It's really hard for me to be writing this because the bane of my existence ever since I started in the horse world has been getting too attached to the horses I've half-leased.
A little background:
I've basically been in the horse world and taking lessons for about a year now, and I'm 19 years old. It's something I've always wanted to do ever since I was a little kid but only got the chance now.
I started half leasing a horse at the old place where I took my lessons - a little mom and pop type family barn. I really loved that horse and was leasing him for about 3 months, and then the owner moved to a (in my opinion) terrible barn owned by one of her friends, and the horse became practically unrideable. I was heartbroken because of how great he used to be, but he was a totally different horse and frankly dangerous for my beginner self.
After that, I changed lesson barns to somewhere much better, and I also found another horse to half lease (not where I take my lessons), being the friesian mare in my DP. I've been half-leasing her since October and I have to say that this feels like my heart horse. I love her so much, and she's an amazing horse to be around. I feel so lucky to have been able to meet her and work and bond with her.
The barn where she is living is family run and everyone there is great. But facilities-wise, there isn't much there. There's a small outdoor arena, but it's useless in the winter because it gets full of snow and then the footing is pretty horrible. The place is primarily a trail barn, so I don't blame them. However, as I've recently discovered when I tried to take the mare out for a walk on the trails alone (I was walking her from the ground in a halter), she gets pretty flighty and wants to go back home. Being a beginner, I wouldn't ride on the trails alone anyways, but I don't have anyone that I can go with frequently, so I'm stuck going around in the ring in the little path that I've managed to wear down around the rail. I also sometimes feel like I'm looked down on because I don't go on trails like everyone else does, but that may just be me imagining things when they ask if I'm going on trail or not.
I don't know whether I should be trying to find another horse at another barn that is better suited to what I'm doing (which I guess would be the logical choice from a riding progress standpoint), but I really really love this mare and I'm just so torn, I don't know what to do. Heck I'm tearing up right now thinking about leaving her
If you were me, what would you do? I don't know what to do, maybe I should wait it out until the summer where the ring and the trail will be better to ride and I'll maybe be able to go out alone?
Any advice is really appreciated.