The new woman in their lives.. - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 31 Old 04-06-2014, 02:37 AM
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Love the above!

As my wise old mother would say, "There's more than one way to skin a cat!"
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post #22 of 31 Old 04-08-2014, 12:16 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks for all your comments guys, really helpful!

Everything seems to be going alright so far. Spend a day this weekend with the kids and bf, ice skating and riding and i think it went really well.

The mother and I seem to be getting along although she's been pressuring to find out my age for the past week. Both through her asking people and getting the kids to find out. (unbeknown to me at the time). I shouldn't have been so naive when one of the kids asked me. I told him and looking back I should've known it was the mother trying to find out. Anyway I'm learning. :/ Poor boy was upset after going back to his mothers and he felt he was betraying me by telling his mum. Sweetheart!
Makes me feel terrible like I've put him in the middle but no one told me she'd been calling to find out until it was too late. I guess now every things out in the open, which is good.

My bf and I have a big horse comp at the end of the month that the kids have been allowed to go to. Going to be a massive weekend.. 6 horses, 3 floats. The 3 kids, myself and bf along with mine and his parents and the ex wife and her partner. Just hope it all goes well. I hope everyone can just be mature adults about the whole thing and get along for the kids sake.

I must say I did feel slightly awkward and out of place when the ex and her partner came to the house to pick up the kids. I felt as if I shouldn't have been there, in her old house, in her old lounge room. ugh, come to think of it her old bed. All feels bad. I know it's 6 years ago but I still got the vibe she wasn't impressed to see me there. Just hope we can all be civilised for the kids sake and that they don't pick up any bad vibes.
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post #23 of 31 Old 04-08-2014, 02:19 AM
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it can never be without some kind of "vibe", but it will hopefully become less noticeable. hope the comp (or was that "camp") goes well.
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post #24 of 31 Old 04-08-2014, 09:57 AM
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You said he hasn't really dated before, so this is a really new situation for her as well. She's probably feeling some uncomfortable jealousy and even insecurity. Give it time and continue to be yourself. I think it will end up alright, she doesn't seem like a lunatic, just a normal woman for the most part.
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post #25 of 31 Old 04-12-2014, 07:52 PM
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I am very familiar with this situation, except I am familiar with it from the father's point of view. It was very important to me, to have my significant others to meet my kid's mom. Once a relationship got serious enough that they met my kids, they soon thereafter met the ex. We, as the adults, needed to be on the same page with the child related issues. I also feel it is a respect issue as well.My ex and I also have very defined roles for significant others/steps that we worked out early on when she remarried. But then again, people say we had the most amicable divorce they ever heard of.So my point of view may not work for every body.
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post #26 of 31 Old 04-19-2014, 03:42 PM
Join Date: Dec 2013
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Originally Posted by moo moo View Post
I've just started seeing a guy that has 3 children from a previous marriage. (separated over 6 years ago) But I'm finding it hard adjusting to this new role.

I feel perhaps it'd have been easier if I wasn't his first partner after his wife but anyway. I feel as if I'm a fish out of water and am worried about treading on any toes.

The kids are great and seem to like me although I've only meet them twice so far. (He gets them once a week). I didn't want to meet them until he felt completely 100% sure on our relationship etc.

Today the pair of them had coffee and a chat about allowing the kids to work their horses a couple of days a week rather than just the one day he gets to see them. Which is great and I'm really pleased about both him and the kids as I know how much they love spending time with their father.
It came up in the conversation that she had asked the children if I was younger and prettier than her. Now is it just me or is this completely inappropriate? I just feel so awkward about this whole thing. I'm so nervous the mother is going to make it into a competition or something and I don't what that.

I'm not trying to take the role of their mother or anything and am worried just by being with him that I could possibly ruin the chances of the children's parents getting along.

Any advice would be appreciated. I feel like a dork putting all this on here but not really sure what I can do or how to act in this situation.
Separated or divorced?
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post #27 of 31 Old 04-21-2014, 01:42 AM Thread Starter
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post #28 of 31 Old 04-29-2014, 09:49 PM
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I haven't visited this thread in so long! I hope by now, you've been able to get all of the sound advice you were looking for! Sounds like you're doing well and keeping the kids' feelings as top priority- good job! :)
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post #29 of 31 Old 05-05-2014, 09:35 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Australia
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Thanks for all your help guys. Unfortunately it hasn't worked out. We broke up on Wednesday. I will give more details later.
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post #30 of 31 Old 05-05-2014, 02:50 PM
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Eeep.... I'm sorry to hear that. ):

The sensitivity of the internet baffles me.
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