Parenting Funnies

When I was about 6 I wanted so much to be a "Pixie", so I talked my brother into cutting my hair in a Pixie cut. He didnt' have any scissors, so using lawn sheers, he cut a zigzag pattern into my bangs. I loved it! Mom did not.

How about those things you used to say to your parents that would get them sooo upset, and now your kids say the same things!!

I used to yell "FINE" at my parents constantly. It is now Jamie's response to most everything. And I don't use the word much anymore. Must be genetic.

This one is old, but I still laugh. My dad & uncle were playing in the haymow when they were kids. My uncle pushed my dad out of it, and my dad broke his arm. When asked why he pushed my dad, my uncle said he didn't...the cow did. And to prove it, he led his calf up to the haymow.

Now that's funny! Sounds like something that could happen at my house (if she had a sibling to throw the cat at).

A convo that went down in my barn one day between Morgan and a friend (that is a little younger than her).
Girls were watching Merit in the pasture, he was letting it all hang out. Convo went like this
Cadence - What's that thing???
Morgan - What thing?
Cadence - That dangly thing on his belly.
Morgan - That's his 'business'.

That all stems from an earlier conversation when she walked in the barn when I happened to be breeding a mare, she was very little and wouldn't have understood had I explained so I simply told her "None of your business." Apparently that translated later to his parts being "his business" since it wasn't hers.

My six year old little nephew was spending the summer with my parents (opa and oma...dutch word for grandpa and grandma). Anyways, my mom was waiting for her grandson to step out of the bathtub so she could put a towel around him. As he was stepping out, he was winging his willy-doo around. My mom pipes up "If you keep playing with it like that....it will fall off".
My nephew stops playing with it and looks at grandma with big round eyes.
"Oma....is that how your's fell off??"

My dad couldn't barely stand....he was laughing so hard.

I had to take my cousins daughter - then about 4 years - for a hospital appointment in Great Ormand Street, London UK.

The American Dr she was to see specialised in Cystic Fibrosis which, at that time was only just being recognised.
When we went in there was this very tall, very good looking man with wonderful laughing eyes but he was also very, very black.

Debs did a variety of tests and was jabbering away all the time. She then went silent for a bit and asked "Why are you black?"
"Well. My people came from a place called Africa where the sun is very hot so we kept getting very sun burnt until we were born black"
"Oh," Long pause, "Like burning toast?"
"Yes, just like burning toast but, you cannot scrape the black bits off me."
"Is your bottom black?"
"Yes it is."
This caused giggling before she remarked "Your Mummy and Daddy must have sunbathed in the nuddy!"
He was trying not to laugh to hard as Debs was being so serious.

She jabbered on about other things and then just as she was getting dressed she turned and said to him"When you go sunbathing you want to hold your hands upwards because they aren't properly black!"

I was about 19 at the time and because of rural living, had had nothing to do with any coloured people - it was the same for Debs. She had never met any black person before. I started to apologise, not wanting to offend but, he was not upset in the slightest and understood it was childish curiosity.
Debs became one of his favourite patients and he saw her periodically every year.

I just remembered something I did at the innocent age of 8 - our 2nd grade teacher nonchalantly told the class one day of how sugar and salt both look alike, and someone a long time ago switched the two.... I don't remember the details, but that's the extent of what she said. It was close to April 1, (April Fool's Day), and that day landed on a Sunday. We always had a nice big breakfast before church - bacon, eggs, toast, and my dad was a "2 tsp's of sugar in his coffee guy"..... Well, needless to say, I arose at 5 am, expertly poured the sugar into a bowl, then filled the sugar dish with salt. Then I used a funnel to pour the sugar into the salt shaker, all the while snickering at how the family would laugh and joke at my clever April Fool's Day surprise at the breakfast table. This is what happened instead : All the food prepared, and time only to eat and then get ready for church. I sat silently with a smile as I watched my father pour 2 heaping teaspoons of salt into his coffee, and my brother and mother with the salt shaker, shaking sugar all over their eggs. I, of course just passively began eating as I watched the scene unfold. Suddenly, my dad spewed his gulp of coffee across his plate as the other two were gagging on their sugar-laden eggs! Then I suddenly chirped, "April Fool's Day Everybody!" Boy, was I in big trouble! All that food went into the garbage, my dad with no coffee, and just enough time for everyone to gulp down a bowl of cold cereal before church. I don't remember, but I think I was grounded to my room for a week!

We have three big dogs (two German Shepherds and a Rottweiler) and two cats. We were visiting a friend who has a little dog (min pin). My one year old son saw the min pin and squealed with excitement. "Oooh! CAT!"

I was running a busy riding school and two of the pony mares we had bought turned out to be in foal.

I had a lot of children arrive in the morning and stay all day. Some owned their own ponies but many didn't.
My rules were simple to the parents/ f you leave your children under my care then my rules go. I will deal with any incident as I feel fit. If hey complain, bring them for a ride and take them home.

It worked and I always tried to play fair.

I do not believe in hiding things from children when it comes to animals so, when it was confirmed the mares were in foal I told them exactly what was happening and how the foal would be born.

One mare was exceedingly helpful and foaled at 7 a.m. Saturday morning. It was a big colt foal and well on his feet by the time the children started to arrive. I showed them the placenta and the umbilicus explaining that this is how he was fed when in his mothers belly - just the same as they were when they were in their mothers tummy.
My cousins daughter (7) went home and told her mother how Lace's baby had been born. How she the foal had been in her tummy in a lot of water and been fed through the umbilical cord. The water was there so if the mother got knocked the foal wouldn't be hurt and before he was born the sack broke and the water came out making it greasy for the foal to slip out.
She had taken it all in and understood it all.
He mother then asked "Who was the daddy? Was it Pepsi or Rocky?"
"Don't be silly mummy, horses only have mummies they do't have daddies!"

I get a call from my cousin asking if it would be possible to take the education back a step and explain how the foal got there in the first place!

I found that these children would ask me all sorts of questions they would not ask their parents - they often had me thinking hard and fast as to quite what or how much to tell them!

Those are all so funny! I have a 4 year old, but I swear I'm at a blank for funny stuff. I'll have to come back later when they come to me :)

I'm not a parent but I do have a 6 yr old brother who's done/said some crazy stuff.

Here's one off the top of my head:

There is a restaurant called The LibraryV near us. UBER expensive AMAZING food. We go there once in a blue moon for special occasions. Well it was going to be my sister's 16th birthday and my dad and I were discussing what we were going to do for her. It was the weekend we had my siblings at our house but Miki(sister) was elsewhere for some reason. Aiden, my brother, was in the other room but man that boy knows how to evesdrop.

Convo:
Me: Well what are we going to do for Miki's birthday?
Dad: I don't know I was thinking of taking you guys to The Library.
Aiden(shouting from the other room): We can't go to the library because I don't read.
~Cue dad and I practically dying of laughter~

I had to explain to him it was a restaurant

Once we got to the restaurant convo:
Aiden: are there books in here?
Me: Nope only steaks
~Aiden thinks for a minute and I see the gears turning~
Aiden: Are there steaks in the other library?
Me: No only this library has steaks
Aiden: Well they should all have steaks
Me: Why is that?
Aiden: Cause steaks are good and books aren't so good but if they made books out of steaks then they would be good.

Oh the logic of a child. I can't wait to have my own someday. =)