The new woman in their lives.. - Page 3
 
 

       The Horse Forum > Life Beyond Horses > Parenting

The new woman in their lives..

This is a discussion on The new woman in their lives.. within the Parenting forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

    Like Tree21Likes

     
    LinkBack Thread Tools
        04-06-2014, 03:37 AM
      #21
    Super Moderator
    Love the above!

    As my wise old mother would say, "There's more than one way to skin a cat!"
         
    Sponsored Links
    Advertisement
     
        04-08-2014, 01:16 AM
      #22
    Foal
    Thanks for all your comments guys, really helpful!

    Everything seems to be going alright so far. Spend a day this weekend with the kids and bf, ice skating and riding and I think it went really well.

    The mother and I seem to be getting along although she's been pressuring to find out my age for the past week. Both through her asking people and getting the kids to find out. (unbeknown to me at the time). I shouldn't have been so naive when one of the kids asked me. I told him and looking back I should've known it was the mother trying to find out. Anyway I'm learning. :/ Poor boy was upset after going back to his mothers and he felt he was betraying me by telling his mum. Sweetheart!
    Makes me feel terrible like I've put him in the middle but no one told me she'd been calling to find out until it was too late. I guess now every things out in the open, which is good.

    My bf and I have a big horse comp at the end of the month that the kids have been allowed to go to. Going to be a massive weekend.. 6 horses, 3 floats. The 3 kids, myself and bf along with mine and his parents and the ex wife and her partner. Just hope it all goes well. I hope everyone can just be mature adults about the whole thing and get along for the kids sake.

    I must say I did feel slightly awkward and out of place when the ex and her partner came to the house to pick up the kids. I felt as if I shouldn't have been there, in her old house, in her old lounge room. Ugh, come to think of it her old bed. All feels bad. I know it's 6 years ago but I still got the vibe she wasn't impressed to see me there. Just hope we can all be civilised for the kids sake and that they don't pick up any bad vibes.
         
        04-08-2014, 03:19 AM
      #23
    Super Moderator
    It can never be without some kind of "vibe", but it will hopefully become less noticeable. Hope the comp (or was that "camp") goes well.
         
        04-08-2014, 10:57 AM
      #24
    Trained
    You said he hasn't really dated before, so this is a really new situation for her as well. She's probably feeling some uncomfortable jealousy and even insecurity. Give it time and continue to be yourself. I think it will end up alright, she doesn't seem like a lunatic, just a normal woman for the most part.
         
        04-12-2014, 08:52 PM
      #25
    Weanling
    I am very familiar with this situation, except I am familiar with it from the father's point of view. It was very important to me, to have my significant others to meet my kid's mom. Once a relationship got serious enough that they met my kids, they soon thereafter met the ex. We, as the adults, needed to be on the same page with the child related issues. I also feel it is a respect issue as well.My ex and I also have very defined roles for significant others/steps that we worked out early on when she remarried. But then again, people say we had the most amicable divorce they ever heard of.So my point of view may not work for every body.
    MN Tigerstripes likes this.
         
        04-19-2014, 04:42 PM
      #26
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by moo moo    
    I've just started seeing a guy that has 3 children from a previous marriage. (separated over 6 years ago) But I'm finding it hard adjusting to this new role.

    I feel perhaps it'd have been easier if I wasn't his first partner after his wife but anyway. I feel as if I'm a fish out of water and am worried about treading on any toes.

    The kids are great and seem to like me although I've only meet them twice so far. (He gets them once a week). I didn't want to meet them until he felt completely 100% sure on our relationship etc.

    Today the pair of them had coffee and a chat about allowing the kids to work their horses a couple of days a week rather than just the one day he gets to see them. Which is great and I'm really pleased about both him and the kids as I know how much they love spending time with their father.
    It came up in the conversation that she had asked the children if I was younger and prettier than her. Now is it just me or is this completely inappropriate? I just feel so awkward about this whole thing. I'm so nervous the mother is going to make it into a competition or something and I don't what that.

    I'm not trying to take the role of their mother or anything and am worried just by being with him that I could possibly ruin the chances of the children's parents getting along.

    Any advice would be appreciated. I feel like a dork putting all this on here but not really sure what I can do or how to act in this situation.
    Separated or divorced?
         
        04-21-2014, 02:42 AM
      #27
    Foal
    Divorced.
         
        04-29-2014, 10:49 PM
      #28
    Green Broke
    I haven't visited this thread in so long! I hope by now, you've been able to get all of the sound advice you were looking for! Sounds like you're doing well and keeping the kids' feelings as top priority- good job! :)
         
        05-05-2014, 10:35 AM
      #29
    Foal
    Thanks for all your help guys. Unfortunately it hasn't worked out. We broke up on Wednesday. I will give more details later.
    Posted via Mobile Device
         
        05-05-2014, 03:50 PM
      #30
    Green Broke
    Eeep.... I'm sorry to hear that. ):
         

    Quick Reply
    Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.
    Message:
    Options

    Register Now

    In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

    Already have a Horse Forum account?
    Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

    New to the Horse Forum?
    Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

    User Name:
    Password
    Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
    Password:
    Confirm Password:
    Email Address
    Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
    Email Address:

    Log-in

    Human Verification

    In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


    Old Thread Warning
    This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

    Thread Tools

    Similar Threads
    Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
    Myself, Oliver, And Our Lives <3 Oliveren15 Member Journals 48 02-21-2014 11:17 PM
    To anyone who lives in Montana or has been there... amp23 Trail Riding 3 07-13-2011 08:04 PM
    Who here lives in Oregon? Bucky's Buddy Horse Tack and Equipment 9 05-12-2008 07:39 PM
    Days of our lives *ArabianPrincess* Member Journals 6 05-16-2007 11:10 PM



    All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:13 PM.


    Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
    Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
    Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0