to sell this horse, get another experienced horse preferably after you have taken at least another year of lessons.
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post #15 of 60 Old 03-23-2014, 06:53 AM
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You are not an experienced rider, if you've only been riding for a year. I don't care who you've had lessons with, and how many times a week. You still aren't an experienced rider if you've only been in the saddle for a year.

And seriously. Your trial was on a lunge line? If I want a trial, I take the horse away for a week (if the owner is ok with that) and take it to a lesson, on a hack, to a competition, ride it in a massive field at a canter, and school it in the ring. I am quite sure that you would have found out that she is not for you had you done all this and more before buying her. If you weren't allowed to take her for a week, you could have gone on a hack around the property, both alone and in company at the very least.

Bottom line, you are not experienced enough to deal with this horse right now, and either need a trainer or to sell the horse.
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post #16 of 60 Old 03-23-2014, 07:56 AM
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I am going to suggest you get someone to help you, a trainer/coach, as soon as you can afford it. I'm not suggesting on a weekly basis but someone who will assess what is going on, help you with what needs most to be worked on (homework) and will return from time to time as money allows. Or as eCasey says, you may find someone who is generous of heart at another stable who will help you.
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post #17 of 60 Old 03-23-2014, 12:08 PM
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There are horses that fall between "deadhead" and what you bought.

I rode and owned horses for 20 years before I bought my paint, Obie. I felt that I was an experienced rider who could handle him. Turns out, I was wrong. He is too much horse for me. With over 20 years of "experience," I am not an experienced rider.

Recently I worked with my trainer and found what we believe will be the right horse for me. A word of caution, however: he would not be right for me if I wasn't working with a trainer.

My advice to you would be to sell your current horse and ask your parents for lessons and a lease horse rather than a new horse right away. You can build up your confidence and experience before you find just the right horse for you. Because the right horse for you now might not be the right horse for you a year from now.

If working with a trainer is not an option, err on the side of caution. Find a horse you can ride confidently now, even if that means a "beginner safe" mount. There is certainly no shame of any rider of any level choosing a beginner horse.
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post #18 of 60 Old 03-27-2014, 08:24 PM
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I would first try paying for lessons while riding your horse. I think between your determination and instructions from a good coach you should be able to make some headway. At the worst you will discover together that this is not the horse for you. If you are getting help for yourself and the horse your parents should respect that. They should also respect the opinion of a trained professional if you need your coach to talk to them about what's going on with you and your boy. To me this is the best way to go, a good middle ground. You're not forgoing having a horse and you will have someone there who can help you work on the issues that he has. :) Good luck to you!
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post #19 of 60 Old 03-28-2014, 09:06 AM
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OP-have you thought about these answers? Any of them strike a chord w/you? Do you want to work w/this mare, or get a safe horse you can ride now? You have her at a boarding stable, right? So she is costing your folks $$ every day, and she is a danger to you, just what is fun about that? Can you trade work for lessons at the barn? We would really like to know how you are doing.
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post #20 of 60 Old 03-28-2014, 09:32 AM
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It suddenly occurred to me that you might be having issues with your parents as much as the horse. It's likely that you chose this horse, and promised he'd be the right one for you. It turned out he wasn't and you have to convince your parents to help you do something about it! I know in this situation my parents would have been angry and might have made me give up on horses altogether. Have you had any luck with them, yet?
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