This is going to be a very long and difficult post so thank you to those who stick with me through it and I totally understand if you don't. My son is now four years old he just turned four on the 20th of this month. I got pregnant with him when I was dating a guy back in 2008 after finding out I was pregnant the guy immediately dumped me. Shortly after I met a new guy who is my now husband, he has been a terrific father to my son and is even on his birth certificate. The paternal father has never made any attempt to contact me or my son has never been a part of his life and most of his family remains the same.
However my exes mother is now dating my uncle therefore her and her daughter are at all of our family gatherings which makes it a little awkward to say the least. I don't usually hear from them at all during the year but on the occasions when I see them she expects to be called grandma and will talk about my son like it is her grandchild which granted blood wise he is.
But when I first found out I was pregnant because her son didn't want to grow up and deal with it she decided that she was more worried about his happiness that the child's she decided to basically throw me out to dry along with the rest of the family. They have never asked for photos of him, they have never posted anything about him being her grandson or my exes son, they don't even have any contact with him outside of family holidays and get-togethers.
I have never pushed him or his family away or made them feel unwelcome around my son I've tried to keep open contact for his sake only and just to make it easier once he gets older. It's still immensely hurts my feelings though when his mom posts on Facebook about her other son who recently had twin daughters being her first grandchildren or mentioning at family get-togethers how excited she is about her first grandchildren like my son doesn't even exist or was just some figment of my imagination.
So now I have two questions.
Question one how do I appropriately handle his mother at these family get-togethers. How can I explain to her in a mature fashion that what she's doing is very hurtful and somewhat inappropriate.
Question to my son is now four years old at what point do I explain this all to him how do I explain it to him and what questions should I be prepared for at that point. This is all common family knowledge through our family and friends we have never really made a secret of it we just have not gone out of our way to tell him about it sent unsure at what age I should tell him.
* passes out cookies donuts cake lemonade and champagne to anyone who made it through that all*
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