I've run out of ideas. - Page 5

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I've run out of ideas.

This is a discussion on I've run out of ideas. within the Parenting forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category
  • What all can i teach my intelligent3yr old kid

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    10-02-2012, 11:17 PM
Originally Posted by dbarabians    
OP your son has your number and knows what he can get away with.
Any child that raises his voice to me gets reminded that I will no tolerate it. They don't do it again. I do not believe in cprporal punishment but my children to this day will not raise their voice to me, back talk, or refuse to do anything I ask.
First off I don't ask them to do anything I would not.
OP your son understands that for three minutes he has to be good then butter up to you and say I'm sorry. Yet not mean it. You set the rules you set the punishment you set the time limits for it.
If your horse refuses to move to the right, kicks at you or stands in your way you reprimand him without uses force. They get the picuture that you are in charge. They respcet you.
Sorry to say this your son does not respect you.
You earn respect by being consistent firm and fair. No 1,2, 3, now your in trouble. Nip it the first time. Harshly enough verbally to get his attention.
I'm trying to get to that point!!!! :) I've got the 9 yr old figured out (for now, LOL), but they are polar opposites so I'm starting over with the 3 yr old.
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    10-02-2012, 11:27 PM
Green Broke
I'd rather have been spanked as a child than be mentally and emotionally torn down with harsh words, but that's just me..You don't have to make your child feel like crap about themselves to get your point across..I've been there and it just creates bitterness down the road.. My dad and I fought because of it, I literally felt like **** and that I was a horrible and worthless person, why else would my parent bring me down?... To me that's not acceptable.
    10-02-2012, 11:37 PM
Drumrunner I did emotionally or verbally ABUSE my daughters. I could and still do voice my displeasure with a look or the tone of my voice. I did not yell at them in anger but they did know fully well I meant business.
Nonverbal comunnication is as powerful as the spoken word.
My children and I have never fought verbally or physically. There was no need to. Shalom
    10-02-2012, 11:39 PM
I agree with DB, everyone else good advise Mammas and Papas!
All methods can work well as long as they are consistent in a no holds barred, I mean business way. You know that!
Mine is a perfect angel in public and with family. I think it's because we are the Mom's they try and push us because some days E can really take me to my limit!
I would extend his time out and do it on the second infraction, stop and no means STOP AND NO. I use the word NO, when I mean it. NO makes her stop in her tracks. If it's something minor I say her name in a stern tone.

What kind of rewards do you give? (other than snacks?)
I have some cool stickers, special glitter pens, and the biggest reward is COLD HARD CASH! LOL! I started early with minor chores and small amounts, kids looovvveeee quarters! Now I'm up to dollars and fives for good grades and chores completed. My teachers cornered me a while back and asked how I got E to be so meticulous on her work... COLD HARD CASH I answered! They loved it! She's at the top of her class and their daughters are in there with her and kept using E's work as an example (I wasn't too hip on that) but still they couldn't get their girls to make sure EVERY t was crossed and every I dotted. As soon as they started giving change for good papers the work got better.
Now don't jump on me guys! But I started this to teach her LIFE lessons. ONE she has to do GOOD work in the future for an employer, TWO... SHE needs to make her own money for things she wants, I'm no bank.
The kicker is what can be earned can be taken away! I have a jar on the counter. It's the WHINE FINE (DH spelled it Wine!!! Ha!) I get a quarter every time both of them whine! Nothing upsets E more than having to give up HER hard earned money for something she's done wrong. Just the mention of the whine fine makes her stop in her tracks and apologize profusely!

JWTA: You are a GREAT MOM, keep it up! HUGS!!!
tinyliny and Cinder like this.
    10-02-2012, 11:45 PM
I DID NOT emotioanlly abuse

I just admitted to child abuse in the above post. It should state that I did NOT verbally abuse my daughters. Sorry Shalom
    10-02-2012, 11:52 PM
Green Broke
Why is it that for your (general) way to be right you have to make everyone else's (general) way wrong?
    10-02-2012, 11:52 PM
Green Broke
Originally Posted by dbarabians    
I just admitted to child abuse in the above post. It should state that I did NOT verbally abuse my daughters. Sorry Shalom
Lol I understood what you meant, I did get a giggle out of it though. My dad can look at me wrong and I'll start to cry..Lots of mixed emotions there to this day.
    10-02-2012, 11:56 PM
I've permanently banned stickers in my house, LOL! Trouble 1 & Trouble 2 used our spare tv the background for a sticker movie. Took me a long time to get them off. They also tend to end up on clothes and I miss them in the wash so they get baked on in the dryer.

Rewards besides an xtra snack for DS can b pennies (his fav!), getting to have a "picnic" on the living room floor, an xtra story at bedtime.

I don't intend to make my kids sound out of control, they aren't (at least compared to a lot of other kids I see). It's just me getting frustrated with a VERY active, intelligent 3 yr old boy.
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    10-02-2012, 11:58 PM
Originally Posted by dbarabians    
I just admitted to child abuse in the above post. It should state that I did NOT verbally abuse my daughters. Sorry Shalom
I knew that's what you meant, but I still giggled:P
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    10-02-2012, 11:59 PM
Originally Posted by themacpack    
Why is it that for your (general) way to be right you have to make everyone else's (general) way wrong?
??? Not sure to what you're referring to.
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