Well..there's no one for me to tell except you guys online, but I need somewhere to vent and be given opinions.
I was wrong and regretted the decision immediately, first off. I was "convinced" into it with a schoolmate who I find attractive..but is also married. I'm an emotionally broken person, and I've been trying to fix that, but people don't help that.
So basically..I think I'm pregnant. I'm going for a test at the gyn in an hour..
Anywho, I can't have a baby!
I can't afford one.
Half of my family will disown me.
My mother will kill me.
My whole career will get pushed back another year, which I can't mentally deal with. A pregnant woman cannot do concrete and construction work. I cannot mentally deal with traffic control for another year..I'll end up in a psych ward.
I would not be a good mother. I'd treat the poor thing like a dog or horse and probably have CYS called on me.
I can barely take care of myself. I screwed up. I'm already miserable as is, I don't even know what I'll do if I'm pregnant. Alahna's the only thing that has kept me from giving up this past year.
I just wanted to vent about it..it never should've happened and I'm kicking myself over the fact that I have in and let someone persuade me to do something I KNOW is wrong.
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