Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Southeastern PA
I am not a step parent, but I am a foster parent. I've raised 30 kids who are not my own, all came to me having been raised in a very different way than I raise kids. My foster kids are teens, and so tend to be stuck in their ways more, so it takes a while to break them of old habits.
For me, I ignore the way the parents raised them. Especially as they are living with me because of the poor parenting choices their parents made. The minute they walk into my house, they are expected to follow my rules.
I try to be fair and consistent. Unless it's something just outrageous or dangerous, I don't throw out new unknown rules. My expectations are clear, and don't often change.
As far as the parents, few of them like me as they view me as the enemy as that's easier than taking a look at their own choices. It doesn't matter to me, I am polite and pass essential information. If it gets to them complaining, then that's the offices job to deal with that. I'd suggest the same thing with you, it's your husbands job to deal with issues with his ex. And never talk badly about the parents in front of the kids.