Circumcision, and why people can't just respect your descision. - Page 4
   

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Circumcision, and why people can't just respect your descision.

This is a discussion on Circumcision, and why people can't just respect your descision. within the Parenting forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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        10-19-2012, 09:22 AM
      #31
    Green Broke
    Thing is...when you share this kind of information with people and ask their advice or opinion, a lot of people feel like you should follow what they're saying because after all you asked for help and hey have you help. Then when you don't follow heir advice they get annoyed. I see this happen all the time on pretty much every subject.
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        10-19-2012, 10:08 AM
      #32
    Weanling
    I didn't ask her advice on the subject as I already knew what we were going to do...I asked for a general opinion on it amongst FB friends.

    I'm glad that it has no effect on bonding, I was pretty confident that was a load of BS, as the baby is so young. Heck I havent even heard of bonding being effected amongst the jewish, and I believe they have the procedure done several days after birth as well..

    Andrew I can respect your opinion on it, But as said so well by tiny- female circumcision is so much more invasive and the child at the time of circing is well aware of whats going on. To me this would be a more valuable arguement if I were talking about castrating my son as a 5 year old, not snipping a little piece of skin while he's a newborn (to me this it like comparing apples to oranges). And Who am I to say the cultures who practice such things are wrong (although I don't agree with the practice)..after all it is the circumcised women that allow the practice to continue. Take foot binding for example (chinese? Japanese??)..it fell out of favor when women started saying "f**k this" and refused to perpetuate the cycle with their own children. Bottom line If these women take issue with it (female circ), THEY need to be the ones standing against it.

    I could understand the human rights issue more if men were standing up and saying "hey this isnt right", but from what seems to be going on most men want their sons circed. MY husband wants it done, and since he went through it unscathed, I feel he has more say than I do on the matter.

    Anyway I have decided to kind of cold shoulder her for a while..she already bought her plane ticket so I really wouldn't feel right telling her to not come at all.. I'm sure I will be discussing this further with her, as I really wasn't to impressed with the refusal to diaper change..I mean that's why your coming out right? To help? And the fact that she is getting name calling nasty over it...I'm doing EVERYTHING I can to make sure this kid has the best chances to grow healthy, and have a decent birth experience (no coffee or horseback riding:/). And yet you treat me like I'm cutting off his left leg..

    I just think its funny she wants to be a doula...I guess she will only doula for those who share her EXACT views, because that is the role of the doula- to support the mother. Or at least respect her wishes...and rub her back.
         
        10-19-2012, 10:21 AM
      #33
    Weanling
    Also thanks you so much for all of the congradulations! DH is super happy at having a boy!..I wanted a girl sooo bad, but I finally got used to the idea of a boy...and am actually pretty excited about it, although I'm sure he will be like his dad and get into loads of trouble...ending in ER visits:)

    As for baby pictures..I make no promises lol...havent even figured out how to properly upload a profile pic yet haha.
         
        10-19-2012, 01:26 PM
      #34
    Weanling
    For some it's also a religious thing (Jewish and Catholic, for example).

    I'm not going to have children, so I can't say I have a standpoint as a potential parent. It may be TMI, but I honestly think uncircumcised just looks gross no matter the age of the person...

    Do what you want and what you think is best for your child.
         
        10-19-2012, 01:46 PM
      #35
    Super Moderator
    Yes, in the heat of the discussion, I forgot to send you my congratulations. I have two sons. When the first was born, we did not know the gender ahead of time. I was thrilled to have a boy. But, when I was pregnant the second time, I had Chorionic villae sampling (like amniosentesis) testing done, since I was 38. This told me for certain that the baby was a genetically normal boy. When I learned it was a boy, not my hoped for girl, I cried and cried. But, I did not share the news of this with my husband and literally pretended to not now the gender throughout the rest of the whole pregnancey and birth, so that I did not ruin the surprise for him.

    Anyway, with regard to circumcision; The first son was born in Japan while we were living there. They do not circumsize there, but the doc knew that as Americans, we likely would. I told my husband that it would be his decision, and he wanted it done (to be like himself). It was done at the local hospital . It was a bit truamatic having it done there, and we had some minor complications. But, the second son was done here, in US, and no problems at all.

    It is just a cultural preference, I am sure. But the boys have to grow up in their culture and be comfortable. No one is crippling their ability to enjoy sex or achieve orgasm.
         
        10-19-2012, 01:53 PM
      #36
    Weanling
    I totally used to say that too! " I AM NEVER HAVING KIDS".... then I got a divorce from my first husband, who made me feel like kids would be a horrible option (to say it was a volatile relationship would be an understatement...)

    Meeting husband no. 2, and actually having a married partnership instead of a dictatorship completely made me want kids with him.
         
        10-19-2012, 02:38 PM
      #37
    Showing
    Tell anyone who brings up the subject that it's not open for discussion. That should stop it right there, dead in it's tracks.
         
        10-19-2012, 04:27 PM
      #38
    Green Broke
    As a note, MDH is circumcised and is fine with it. Never had any problems, no latent trauma LOL, but he agreed that our boys would not be circumcised since we had the choice. At his time, it was automatically done. Now in Ontario, if you want your boy circumcised you have to pay.

    Re male vs. female genital cutting -- while the female does tend to be more extreme at what point do we say, "Oh, that's just a little flap of skin" and then move to "That's mutilation." Both are physically unnecessary surgeries. I don't see how one supercedes the other.
    AnrewPL likes this.
         
        10-19-2012, 04:39 PM
      #39
    Super Moderator
    Because, as I said before, female "circucision" is meant to remove the female's enjoyment of sex. It is effectively a crippling measure.
    natisha likes this.
         
        10-19-2012, 04:57 PM
      #40
    Super Moderator
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by tinyliny    
    It is just a cultural preference, I am sure. But the boys have to grow up in their culture and be comfortable. No one is crippling their ability to enjoy sex or achieve orgasm.
    Cultural for sure. (Congratulations by the way). I have two sons and can't imagine having that done to them nor do I know anyone who would either, but each to their own
         

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