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post #11 of 56 Old 10-02-2012, 07:41 AM
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Joe4d, I am also a spanker. It only took one time for each of my kids...never been spanked since they were 3 but they always knew I could and would if they needed it.
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post #12 of 56 Old 10-02-2012, 09:59 AM
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i am by no means a parent but this post really made me think of my sister's 3 boys. they have the spanking and time out route and do chores route. depending on what it is of course but the best thing i have seen her do was when time out was just becoming something that happened and not a punishment she moved towards labor.

you do this ok scrub the floor for five minutes with a toothbrush... etc etc as they get older they get more time to scrub. after there time is up we have them tell us why they are sorry and what have they learned..
we also can change the labor to different things so its never something they can plan. as a 3 yo we use scrub floors, scrub toilet with toothbrush, and scrub stairs etc so we can keep the punishment knd of new and exciting.

seems to be working again(no one likes to clean floors)

good luck :)
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post #13 of 56 Old 10-02-2012, 10:27 AM
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Originally Posted by busysmurf View Post
Tonight wasn't to bad. He mouthed off pretty bad soon after we got home, so it was right into the timeout spot. Telling me to "shut it, he WILL ride the snowmobile" doesn't get a warning, does not pass go, does not collect $200. Once he stopped kicking the door (the spot faces a closet door), and stopped yelling at me, he sat for his 3 min., said he was sorry, and went out to play.

The rest of the night he's been pretty good. Only a few close calls with getting to sassy, but it's only taken 1 warning to get it to stop. Following direstions tonight has gone quite well.

Right now he is "grilling supper" with his play grill and being very silly. He was such a gentleman and blew on my grilled bbq ribs (wooden blocks), and tucked my napkin into my shirt for me, LOL
Since you mentioned how well behaved your son is at school (and thats a credit to you) he obviously understands respect and whats appropriate
I wonder if some of his behaviour that gets directed at you is a release thing - letting out all of that pent up 'naughtiness' he's had to hold on to all day? Could be he has a bit of resentment about pre-school and takes it out on you when he gets home?
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post #14 of 56 Old 10-02-2012, 10:36 AM
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Chiilaa gave GREAT advice. Redirect, redirect, and redirect..A child needs to know the reasoning behind you saying no, if not they don't exactly realize what they're doing wrong. No is just a word, it has no backing...Like getting in the chair with the swiffer (I'm impressed with that thinking) Explain to him that he isn't supposed to be in the chair because he could get hurt and you'd hate that, he could also knock something off of the fridge and get hurt as well.. I've also found a good threat that never gets old is when you tell them they may get hurt and will have to go to the doctor and get a shot..Lol that one works every time..

My family are spankers also though, I've had my bottom torn up a time or two..That IS effective but not necessary for every situation.. I'll spank my child if s/he needs it.

Originally Posted by Chiilaa View Post
Stick to your guns, I hear it gets a lot easier once they move out LOL!
Ha, at 24 I go home JUST to give my dad crap..I get MUCH more pleasure out of it now because I am 24 and beyond time out.. I, however, am NOT above wrestling and him holding me down, dragging me outside and locking the door (I am very good at getting back into the house, I've sneaked out of it enough to know how to sneak back in.) and any of antic that I know is it good fun but gives him a hard time..We get much craftier as we get older..The teen years suck but that's because they're in that "Cool" stage and know everything but it gets better..

I am Sparkly Meanie Doodie Head and I approve this message!
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post #15 of 56 Old 10-02-2012, 11:30 AM
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I wanted to add - I totally understand the furstration. DS was my challenge child in the younger years, DD was saving up for the teen years (she was my easy baby, had she been anything like DS I would have never had a second child, lol). Hang in there - it DOES get better!
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post #16 of 56 Old 10-02-2012, 12:39 PM
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Originally Posted by busysmurf View Post
As for the cookies, they are a VERY rare treat in our house, and I only ever get Nilla wafers. Any type of "junk" food (corn chips, the cookies, grahm crackers, etc.) is kept on top of the fridge, anything that can be kept cold is in the fridge, as we don't actually really have any cabinets (long story). He has devised a way to reach the top of the fridge via kitchen chair and swiffer handle. Inside the fridge, he just climbs the shelves.
This blows my mind. He's treating your house like his own personal playground. I don't have any experience with little kids - but I do clearly know that my rear end would have been red if I had even dreamed of climbing the shelves in the fridge.

Does he pull this crap with your husband?
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post #17 of 56 Old 10-02-2012, 12:47 PM
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well tell me how that fancy degree is working 9 out of 10 times with your spoiled son.

Last edited by tinyliny; 10-02-2012 at 12:56 PM.
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post #18 of 56 Old 10-02-2012, 12:53 PM
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We could start a whole 'nother thread on the subject of spanking. I spanked my children. I also HIT them some. Hitting them out of anger is a very bad way to parent. It only teaches them to hit as a response to anger and that parents are scary and unpredictable beings. It never got the correct response from my first son, but the second son, yes, it worked. For him, he knew he had done wrong and was actually kind of "relieved" to be briefly spanked because he knew that this set the balance back to normal. When he had done something wrong, he knew that it must be righted. So, the spanking was a way of paying the debt, and then balance was restored and he felt "clean" again. As long as I did not berate him endlessly afterward. What's done is done and to pile on shame afterward is a mistake

the older child, the AS child, did not buy into the idea that he had done something wrong in the first place. Therefore, spanking him was not bringing things back into balance, but putting them OUT of balance. He felt wronged, and was then duty bound to fight back against the perceived injustice.

So, it's not always the best choice, but I do beleive that an occasional short swat to get a child's attention is effective.
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post #19 of 56 Old 10-02-2012, 12:54 PM
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Reminds me, I was walking to check out line at grocery store passed a book rack, One of the books was titled "Making Kids behave"... My x's pain in rear kid picked the book up showed it to me and asked if I thought the book would work, I flipped it over read the back, then hit him in the back of the head with the book,
"Yep I think this book will work great"
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post #20 of 56 Old 10-02-2012, 12:56 PM
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YOu are just a hoot, JOe. Just a hoot. And your parenting experience?
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