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Bullying in school

This is a discussion on Bullying in school within the Parenting forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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        03-08-2013, 02:27 PM
      #11
    Trained
    Call your police station and start reporting the incidents as they happen. We had to go that route and it put the school and the child and the child's family we were serious and we would escalate it to the point where a FIRST GRADER would already have charges pressed against him.

    It's not fun. It's not right, but you need to do what you need to do to protect your daughter.

    If she is also having emotional issues over this I suggest getting her some counseling. It will help her to understand she isn't at fault.
         
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        03-08-2013, 03:27 PM
      #12
    Started
    Thanks everybody for the advice. I too was bullied in school but I'm shocked at the age of the kids - we're talking 5 and 6 years old.

    I've made an appointment to meet both the teacher and principal on Monday after school. Surprisingly, or maybe not, when speaking with the secretary to arrange the meeting, she was able to "guess" which child is involved.

    I'm not wearing rose-tinted glasses, I know there is every possibility my child could be a factor here - but in the parent/teacher meetings before I have been told what a sensitive, polite and thoughtful child she is. The teacher told me that my daughter wouldn't say or do anything to anybody else that would upset them. She is very sensitive, and will be upset if she knocks over her toddler brother.

    Something I have found very annoying, and maybe it's the cultural difference from what I grew up with compared to where I live, is that nearly anybody I have spoken to has told me that I should tell my child to hit the other one back! When I tell them I don't want my child to retaliate with violence, they have all said it's the only way to sort it. Whatever happened to "two wrongs don't make a right" and "violence is not the answer"?

    The is no excuse for any person of any age putting their hands on somebody else, and I'm somewhat concerned I'm fighting a losing battle here if that is the mentality that I'm going to have to deal with. Today the other child made mine a "im sorry" card, and my daughter told me she has forgiven her.... I'm thinking this card was likely the apparent punishment the other child was given.
         
        03-08-2013, 03:37 PM
      #13
    Banned
    Just a heads up, so you don't get frustrated when you talk to the school administrators. If they are professional, they should not discuss the other child with you. Of course that's a big if, but it's how it should be.

    You should bring your concerns to them, and then the meeting should focus on how your child should deal with the situation. They should then go off and deal with the bully separately.
         
        03-08-2013, 03:47 PM
      #14
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Maple    
    Something I have found very annoying, and maybe it's the cultural difference from what I grew up with compared to where I live, is that nearly anybody I have spoken to has told me that I should tell my child to hit the other one back! When I tell them I don't want my child to retaliate with violence, they have all said it's the only way to sort it. Whatever happened to "two wrongs don't make a right" and "violence is not the answer"? That I'm going to have to deal with.
    The thing is, bullies don't understand anything but violence. They don't get the bits about being nice and all that. They understand weak and strong. Why do you think there's so many stories of children learning martial arts, self defense or just flat out getting in a sucker punch? Because it works. It shuts the door on all bullying and doesn't leave room for the bully to go about it in a new way. Why do you think it's always the shy ones, the small ones, the fat ones, etc that are picked on? They're picked out as weak.

    Not that I'm advocating violence. If it comes to blows your child should be able to hold her own. Count me in among those who beat up their bully and got it to stop though.

    These days I'm more a make a scene person. Call the cops, get the local news involved and call a lawyer. No more school meetings - why bother? They're not helping. I think you should escalate before that bratty child does.
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        03-08-2013, 03:48 PM
      #15
    Started
    Alex - I don't expect them to talk to me about the other child - but I do expect them to tell me what they propose to do about it. I don't think much will be done to be honest, but I refuse to let them sweep it under the rug and think I will allow my child be treated like this... maybe other parents will ignore it but I won't.

    If I'm going to be the opinionated foreign Mommy, I may as well do a good job. :)
         
        03-08-2013, 04:03 PM
      #16
    Started
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by DancingArabian    
    The thing is, bullies don't understand anything but violence. They don't get the bits about being nice and all that. They understand weak and strong. Why do you think there's so many stories of children learning martial arts, self defense or just flat out getting in a sucker punch? Because it works. It shuts the door on all bullying and doesn't leave room for the bully to go about it in a new way. Why do you think it's always the shy ones, the small ones, the fat ones, etc that are picked on? They're picked out as weak.

    Not that I'm advocating violence. If it comes to blows your child should be able to hold her own. Count me in among those who beat up their bully and got it to stop though.

    These days I'm more a make a scene person. Call the cops, get the local news involved and call a lawyer. No more school meetings - why bother? They're not helping. I think you should escalate before that bratty child does.
    Posted via Mobile Device

    I do see where you are coming from DA, but I can't bring myself to tell a nearly 6yo to hit another child. I have nothing against learning self defense, but I don't feel comfortable telling my child that the only solution to violence is with further violence.
         
        03-08-2013, 04:43 PM
      #17
    Green Broke
    Isnt assualt assault ? Screw the school, go to the magistrate and take out a warrant for assault and battery.
         
        03-08-2013, 04:45 PM
      #18
    Trained
    Yes Joe. That is why I said talk to the police station. It's a last resort, but it is a viable option. We had to go there and it ended up getting the whole **** school in trouble as they refused to do anything about terroristic threats.
         
        03-08-2013, 05:42 PM
      #19
    Green Broke
    Cops tend to not want to get involved, they will down play the issue, try to tell you its a school issue. Need to do more than talk you have to swear out a warrant and press charges.
         
        03-08-2013, 05:55 PM
      #20
    Trained
    That entirely depends on the area and from officer to officer. Painting them all with a comment like that is asinine.

    You don't have to swear out a warrant to have the police involved and put the school on notice that you are serious.
         

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