Pregnant, husband wants to sell horse! Help! - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 20 Old 01-09-2013, 12:57 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Pregnant, husband wants to sell horse! Help!

So, first, my husband is a wonderful man. Not much into horses before me but has really tried and pitches in to help with my gelding.

I have a 15.3h TB off the track, and about 14y/o now. Dressage and hunter/jumper training, also does some western. Very smart guy, learns quickly. I inherited him from a friend (long story), and we've come to work fairly well together. Husband wants to sell him now that I'm pregnant because he is terrified for me to ride....my horse tends to spook. I expect it when I ride him and it has been a long, long time since he really unseated me. But he is far from bombproof and he is not getting all the exercise he needs at the moment. So, what he says about selling my horse now to someone who can ride him and work with him as much as he needs makes sense, with the knowledge that we would get another horse in the near future. (We would, he wants to get into riding).

Problem is, it breaks my heart. I love his personality and spunkiness. How do I find someone who will work with him and not give up on him? I've let my grad school work get in the way of training him. So it's my fault really....which is why I am nervous to sell him.

Any advice is appreciated!! (And no, husband isn't advanced enough to ride him at anything more than a walk, and would probably become unseated if he skittered to the side in a spook...) I am going to ask the barn owner if she will ride him (I'm the only boarder :)...but not sure if she would...
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post #2 of 20 Old 01-09-2013, 01:02 PM
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How about a free lease? That way, you retain ownership while someone else gets to ride him until you're ready to get back in the saddle.

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post #3 of 20 Old 01-09-2013, 01:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Speed Racer View Post
How about a free lease? That way, you retain ownership while someone else gets to ride him until you're ready to get back in the saddle.

This is probably your best bet. Just make sure you have all the proper paperwork and everything spelled out so there is no confusion down the road.

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post #4 of 20 Old 01-09-2013, 01:13 PM
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^ Yes. I have a friend with a lovely OTTB mare who is still a bit green (5 years old, one year off the track) but working towards becoming a great HUS horse but she got pregnant and can't finish the mare's training or devote enough time to her, and riding a fairly hot mare like that is out of the question for my friend.

So she is free leasing the mare to a lovely college age girl who grew up around HUS horses and has competed quite a bit, but can't afford a horse while in school. The horse still stays at my friend's property so that she can make sure things are going the way she wants them to, and the girl is required to be actively taking lessons with the mare to free lease her, and its working out great. The girl is advanced enough to put some miles on the mare and the mare is advanced enough for the girl to improve on and do some competing. The lease will end two years from now when my friend's baby is a year old, but the lease can be revoked at any time if the girl is in any way abusing the animal.

Something like that would likely work for you. There are tons of young riders who want to do something like that, and you have the option of on-site or off-site lease, them paying for horse's feed/farrier etc or you doing it.

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post #5 of 20 Old 01-09-2013, 02:35 PM
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My husband used to have 'sell the horse fits' until he finally, irrevocably came to understand that I would sell him first. If you love the horse that much, find someone who can ride him for you, though I would ride til I wasn't comfortable anymore and THEN have someone take over, and keep the horse. You can buy hubby a horse when he's ready to commit to learning to ride but I would NOT sell a horse I loved and enjoyed just because hubby is afraid.

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post #6 of 20 Old 01-09-2013, 05:59 PM
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with the knowledge that we would get another horse in the near future

Somehow there are always reasons why it won't happen. Perhaps suggest he get rid of whatever he enjoys doing because he'll be too busy helping you with the baby. Men seem to feel their stuff is important but what woman have/want is frivolous. One fellow was protesting loudly about his wife's horse which was a t home along with a nice barn. His business sometimes kept him away so I asked him if he'd rather wifey go to the bar or the barn. He ordered some nice stalls.
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post #7 of 20 Old 01-09-2013, 06:57 PM
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NO SELLING YOUR HORSE!!!!!!!!!!

Free lease. Draft up a good ad explaining everything you can about your horse and post it on every horse site. Find the right person for your horse, so they can work together.

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post #8 of 20 Old 01-09-2013, 09:45 PM
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Bah, hubbys are common. Let him know he can be replaced before the horse could. ;)

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post #9 of 20 Old 01-09-2013, 09:50 PM
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Do NOT sell your horse if you love him that much. I did once because my husband thought he was too much for me, and now I am scouring the internets daily to findout what happened to him and where he may be. I made a HUGE mistake and now there is a good chance that he was sold to Mexico meat market. True story. My husband is now very sorry that he "presuaded" me to sell Atticus, but it's too little too late. Do NOT sell that horse if you love him. You will wonder about him for ever.
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post #10 of 20 Old 01-10-2013, 12:34 PM
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Probably not what you want to hear, but I'd say to a husband a VERY firm "NO". My MIL tried to stop me from riding when I became preggo (my mom was smart enough not to even mention it), and I just said it's my decision, not someone's else.

My paint is spooky, my qh has cranky days, I rode both through 1st trimester, and not sure if they understand or not but both were very gentle with me (even though it was the worst time of the year to ride: Jan - Mar). When I developed a bad motion sickness (so I had to get off the horse to vomit) I stopped riding and asked a (recommended to me and reasonably priced) experienced rider to exercise both. I was still cleaning (including picking feet) and saddling them both several times a week till my due date. It worked out well for all of us.

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