They are ganging up on me - VENT - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 8 Old 11-12-2012, 04:57 PM Thread Starter
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They are ganging up on me - VENT

The 3 year old who's been potty trained since early summer, decided Friday that he no longer wants to use the potty OR wear pull-ups, so he just has accidents

The 9 year old is starting to have an eating problem...she doesn't stop. She's 5'0" and 98 pounds. By no stretch of the imagination would I consider her overweight. But she does have...padding (as her Dr. puts it). She's not very physically active so that makes things worse. We try to eat as healthy as possible in our house, so there's not an over abundance of junk food. I usually keep around crackers, pretzels, grahm crackers, and popcorn around. When we can afford it, there's lots of fruits and veggies. The problem is that no matter what, she just doesn't stop eating. She ate an entire watermelon in one sitting this summer!!! (She was home by herself). We've been teaching her about portions, and how to eat healthy, etc. I make sure not to say anything about her gaining any weight from not eating healthy, because I don't want her to get the wrong idea. If she's meant to be a larger person, that's fine, just as long as she is a HEALTHY larger person. This morning I forgot something at home, and had to turn back to get it. I walked in on her eating ice cream out of the container (we rarelly have ice cream in the house since hubby & I can't eat it). It was in the basement freezer and I didn't think she even knew that we had it! She ate almost 1/2 a pint!!!!! I have no idea what else to do with her, I don't want to put her on a diet since she's not technically overweight (just padded), I've been trying to work with her on proper portions, I've even taught her what her body type needs for calories in a day, and I've made darn sure she knows I don't think she's fat, just that she doesn't eat healthy (& by not healthy I mean helping herself to enormous portions).

AND THEN there's the hubby I'll try to explain without writing a long novel (we worked for the same company, but in different divisions). Basically 2 years ago I was having some issues at my job (simply, I was being paid less & promotions were given to less qualified) and wanted to go to HR about it. He essentially said he didn't want me going because it would cost me my job (which it probably would have at some point if I went). Fri, he tells me that he reported his temporary supervisor to HR for harassment. I'm beyond words right now

Why do those three have to gang up on Mom all at once???? Couldn't they have spaced it out a little???

"Just because I don't do things your way, doesn't mean I don't have a clue"
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post #2 of 8 Old 11-12-2012, 05:20 PM
Join Date: Apr 2010
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One thing at a time :)

Let your child go in just pants for a while. Accidents will cause a very uncomfortable feeling and help the potty training issue. Loose pants or loose shorts work best since they don't feel like diapers or pull ups. Set a timer to take him into the bathroom to try every half hour or hour, etc.

Your daughter may be hitting a growth spurt or might have a bad sweet tooth! Leave lots of veggies and fruits around, there's no harm in eating as much of those as she wants. Just keep the snack foods limited or out of the house if you're concerned.

I can't say much about your husband as I don't know the situation regarding him going to HR but I do understand your aggravation. Being a mom and wife it tough. Just take it all a day at a time. :)
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post #3 of 8 Old 11-12-2012, 05:31 PM
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I've never had a toddler so I'll stay out of that one.

You control your daughters options. If she can't or won't control herself with the snacks - stop buying snacks. Why isn't she active in some way? That also is under your control. Uncontrolled eating, weight gain and depression all feed each and off of one another. She needs to be active everyday. Keep buying fruits and veggies and leave only those as a snack. Better she eat a whole watermelon than half a pint of ice cream. Get her into dance or something. Do you have horses? Make her muck stalls. Buy a wii and get her the zumba workout. Whatever it takes/

I think with your husband it's trickier. Other people getting raises and promotions certainly does affect you but it's easier to ignore that than a direct harassment. I'm not defending him but he might be like my husband - the don't rock the boat if you don have to type.
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Last edited by DancingArabian; 11-12-2012 at 05:33 PM.
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post #4 of 8 Old 11-12-2012, 05:51 PM
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Hmmm....well Hubby, men always do that stuff...say one thing, do another, they forget we women have infinite memories!

Toddler, peeing in his pants.....let him pee his pants, he will get uncomfortable and decide the potty is the best place to go......

NOW....dear daughter.....speaking from experience, be very very very careful, even though she is nine, she could be binging and possibly purging....bulimia.....I have had experience with this first hand, and young girls are now being exposed to all these things more and more through the web. I used to sit and binge just like her, whole of EVERYTHING.....then go purge it all up......would do it about twice a week, was very young....and I just stopped and started running and swimming instead and eating decent portions.....but that was because I realized how bad it was.....that was 20 years ago......

Best of luck.......
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post #5 of 8 Old 11-13-2012, 09:32 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks guys. Daughter & I had a little discussion last night. I explained to her why I was concerned (I want her to stay healthy, learn good eating habits, etc.). I told that right now it's going to be hard to have the proper portion size because her tummy is used to larger portions, so she's going to feel hungry even though she's had enough. But that soon, her tummy will get used to it and be full when she has the right portions, so she just needs to be patient and I'll help her out & be there for her. As far as eating as much fruits and veggies as she wants, I first want her to be able to see/feel proper portions as being enough.

When I say she's not that physically active, what i meant was she's not into sports (I should've phrased all that better). Because she grew tall so fast, her motor skills didn't have time to develop, so that's something we've been working on. We're slowly building up stamina, but she gets frusterated easily with herself which turns her off to the whole thing.

I hope she's not going thru another growth spurt, lol. She's already wearing some of my clothes!!

Muppet, I understand where you are coming from. I've struggled with the whole body image as well, I've always been tall, on the skinny side, but muscular (if that makes sense). Since the kids, not so much. I'm still technically on the skinny side, but now have "leftovers" so that drives me up the wall. Since I know J has eating issues, I try 110% not to say anything in front of her about my weight because, it's an issue I have with myself & I don't want her to think I feel the same way about her.

"Just because I don't do things your way, doesn't mean I don't have a clue"
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post #6 of 8 Old 11-13-2012, 07:11 PM
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Sounds like you are doing the right things.....yes body image is a real pain in the butt! I'm short and stocky, so I don't fit into the 'ideal' BMI range at all.....apparently I'm 'supposed' to weigh between 100-110 lbs.......BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! never going to happen unless I get terminally ill!
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post #7 of 8 Old 11-15-2012, 03:37 PM
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I agree with the let them wet in their pants...get rubber pants if you want but it usually only takes 3-4 days once you pull them out of diapers and pullups.

Daughter doesn't even sound chubby. My 16 year old is 92 lbs and not much over 5' I think 5'1" and she is thin. My almost 10 year old granddaughter is shorter than my daughter, weighs 85lbs I think and she looks thin to me too.
Teach good nutrition and don't fret :)

Can't help with husband but I never feel like you can't talk to HR about promotions so that you know how to better prepare yourself for the next one :)

I know my daughter is leggy but she is a skinny little thing and I can't believe your daughter could be viewed as being even pudgy...

Last edited by WickedNag; 11-15-2012 at 03:41 PM.
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post #8 of 8 Old 11-15-2012, 08:20 PM
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From the time my son was two he'd have growth spurts and during this time he ate us out of house and home. Then suddenly he'd stop and I'd make sure he wasn't coming down with anything. He'd eat normal amounts for his age until the next growth spurt. Trying to keep him in clothes that fit was a whole other issue. My niece starting growing rapidly around 6 mos. Her parents couldn't get food in to her fast enough. And it was like this for years. She's tall and slim and can still out eat anyone.
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