Parenting Funnies

Every Sunday morning I make a fry, it's the only day of the week we are all home together, except during the turf season when I may have to do declarations when I may be gone for two hours.

Anyway, today my daughter comments that Daddy is oldest at the table. He corrects her and informs her that no, Mommy is actually the oldest (by 3 days... he's my toy boy). She looks between us both and says "but Mommy can't be the oldest, Daddy you have lines on your face!". I started laughing, to which he asks what she means by lines.. and she replies with "the lines old people get on their head and eyes".

Couldnt stop laughing, yay me for no wrinkles! Hahaha!

Maple, that's awesome! Hug your little one extra today :)

Hilarious post on my fb wall this morning from my best friend. Her daughter is completely horse crazy, she is 4 going on 5. She's rotten as all get out and has claimed ownership of Lacey & Merit. DH is a softie and told her he will share Lacey with her

Cadence is her daughter, Faye is her American Girl doll...

"So Cadence is up early this morning and I hear her saying sit up straight and if you are going to cry you need to get down from that horse, he knows you're scared. Yes Faye, I said get down you are being a sissy (big sigh). So I go in her room she has her horse and Faye in her room giving riding lessons lmao! Any idea where this has come from? I'm dying laughing over here."

Fwiw, I haven't ever called a student a sissy. I have had a few cryers over the years though.

Another funny popped into my head this morning.

When my triplets were just learning to talk, the first word that came out of their mouth was Sassy...the name of my former sheltie.
When father's day came around, my girls were sitting in their highchairs and their dad asked them with a big grin on his face "Who's number one around here?"
Thier reply "SASSY!"

I couldn't help giggling as I prepared breakfast.

Saw this on fb and couldn't quit laughing.

I watch my friend's 2yr old and 6mo old a couple days a week. I put the 2yr old at the kitchen bar to eat lunch, he asked me for a spoon and I told him to use the spoon he had eaten yogurt with a couple minutes prior. He got a little upset and told me to wash it first. As I handed him his clean spoon he gave me his empty plate and says "all done with this, now you wash it!!".

Oh yes.... I live to wash your dishes...

Same day he dropped a few crackers, looked at them on the floor and goes "It's ok, Poochie eat. POOCHIE!!!!". I think he's been hanging around here a bit too much, he's obviously well acquainted with my 4 legged vacuum!

I worked with a gal who had adopted two children on two occasions. The boy was now barely 4. All the formalities had been done for the new baby girl and they agreed to meet with the social worker in an adjacent parking lot. The parking lot belonged to Safeway. When he was in grade three his teacher was asking questions about siblings. He stood up proudly and declared that his sister came from Safeway and was adamant about the fact. Hi mother told me he won't listen to why it seemed like she did. He's right and they're trying to fool him.

OMG I just spent the last half hour laughing soo hard! Will be back to share my own stories :)
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When my younger son was about 10 he was lying on the couch reading with his siamese cat up by his head on the pillow. A couple of heaves and out popped a kitten. Of course she immediately bent in half to wash the kitten. It was at that exact same moment my son turned his head as the cat took her first lick of the kitten. "MOM - TINA'S HAD A KITTEN". Yes, I was watching. "GROSS, SHE HAD IT OUT HER MOUTH". No she didn't, I was watching. She bent around to wash it. There was no way in hell he would listen as I tried to explain the birthing process. She'd given birth from her mouth. All I could think of was Lord have mercy on him when he tells that at school.