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Advice needed

This is a discussion on Advice needed within the Parenting forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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    09-28-2012, 06:44 PM
Many moons ago I placed exchange students from Germany with families in England.

It's pointless talking to a different exchange agency, as he has paid his fees to the one he is placed with. You need to talk to them. They should also have access to German speakers so he can accurately explain his situation.

It shouldn't take much effort to be approved yourself to host him, and you should be paid a per diem to cover some of the expenses of feeding him.

Just give the agency a call and let them know what's going on.
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    09-28-2012, 06:51 PM
Green Broke
Based upon what you've described about this "host family", I think that even I, as a 47 yr old american, would be extremely unhappy!!!! I think homesickness is way low on the priority ladder for this young man, and as we've had a few wonderful exchange students as guests in our home (when our oldest son was a senior), I could clearly tell how costly it was for their families! Both families were well-to-do, (Greenland & Australia), but were placed in very good host homes!! You have been AWESOME in the way you've included him in activities, etc. I would Push, Push, Push the school system (or whatever) to get him moved A.S.A.P!! The "host family" sounds like a bunch of hicks (please forgive my judgement), and I would be MISERABLE if I were that kid! Look at his smile in your home! If you can't have him as a host, I'm sure with some "push" you/the school can get him in somewhere waaaay more pleasurable! Good for you, and your compassion, by the way! :)
    09-28-2012, 08:28 PM
I was just trying to help.
And I don't think he's homesick, not the least bit. He is culture-shocked. How can I tell? By his name and his wish to stay with WN's family. That's the kind of family he's coming from. And feels comfortable in.
    09-28-2012, 10:50 PM
Gypsybell..thank you!
    09-28-2012, 10:56 PM
Thank You DHW for your input. I wondered about the culture shock part of it. I work from home and we are a family that sits down to dinner at the table every night, that go to church together every Sunday morning and my husband usually cooks up a big breakfast on the weekends.

To everyone... I talked to his adviser today. She doesn't want to remove him from his "home" yet without more investigating. I just want him to enjoy his time here and my heart breaks that he is matter what the reason.

Thanks everyone! I will keep you posted!
Northernstar likes this.
    09-29-2012, 06:58 PM
Green Broke
So wonderful you talked with the advisor - I think it's very wise under the circumstances they do more investigating! Poor guy is probably feeling "in between a rock and a hard place" not wanting to reveal the living conditions over there..... Your family is a shining light for him right now, and he's so lucky to have you close by! :)
WickedNag likes this.
    10-01-2012, 08:01 AM
So under much consideration and talking to two of his advisers, Konstantin has decided to stay where he is and come to me for support as he needs it/wants it. He can stay with us if they go out of town and he doesn't want to join them etc.

Lots of prayers this young man finds peace here. I think his male adviser told him to buck up. That he is homesick and in culture shock and not all american families are the same. While mine might look good on the inside, we will have issues he would need to deal with as well. DUH...

I will be here for him as he needs me and that is all I can do
    10-01-2012, 09:48 AM
WickedNag, that is a wonderful thing for you to do. His advisor is correct, no exchange placement is without issues, trying to work it out where he is, is usually the best first option. The family he is with did generously offer to host him in the first place, so they must have some redeeming qualities. If you can be there for him as well, so much the better.

Which exchange program is he with?

Best of luck, and have fun being involved with him. Your entire family will benefit from the experience, and he will go home with an even broader view of life in the US.
    10-01-2012, 10:17 AM
ASSE is the program he is with. I talked to Tracy his host mom last night at great length about him and what he expressed to me. She is really trying to make this work. Stepped into the house for a min.. not the greatest smell but not like it used to be and much much less cluttered.
    10-01-2012, 12:19 PM
So maybe that'll help the family too.....
Sometimes it takes some kind of wake-up call to realize things.
Maybe both "parties" will benefit.
WickedNag likes this.

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