Horses after kids? - Page 2
   

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Horses after kids?

This is a discussion on Horses after kids? within the Parenting forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category
  • How to juggle kids and horses
  • How to juggle horse riding and kids

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    01-15-2013, 01:22 PM
  #11
Green Broke
A lot of women have both horses & kids-but I opted for horses only. My last riding partner thought about kids for a while, but stuck w/horses due to some family health issues. Another friend of ours went w/kids-she hardly rode for 2 or 3 years, but now takes 1 of the kids w/her, so that's a plus. The gals I ride w/here,don't have kids or they are already grown /gone. It's a big decision & a life changer. Give it a lot of thought.
     
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    01-15-2013, 02:22 PM
  #12
Started
It is do-able... but your life will change dramatically.

Juggling the horses and kids is difficult. I managed to enjoy a whole 3 hours child free while the oldest started playschool and spent quality time with my horses.. and that lastest for a whole 5 months before I found out #2 was on the way.

I still get out to my horse. I don't ride half as often as I'd like, there are plenty of times when the car is parked outside the stall while I muck out and feed with the kids sitting in it. Like was said before - buggies parked by arenas, attempts to smother barn cats with love... been there, done that

Lets face it, my body is warped and I'll never see a bikini again, my hours with my horse have decreased but unheard of amounts of time, I have little to no piece and quiet, and they completely destroyed my social life - BUT as a person who people said would never have kids... I have never felt the love and need to protect as I do those two little people. The thoughts of something happening to them scares the life out of me, I could not love anybody or anything as much as I love them. My youngest is now 18 months.. he'll be starting playschool in only another year and a half. In the big grand scheme of things... what is 3 years? I have plenty of time to enjoy my horses for the rest of my life.
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    01-15-2013, 05:33 PM
  #13
Started
I didn't get to start riding again until my son was about 3 and that was only once every few months when I could get a time when neither me nor his father was working and have him not bi**h that I was going to ride. Now my son is 5 1/2 and I get to ride about once a week, taking lessons, my horses are home so winter is tough to ride since the arena is either frozen solid or a giant mud pit. I do see my horses everyday to feed and such but I would really like to ride more. Honestly kids were never in my plan I love my son more then anything but I miss my horse time
     
    01-15-2013, 09:15 PM
  #14
Foal
Well, that was a lot of honesty... I guess. But none of that was reassuring in the least. I have a support system behind me, my mother, in laws etc. Even if my husband decided he didn't want to help, not that I would willingly give him that option. But still...
     
    01-15-2013, 09:50 PM
  #15
Green Broke
Nothing wrong with choosing not to have kids either.

It doesn't sound like you're really ready for or really set on having kids, IMO. For children, you have to be prepared for them to be the top priority indefinitely. You will not ride as much most likely. Your time will absolutely be cut down for at least a while. Is it doable? Sure. But also realize to keep your involvement with horses as it is now you are going to be dependent on other people for it to happen. Either the father or inlaws or a hired babysitter, but the baby will have to be with someone. It will demand your time, energy and money.

I'm not saying it can't be done - I've seen it done. Would I do it? HECK no. My horse is second in my life and he's staying there.
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    01-15-2013, 09:51 PM
  #16
Foal
I did not have a lot of time to ride when my kids were small, or much money either. But my older daughter, who is now 20, loves to ride. It is nice to have someone around to talk to about horses when no one else wants to hear about them. :)
     
    01-15-2013, 09:56 PM
  #17
Banned
Quote:
Originally Posted by KJsDustyDash    
Well, that was a lot of honesty... I guess. But none of that was reassuring in the least. I have a support system behind me, my mother, in laws etc. Even if my husband decided he didn't want to help, not that I would willingly give him that option. But still...
Yes I guess it wasn't too reassuring, but I think a lot of people go into some kind of huge life change when they have kids....it's 24/7......some people really enjoy it....and some like me don't so much, and I know that's because I was pretty much on my own - husband commuted, no family around, friends all worked full time....I don't think I even had friends with kids.....it was a huge eye opener for sure.
Hubby not helping - yeah don't let that be an option
     
    01-15-2013, 10:24 PM
  #18
Showing
It's not easy. I won't lie to you about that but it is possible to have both. I wanted both, I work out of the barn so I have had to make time to be out there. When DD was younger I either got up several hours before my hubby went to work or I worked horses into the wee hours of the morning while she was sleeping. Now that she is a bit older (she's 7) and is in school, it's awesome.

I get all day to get my barn work done and when she gets home she heads to the barn and rides with me. Now it's almost as fun watching her develop as a rider than riding myself...almost ;)
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    01-16-2013, 11:22 AM
  #19
Trained
KJ it is hard.
When I first had my DD I lived next door to my parents. Mom quit her job for a few months just so she could "help out". LOL, gotta love having the first GB!
So I had plenty of help. Then we moved an hour and a half away and I really struggled! I did all that I could to continue riding, playpens, nap time, and even now that she's 7 I take her up to Mom's so DH and I can trail ride. Laughed at all the posts prior because they are so true! Then add in sick days, cold/hot days they can't be out in, extra laundry, nap times, feeding times, school projects and involvement, you lose a bunch of "you" time and "freedom"!

But don't despair! You are going to need some "you" time, horses are the perfect excuse to get out of the house and away from it all!

Like MHF said, these days I get almost as much pleasure giving up my riding time to give DD lessons. Almost...

Good luck!
     
    01-16-2013, 11:46 AM
  #20
Started
Quote:
Originally Posted by Muppetgirl    
Yes I guess it wasn't too reassuring, but I think a lot of people go into some kind of huge life change when they have kids....it's 24/7......some people really enjoy it....and some like me don't so much, and I know that's because I was pretty much on my own - husband commuted, no family around, friends all worked full time....I don't think I even had friends with kids.....it was a huge eye opener for sure.
Hubby not helping - yeah don't let that be an option
Ah your not alone there. I felt completely isolated; my family & friends lived in a different country, my inlaws sneer and disapprove of my riding, and my husband... well... his priorities can be somewhat of an issue. He is a good father, just can not see how I might possibly want to get out for some me time. He's a sports addict, and when I had my first he was away 5 nights a week at training. Heck, he even left me at the hospital alone when I was in labour with my first so that he could play a match!! That just seems to be the way things are here though, as if I ever made a fuss I got an earfull off the inlaws about how much they had to do as so-and-so was working this that and the other hours, and he did so much... yadda yadda yadda.

I still muddled through, even if I did have a tag along nearly the entire time. More often then not if I were home he would do a "but she wants to go with you, she LOVES the horses". It's only for a short time of you life; come school age, then its quickly to the teenage years where they wont want to look at ya haha I'm sure in 20 years time, they will be moved out and I'll be 50 - still plenty of time to get out riding and enjoy my life... and probably miss their company
     

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