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Talker during lessons. Help!

This is a discussion on Talker during lessons. Help! within the Parenting forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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        06-11-2013, 09:47 PM
      #11
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Whisper22    
    I know I need to have more follow through on my threats.

    You are just wasting air if you don't. And worse, she's knows she can do as she pleases?

    Does she have ADD, or ADHD?

    Someone else said a great idea. Have her talk about what she is doing, if posting, then 'up' 'down' etc. It would focus her at least.
    But only if she has ADD or ADHD, if not she should just follow the rules.
         
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        06-12-2013, 12:03 AM
      #12
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by AlexS    
    You are just wasting air if you don't. And worse, she's knows she can do as she pleases?

    Does she have ADD, or ADHD?

    Someone else said a great idea. Have her talk about what she is doing, if posting, then 'up' 'down' etc. It would focus her at least.
    But only if she has ADD or ADHD, if not she should just follow the rules.
    You're absolutely right and no, she doesn't have ADD or ADHD. I think she's a nervous talker. I don't think she's nervous about being on a horse, but about people watching her. I also think it might be a bit of boredom. She wants to do more, but she hasn't mastered the small things yet. I've explained that her talking is actually holding her back and she gets that, but I don't think she thinks about that in the moment. I try not to talk during her lessons, I let her instructor do all the talking. She says stuff to her about her problem, but I'll let her know it's ok to be more aggressive if she needs to be.
         
        06-12-2013, 12:52 AM
      #13
    Green Broke
    If your not going to follow through then don't make the threat. They become meaningless real quick.
         
        06-12-2013, 03:42 AM
      #14
    Banned
    It's hard to be a Mom. I'm not, but I am a foster Mum. When I get a good kid, or a kid who makes a change, I want to fight heaven and earth for then.

    This might be hard to hear, but I come from a good place with it. Your kid has done this before, and because you love them so much, it's ok. Your kid is 8, on the verge of not being ok anymore.

    The expectation is that your kid should listen, then they listen, and you need to make that happen, or you will have a brat on your hands as she ages.

    What you allow now, will be worse as a teen.
    Foxhunter and Farmchic like this.
         
        06-12-2013, 07:52 AM
      #15
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by AlexS    
    It's hard to be a Mom. I'm not, but I am a foster Mum.
    Yes you are a Mom.

    /sorry for the sidetrack, we now return you to your regularly scheduled thread. Thanks for your cooperation
    Fowl Play, tinyliny, AlexS and 4 others like this.
         
        06-12-2013, 08:12 AM
      #16
    Yearling
    My son is a chatter also. His lessons are an hour as well. He instructor tell them what they are going to work on & if they all work on the "lesson" then the last 15 minutes or so are "games". All 3 in his group really consentrate on "work" so they can get to their "games".
         
        06-12-2013, 12:20 PM
      #17
    Yearling
    I get what it means to follow through on my threats, I have 3 kids, plus watch another 3 that aren't mine. I would go insane if all they did was walk all over me.
    In this particular situation, I want to see H ride just as me much as she wants to ride, and she knows that. I keep giving her the benefit of the doubt, as well as her instructor, that she will handle it how she sees fit during the lesson. I see now that I may need to step in and let her instructor know she will not offend me if she needs to be a little harsher with H, but I do want the lessons to be her territory. I can do my part by talking to her at home, or canceling a couple lessons to get my point across.

    Ironically enough, H was actually tested to be placed in a gifted class next year because of her talking. While she does get in trouble quite a bit for talking when she's not supposed to, her teacher said she is always leading these in depth discussions with her class, which led to her being tested. She's a thinker, and much like her dad, needs to know everything.

    I do appreciate the concern, and I completely agree, that's why I came here. I will take the advice and try to be better myself.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by littrella    
    My son is a chatter also. His lessons are an hour as well. He instructor tell them what they are going to work on & if they all work on the "lesson" then the last 15 minutes or so are "games". All 3 in his group really consentrate on "work" so they can get to their "games".
    That's a great idea, I'll mention it to her instructor.
         
        06-14-2013, 02:59 PM
      #18
    Banned
    I guess I see things a bit differently. She is 8 years old and enjoying herself - I see nothing wrong with that. Riding is supposed to be fun, not work, and the dang instructor is getting paid for her time - not for your daughter's progress. IMO we need to stop putting pressure on our children and just let them be kids...
    Wallaby and Foxhunter like this.
         
        06-14-2013, 03:46 PM
      #19
    Super Moderator
    I think that this lies with the instructor not being firm enough.
    I am all for them chatting but if I say "Quiet and listen' they do.

    Another thing, if I was instructing and parent had to lay threats then I would not be at all happy.

    Kid needs to be taken out of the arena and led from another horse for a ride, then she would concentrate more.
    jaydee likes this.
         
        06-14-2013, 05:48 PM
      #20
    Super Moderator
    She should be enjoying herself but at the same time having a riding lesson is no different to having a lesson in school and if she doesn't concentrate she wont learn
    Over talking can be a sign of nerves. She might seem confident but could be a good cover
    Does the trainer do things with her to make the lesson more interesting - going round and round in circles is a bit mind numbing for an 8 year old?
    Maybe weaving in and out of cones and maneuvering around poles laid on the ground would make her concentrate more?
    I had some western lessons this winter (I'm an English rider) and none of the horses were ridden in anything but snaffles - plain or jointed - many were really experienced riders and no one rode in a shanked bit at all.
         

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