Josh and I are actually the most strict out of all of us, I just don't see the harm in allowing her to run down the sidewalk at the ducks at the park. She has rules and boundaries when I have her. She is extremely spoiled being the only child and grandchild and with no cousins her age. Her mother lets her throw tantrums and bribes her with toys to be good(she sends me videos of it thinking its cute or funny, this was another big reason she and Josh were divorced), wheras she rarely to never throws a fit with us because she knows it wont be tolerated. The environment at our house is very structured. I worry that it is confusing for her to have two drastically different sets of parents, but she seems extremely happy at either house.
Her mother and I get along great(regardless of the fact that I just don't like her, for reasons I wont get into but I have tried and just cannot respect a person who does the things she does as a parent and as a person), we have had our moments though.
She used to gripe at and constantly text Josh like they were still married. He rarely said anything because he didnt want to fight with her, so he was just hateful to her all the time. I put my foot down a few weeks ago and told her she lost the right to gripe at him and boss him around when she cheated on him 2 years ago, that she isnt his wife anymore so she needed to back off and give some space. There was a big blow up between she and I, but we got over it quickly and she has drastically reduced her texting Josh and hasnt griped at him since. Boundaries had to be set. We talk about Brookie all the time, both of us agree that our own feelings don't matter as long as she is well cared for.
Saddlebag- Yes, there is jealousy on both sides! But we are all working on it.