Horses after kids? - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 43 Old 01-16-2013, 12:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KJsDustyDash View Post
Well, that was a lot of honesty... I guess. But none of that was reassuring in the least. I have a support system behind me, my mother, in laws etc. Even if my husband decided he didn't want to help, not that i would willingly give him that option. But still...
I'm not sure what you expected.... we're mothers and having a kid changes you forever. Life is not rainbows and butterflies, you find that you are completely and utterly responsible for this tiny lil thing who despite being the size of a loaf of bread, completely rules your entire day!

A full-time job generally takes up about 9hrs in the day minimum. An hour riding session isn't an hour since there is grooming, tacking and so forth and so on... so add in another hour for that (and more if you don't have full care boarding). Then you still have all the other things in normal life like commute time, shopping, cooking, cleaning, laundry, sleeping AND you now have a child that needs attention during all of this! Won't even get into the fact that sleep basically flies out the window for the first couple months (or longer...).

A child can accompany you with things like shopping and certainly can be around and attended to while you get household chores done but they will take longer (sometimes MUCH longer) but you can't throw them in a playpen and go ride for an hour. A lot of barns aren't safe to even bring them at all, once they are walking.

Life with kids + horses is WAY easier if they aren't boarded IMO. When the lil one finally takes a nap or goes to bed for the night, you can bring a baby monitor outside and listen while you ride. You can park a stroller w/kiddo in the barn since there aren't other people/horses milling about. You can build a secure play area next to the arena and so on....

I wouldn't trade either of my kids for anything but time-consuming they most definitely are.

Oh and when they get older.... it's WAY easier to ride since they are off doing their own thing UNLESS their own thing requires you to be the coach, chauffeur, team mom, etc... 3 days a week, I now drive 45mins each way and then sit for 1.5hrs while my lil girl WRESTLES! She has a very adorable safe pony but oh no.... apparently squashing lil boys into submission is her thing, so there I am cheering her on and hoping they don't squash HER!
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post #22 of 43 Old 01-16-2013, 01:11 PM
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I know lots of riding coaches, whos job it is to ride, have kids and seem to make it work. But as far as working to support the horsey habit and then riding?? I'm saying no thanks to kids. One of my friends even got her tubes tied in her late twenties. I'm not thinking that's too bad of an idea!
My horses are my children and I get all the motherly satisfaction from pampering them that I need. Absolutely no desire for kids. My friends have kids and love them. I think they're kind of cute in a plush animal kind of way until they start walking and talking - then I think when can you start stalling them?? Hahahaha.

It's not a bad or weird thing to not want kids - heck I don't even have (or want) the time for a steady BF! But then again they whine as much as a kid it would seem... I already have all my cat names picked out hahaha :P

They say money doesn't buy happiness -- well happiness doesn't buy horses!
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post #23 of 43 Old 01-16-2013, 01:15 PM
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Anebel, you crack me up! Men are worse than children, promise. DH is a much bigger baby (especially if he is sick) than DD.

I didn't want kids either (vehemently swore I'd never have any) but woke up one morning and it was like someone flipped the crazy hormonal need for a baby switch and a couple months later I was prego. Wouldn't trade her for the world and love her to pieces but I sure as heck won't be having more. I tell folks who ask "when are you going to have another one "Never, only equine babies for me from now on, at least I can sell them if they make me mad."

Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, Take another shot.
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post #24 of 43 Old 01-16-2013, 01:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MHFoundation Quarters View Post
Anebel, you crack me up! Men are worse than children, promise. DH is a much bigger baby (especially if he is sick) than DD.

I didn't want kids either (vehemently swore I'd never have any) but woke up one morning and it was like someone flipped the crazy hormonal need for a baby switch and a couple months later I was prego. Wouldn't trade her for the world and love her to pieces but I sure as heck won't be having more. I tell folks who ask "when are you going to have another one "Never, only equine babies for me from now on, at least I can sell them if they make me mad."
EVERY TIME my farrier comes out he asks me if I'm pregnant yet or when I'm gonna have another (I've known him for about 10 years) answer if always the same "never never NEVER" lol my horse time is limited enough as it is! My son started kindergarten this year, why would I want to start all over
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post #25 of 43 Old 01-16-2013, 03:39 PM
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Yep, it is hard to have kids & time to ride. I gave up riding when I had children, no time or money. Now that they are grown I finally have my own horse. But, now a full time job interferes with my riding. LOL Looking forward to retirement but have to make sure I can afford my horse. Always something!!
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post #26 of 43 Old 01-16-2013, 09:36 PM
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It is hard but doable. My daughter was carted around the barn and hay field many times. When doing barn chores she would be in a playpen in the aisle. One time I was stacking hay in the barn and needed it to get in before it rained. She was overly tired, cranky, crying. I gave her a bottle and layed her down but she kept wanting me to hold her. Well, I had to let her cry herself to sleep, she did. But she also had a layer of hay particles on her, it was breezy that day! I just let her sleep and finished up doing hay. She eventually at the age of 7 started driving a truck hauling a hay wagon on the field while I threw bales. The truck was in 4 wheel drive and in low, she did exceptionally well! You do what you have to do!
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post #27 of 43 Old 01-16-2013, 10:24 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
I'm not sure what you expected.... we're mothers and having a kid changes you forever. Life is not rainbows and butterflies, you find that you are completely and utterly responsible for this tiny lil thing who despite being the size of a loaf of bread, completely rules your entire day!
To be honest, I'm not sure what I was expecting either, but it sure wasn't that their significant other b**tched, moaned about, or flat out refused, to take care of their offspring. I understand that not everyone has access to the support system of family that I do. A mother who I might actually have to kidnap potential children back from, a mother in law that I adore and who takes care of her other grandbaby weekly, and a husband whom (I would hope) would take responsibility for his offspring when required. I work part time, and it would stay that way, and for that I am also part of the lucky few. I'm not looking to ride every day for an hour, I'm looking to take a couple hours once a week.
I never thought of having kids, until my father recently passed. It has changed me, and I feel like having a family might moor me in this life. I am not making any decisions for at least a year, in the meantime, I am gathering stories and experiences of others. I understand that life changes, but why is it the women that seem to be giving up hobbies? Riding is much more than a hobby, something more akin to therapy?
. I don;t know what I was expecting, and I am truly grateful for the majority of the answers. I think deep down I have always known that kids are not for me, and this is just one more step towards cementing it.
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post #28 of 43 Old 01-17-2013, 08:23 AM
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You do not have to give up your passion. Will it take some rearranging of your schedule, probably but it is doable. You will adjust and you will be fine. You have a support system which is a huge plus. It doesn't have to be an "either or" situation. Bottom line, you make the right choice that is best for you.
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post #29 of 43 Old 01-17-2013, 07:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by goneriding View Post
It is hard but doable. My daughter was carted around the barn and hay field many times. When doing barn chores she would be in a playpen in the aisle. One time I was stacking hay in the barn and needed it to get in before it rained. She was overly tired, cranky, crying. I gave her a bottle and layed her down but she kept wanting me to hold her. Well, I had to let her cry herself to sleep, she did. But she also had a layer of hay particles on her, it was breezy that day! I just let her sleep and finished up doing hay. She eventually at the age of 7 started driving a truck hauling a hay wagon on the field while I threw bales. The truck was in 4 wheel drive and in low, she did exceptionally well! You do what you have to do!
I didn't/don't have a huge support system. My sons father works long hours(leaves at 3:30am and at times doesn't get home till 8pm, average is 5-6pm) my mom owns her own business and doesn't have a lot of time to babysit, my dad and I don't really speak anymore and my mother in law is evil, she will only baby sit if she has to(and horses are not a have to ) and she only does it if she gets something in return and will say "oh well I watched Quinton so now you HAVE to pay my mortgage, or buy my groceries or stack my wood..." but his 23 year old brother still lives at home and does nothing...boy I got off track, sorry. If you have a good support system and people who will babysit for you that is great, sadly most people don't have that.
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post #30 of 43 Old 01-18-2013, 01:29 AM
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Ok so I didn't read the whole thread but I just want to say yes you will lose a LOT of time with your horses. I have two boys age 2 and 6. I ride maybe a few times a year, but have a breeding operation of about 15 horses. I am kept pretty busy with that and if I didn't have that I could probably ride a few times a month. BUT it's well worth it if you really want kids. It's short term. Once my kids are in school I will ride daily again and my breeding operation will probably grow larger. I would never give up my kids or my horses. Both are such a huge part of my life I couldn't imagine my life with out either. I have to say tho, the horses are like my saving grace. Taking a time out from screaming, yelling fighting boys has never felt better than when I can go out and check on the broodmares, snuggle my favourite girl, pull the kids in the sled behind my riders, or snuggle a new born foal.
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