Am I being greedy/selfish here?

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Am I being greedy/selfish here?

This is a discussion on Am I being greedy/selfish here? within the Parenting forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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        10-15-2013, 12:23 PM
    Am I being greedy/selfish here?

    I've been saving some money for a self-started college fund since my mom never started one for me. I had just under 3k saved up, but mom borrowed about 1500 from me; 1k of it for the rent (which I'm not upset about) but the rest collectively adds up to nothing more than cigarettes and alcohol. Which I am upset about.

    Money for us is tight right now, I get that, we're all making sacrifices. And I want to help with rent as much as possible, if she asked -for the rent- I would gladly sacrifice the rest of my college fund. But I want her to stop asking me to buy her her vices. Does that make me selfish or greedy? It's like "I just want to save myself a freaking college fund! Why must I buy you your booze?" :/
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        10-15-2013, 12:26 PM
    Nope. Helping to keep a roof over your head is one thing, but funding her addictions isn't your responsibility.
        10-15-2013, 12:30 PM
    Definitely not being greedy or selfish!

    I'm sorry that she would do that :( that really really sucks.
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        10-15-2013, 12:55 PM
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    Maybe you can start saving in a fixed manner, such as applying 25% of your saving toward the rent, and the rest toward college.

    If you are old enough to be expected to contribute to the rent, then do so on a set schedule. If things are so hard that you are needed to help keep that roof over your head. But you are totally NOT being greedy to want your hard saved money to go for something necessary and important, and personally, I'd be thrilled if one of my kids was saving hard toward college.
        10-15-2013, 01:30 PM
    Move out.
        10-17-2013, 01:29 PM
    Thanks for the advice guys. I've been thinking of approaching mom with a plan to divide any money I earn among us; I'll put some away/keep some for gas and give her the rest to compromise on groceries and rent. Possibly a 50/50 or maybe 60/40(40 being myself) type ratio per check to keep things fair. Sort of like what you said, TinyLiny.

    I want to reiterate that I absolutely don't mind helping with the rent and such. I want to help and I want to go out of my way to make that much clear. But last night she borrowed yet another 20 bucks from me and since I lost some dog sitting/walking clients, it came out of my college fund. I'm applying to other places though so I shouldn't be out of work for too long. . I just, ugh, it made me upset. Hopefully helping with the rent will get her to back off of me when it comes to buying her drinks and stuff.

    Thank you all for your advice! I appreciate you taking the time to respond. :)

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