Parenting Funnies - Page 11 - The Horse Forum
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post #101 of 130 Old 06-24-2013, 08:30 PM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ontario
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My bro and his wife were having a heated argument. My query to my just turned 10 nephew was if this troubles him. "Noo, I like watching them make up".
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post #102 of 130 Old 06-29-2013, 10:14 AM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Perth, Western Australia
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So it's dinner time in our house. 3yo DD2 finishes hers very quickly, and asks for more. I asked her to wait (I was still eating at this point), so she comes over to me, and asks if she can have some of mine. Again I refuse her, so she asks if she can watch me eat. O.o Creepy child.

Same child, getting her dressed in front of the heater on a cool evening, says to me that she is cold. I point out that she is in front of the heater, and so is getting warmed up. She replies "I'm cold on the inside Mum". Weird, creepy emo child...

Mods, grant me the serenity to see the opinions I cannot change, courage to change the ones that should change, and the wisdom to spot the trolls.
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post #103 of 130 Old 07-02-2013, 05:23 PM
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: South Dakota
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My three year old nephew was hanging on to his peter.... I said "why are you hanging on to your peter?" he said "my what?" I said "your p p" he said "my what?" I pointed and said "that" He replied "you mean my junk!" LOL I just split!
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post #104 of 130 Old 07-02-2013, 05:41 PM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Hour and a Half from Town!
Posts: 6,324
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:)))). These are great!

So DH said to DD two nights ago during an impromptu dance outburst:

DH: "I love ya, ya little bugger!"
Her reply?
"I ain't no booger! Cause if I was I'd be wayyyyy up yer nose where you couldn't reach me, jus haaaangggginggg onnnnn!"

LOL!!! We laughed till we cried, where do they come up with this stuff?
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post #105 of 130 Old 07-10-2013, 12:27 AM
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 12,248
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I am not a parent YET, but I have a hilarious story when one of my nephews was being potty trained. Before going outside this one afternoon, I asked him to go try to go use his potty, so he stripped and took everything off waist down and went and sat down on his potty.

We waited.....and waited.........and waited..........

I eventually asked him "Nicholas, try to push pee out buddy, try it"......then he looks at me, and looks down between his legs, grabs the tip of his wheaner and grabs it to open the end of it like a bag of chips by pinching the end and looks at it and says "pee!! come out!!!".

I started laughing so hard, I think I MIGHT HAVE PEED MYSELF! such adorable little ones.
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post #106 of 130 Old 08-09-2013, 10:09 AM
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: SW UK
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Money is short in a friends family. He is a single parent father of a boy, 9 and girl 5. He has a full time job and although if he were to take a second job things would be easier on the pocket, he would see little of the children.
So, a big treat was to drive nearly 2 hours to the zoo. Lunches and drinks were packed in their back packs and off they went.
The had their lunch and Dad gave them some money to go buy themselves and ice cream. He remained sitting outside watching the people go by.
Several minutes had past and no children. He waited a few minutes more and went into the busy shop. His children were not there. A few minutes frantic searching in the area did nothing more than increase his blood pressure. Finally he found one of the keepers and told what had happened.
Immediately the gates were closed and all cars checked on leaving. Announcements were made so not only keepers but the public were looking for the missing pair.
After searching the police were called and were fast to arrive. Descriptions were being taken when, from a wooded area, the two appeared non the worse for wear.
Their father would probably killed them if the strong arm of the law hadn't been present. They were berated, made to apologise to all around and sent back to the car whilst their father further apologised.
The children were quiet all the way home and on getting there were sent to have a bath before going straight to bed with no tea.
Whilst they were together in the bath father relented about the no tea and made them some boiled eggs. The pair were taking their time so he went to investigate. As he went up the stairs he could hear splashing and mutterings. On opening the door there was a lot of scrabbling to hide something but, to late! The pair were sharing their bath with a penguin.

Turns out that when they had seen the penguins earlier there was one bird all on his own and the children thought he had no friends. They decided to take him home and had escaped parental vision (and forgone ices) to rescue Lonely, as they had named the bird.
Having caught him when no one was looking, they took him off to the woods and put him in a backpack.
Father called the zoo to say what had happened and again to apologise. He offered to return the bird there and then but was told to leave it in the bathroom overnight. it had been fed so would be fine.
Next day they had to drive back to return Lonely to his rightful owners ! Luckily the zoo thought it highly amusing and ingenious that two young children could bird nap on a very busy day without anyone seeing them. Free tickets were issued for the family for the full season.
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post #107 of 130 Old 08-14-2013, 09:33 AM
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Germany- but not German =D
Posts: 5,151
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I have no children of my own, but my friend's kid is absolutely hysterical.

Sat in the garden with a glass of wine, she looks over to see DS feeding his ice cream to the dog. One lick for me, one lick for you. Tells him to stop, its not nice and the food was bought for him. He turns around, stomps away and she calls after him. Has a HUGE hole in the back of his new tshirt. 'Son, where have you been playing, you have a hole in your tshirt!' Keep in mind this kid is 3.. turns around, hand on hip and sighs. 'Mummy, its a pocket' and storms away. He had mistaken the tiny pocket on front as to what she was asking. I spat a mouthful of wine over her.

Another time, at the yard, he was riding their little pony. Begin trotting and he lets out a yowl. 'Mummy! No. I said NO! It hurts my winky'- My riding lesson was futile after that.
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post #108 of 130 Old 08-14-2013, 10:03 AM
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Colorado
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^I literally "lol"d xD
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post #109 of 130 Old 08-17-2013, 04:02 PM
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: enfeild london england
Posts: 1,700
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comments that children make.

hiya and thank you i had tears running down my face and so did my girlfrend nancy.
i was hopeing to have children with vanessa but sadley she passed on.
and nancy is wheelchair bound and she cant but i enjoyed the coments all your children have made we had tears comeing out of our eyes with laughter.
to all and every one of you frends on horse forum thanks for shareing them.
im still in stiches.
one last thing was the one about the drive through was it mc donalds as thay mess my order up some times lol.
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post #110 of 130 Old 08-23-2013, 03:06 PM
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ontario
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My 7 yr old son and I had joined another gal for coffee at the local watering hole. Her husband, a trucker had parked the rig and was walking to join us. He was short and rather roly-poly and wearing a red shirt. My son spotted him out the window and pronounced "he looks like Santa Clause". Immediately I wanted to crawl under the table but the gal burst out laughing and said it was true, he did.
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