Bullying in school

My daughter (6yo) has had a problem with one of the kids in her class since she started school last year. The child has down right bullied her and to be frank, the entire class.

Last year there was slapping, pushing, hair pulling. Bad language and organizing other kids to gang up and single one child out. My daughter is no saint, and I'm sure at times these incidents are exaggerated. The girl and her parents were in for meeting with the principal, and there were numerous complaints about her. My daughter who loves school went through a stage where she no longer wanted to go.

Earlier this year the other girl took cheese and smeered it all over my daughter's chair while she was in the toilet. My daughter sat in it unknowingly and was very upset by it. I called the school and complained. I have now called the school on 3 occasions about this child.

Today I was in work, but my husband collected her to be told, and given a note that this child had kicked my daughter in the back and she had "been punished accordingly". They were playing tag and my daughter had caught her. I'm frustrated now: I've called the school, written letters, I've met with the teachers, I've spoken to the principal.

What do I do!?!?! It is ridiculous that this child get away with such behavior!

I'd march right down to the principals office and demand to know what interventions are in place with this child. Remind them of how many times this child has done something to yours. If you can get another parent or two down there I'm sure it would make your case that much stronger. Bottom line, squeaky wheel gets the grease. I bet they think they are pacifing you with notes and phone calls. I'm sure they will be shocked to see you in there ready to fly off the handle.

As for your daughter...My little cousin, who is slightly delayed but not enough to hold him back, has similar problems with bullying and he just turned 10. I'd recommend getting her into something she enjoys where she shares common interests with other kids. Dance, art, soccer, horseback riding, etc. That should help her make more friends and get that social interaction without the bullying.
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I'm going to call the school tomorrow and set up an appointment for Monday. There is no point sending hubby in tomorrow, as he wouldn't say what needs to be said. I'm just frustrated as this won't be the first time I've had to go into the school and complain about this child.

She does ride and goes swimming, and she seems to get along with other kids just fine. It's almost like she thinks it is normal for this other child to be such an anti christ - possibly the fact that the child is horrible to several of the kids makes her feel that she isn't isolated.

Escalate the issue. Let them know you will notify the school board, the newspaper and your lawyer.
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I am with you DA. You have talked to the principle enough. I would go to the superintendent. My daughter was bullied at the age of 11 but it was by the teacher and principle. I will never forgive myself for not pulling her out of that school sooner. Take action. You have talked enough and seemingly it has fallen on deaf ears.

Of you cannot get an appt with the superintendent the next beat thing would be to write a certified letter to the principal as well as the school board, preferably written by an attorney. This is serious stuff and most schools have a zero tolerance.

If this continues to be an issue maybe a change of school or home schooling would be better.

I was severely bullied throughout school- threatened to get "jumped" on the way to the bus, had textbooks thrown at me and was cursed out several times. I had friends who were really worried I was going to get attacked before or after school. This was during middle school. The 3 girls in question came from a broken home, and I even walked in on one of them drinking alcohol in the school bathroom. The teachers did not want to discipline them due to their "home situation".

If the school refuses to help, you need to think of doing what is best for your child.

We have are girl like that in J's class (4th grade). Sounds just like the one you're dealing with. She's even gone as far as hurting a younger child on the bus.

When I went in to talk to the principal about her an well other things concerning J, he confided in me that he knew she is a serious problem, and that all the teachers know to pay close attention to her. He wishes that he could do more, but that at the moment his hands where tied. After that I was really upset!! And then I talked with my 2 aunts who are teachers at the school. Appearently, the parents are real pieces of work (surprise, surprise) and after they were brougnt in to discuss their daughter's behavior they felt she was being singled out. So now there's lawyers and counselors and "experts" invloved. So until she does serious PHYSICAL harm to another kid, all the school can do is keep a close eye on her and try and jump in when she starts picking on another kid verbally.

A lot of this type of stuff goes back to what we as parents allow and don't allow our kids teachers to do as far as discipline.

I have huge experiences with bullying, that resulted in me getting some very bad, addictive habits and all kinds of treatment, all because of how I was treated in school. I'm sad to say that I was bullied right into senior year, all the way from primary school - about 5 years. I had (still have, but to a lesser extent) a very severe stutter, which was found amusing, and I was rather heavy as a child, and even after "slimming down" I had (still have) a rather fat stomach, which was also tease worthy.

Here's a thread with my story - I'm going for treatment... Bullying. *Slightly long*

I put this up here, because my mom never really tried to stop what was happening. She tried to stop the RESULTS of the bullying, but not the bullying itself. I guess it had happened so many times for something (my stutter) I can't control that she lost hope in it ever stopping. After a long time of treatment, and the bullies actually, FINALLY being punished severly, and my state of mind recovered, things got better, and the latter half of my final year became the best of my school life.

You as mothers are doing a great thing, trying to put an end to bullying. I'm not saying your children will end up like me (I'm a very "complex" person apparently), but bullying can have serious results, so PLEASE keep trying to do it. Children (and teenagers) can be very cruel, without actually realising it, so they need to be made aware.

I've been bullies alot during my school years...right from elementary to highschool.
It was until I hit grade 9 that the bullying was getting worse.
I was marked everyday for threats...and what was worse...the guys would join up with these 'wicked' girls and try to hurt me too. That's when I made a big decision to take up martial arts.
No kidding....not long after that most of the bullying stopped. Never had use any of my techniqes on any of those kids.....what a bummer!!!!

So maple....do what you can do to get this bullying thing sorted out and breathe down thier neck if you have to.
Also....maybe see if your daughter wants to take up a self defence course. It will help her to become more self confident and she'll will know how to defend herself when push comes to shove.

My nieghbors granddaughter is 2nd degree black belt in tia kwon do.
Several years ago...a bully ( a boy) started to rough her up right on the school ground. She had him on the ground with a sucker punch....and...no kidding...the rest of the students cheered for her. This boy harassed the girls and boys...and the teachers would do nothing about because of his background with family issues. After that...this girls was hailed as a hero and this bully avoided her and everybody else.

So yeah....a self defense course of some kind might a good idea for your daughter to take as well.

When my son entered junior high, he was bullied repeatly by a few bigger kids, even choked to the point of unconscienceness! Yes, we went to the principal, school board etc. Finally to put an end to it, we put him in our garage gym and taught him kickboxing & sent him away with instructions "If anyone says one word to you, do not give him a chance, sucker punch him right in the head & when he goes down, kick him. When you get in trouble, tell the teachers to call your father". It happened, my husband had a few words with the principal and my son was suspended for a week and has never been bullied since.
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