When a child has problems at school - Page 2

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When a child has problems at school

This is a discussion on When a child has problems at school within the Parenting forums, part of the Life Beyond Horses category

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    05-02-2013, 10:24 PM
He didn't qualify for an IEP, but they are supposedly looking at ways to help him. I know he will have trouble with time management until he learns a coping skill for it, and I know that from experience. I would be lost without my planner!

I'm glad your son has you. Some people think these kids should just have to learn to pick up the same skills at the same pace as everyone else. It irritates me. My son, and your son, and many more like them, are individuals. They do what they can, when they can. I get so irritated when someone expects something from my kid that he cannot do.
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    05-02-2013, 11:00 PM
Super Moderator
I'm sorry you are having a rough time. After reading these posts, I have to brag about my public school.. And agree with Tiny regarding the IEP. My son has dyslexia, turrets, and ADD. He's really struggled with his school work but my school has been really proactive since the beginning. He's in an IEP and has really flourished over the last couple years.

I do have him going to a tutor which is really expensive and I allow emphasis in sports because he needs something that he's good at. It's not fair to have him struggling all the time. He has a pretty decent self esteem but a big part of that is with our school because they honestly have a zero tolerance for bullying. Of course, the teachers are great and I think for the most part... so are the kids........
    05-02-2013, 11:42 PM
Green Broke
I'm glad you wrote this. It's another story on why bullying doesn't "help a kid grow a back bone", which seems to be the typical attitude around here.

It's funny, my cousin has a similar story!

I was saying since he was a very young that he has a learning/cognitive delay. My family kept shutting me down saying, "He's so smart!". He is smart in the logical sense, but heaven's forbid you should get the blue flower on the cake. He had to have the blue anything. He also had very delayed motor skills, and still does but I think its more because of my aunt's laziness with reinforcing we MUST eat with a knife and fork.

Well a year ago, 4th grade, when he's grades were dropping, particularly in english. He couldn't read, write or spell so he was doing poorly in science and social studies too. Math was the only thing he was good at. They finally had a meeting with my Aunt and they brought up testing him for disabilities. Turns out he has an ocular tracking problem (he cannot track a bouncing ball with his eyes) and most likely a touch of ADD. There's a few other things too, can't remember.

On top of that he was being bullied horribly. He is awkward, was still into thomas the tank and pokemon (there are a LOT of asians in his school, so it might not be that odd), short and stocky/heavy set. He is like the perfect target. Just like your son, to the point where he had mentioned wanting to end his life.

What leaps and bounds this kid has made with vision correction, OT, and resource room. He is VERY techie so he is allowed to use a laptop or his tablet to write his papers in school. He's tests are all read to him and written for him, for now. He is REALLY thriving. The bully situation is getting better because he has started band and is flourishing so much they gave him a solo. My aunt said the teacher said they never have given a first year student a solo ever. He is so motivated to learn music he teaches himself, then teaches his class mates, who now like him because he is good at something.

It's so important to stand up for your kids! It wasn't until my Aunt "wanted answers" did anyone do anything. Testing and extra services cost more money, and a lot of schools are reluctant to put it out. Sad, but true.
    05-02-2013, 11:48 PM
Green Broke
Ask for an advocate. Families helping families takes care of that here
I'm lucky, my ADD (also borderline autism spectrum) child is qualified Gifted, so he ha a primary exceptionality of that to get an IEP. He also visits the school therapist when needed.
You are on te right track , just keep fighting!
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    05-02-2013, 11:52 PM
I'm glad to hear he's doing better!

The ocular tracking problem is common in kids with ADHD, as is social awkwardness. Thankfully, DS doesn't have the reading problems: I have to take away books at bedtime, LOL. When he gets interested in something, it takes superhuman effort to pull him out of it.

ETA: Thanks, cakemom. The drive to the therapist gets old (he's an hour away), but so worth it!
    05-03-2013, 12:46 AM
Glad that your son is doing so much better now.

I've had to fight my school a few times, with the foster kids, and it's now a lot easier as they know I don't back down. It's hard sometimes as we are raised to be polite and treat people a certain way, but sometimes you need to be rude and pushy.

I tend to fight the school with the law, and my rights, as they can't dispute those. Is there an education advocate in your state?

I found this for Kansas, maybe they can advise you if the school doesn't continue to help?

Education Justice | Kansas

Maybe this can help too?

My Child has a Medical Diagnosis why doesn
    05-03-2013, 12:47 AM
Thank you so much, Alex! I will look into those.
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    05-03-2013, 01:05 AM
Green Broke
Oh, the "we don't have openings" or failure to return phone calls doesn't work with me. My daughters teacher tried to blow me off and quickly found out that I am very willing to drive down to the school and sit outside the principals office until she met with me.

Principal attempted to blow me off so off to the District Office I went where they didn't want me camping in their office either and quickly escorted me in to see the District Supervisor who about blew a gasket when he found out that my child's teacher flat out told me that my child was average, would never be more than average and it was a waste of time/resources to try and help her do better.

Nobody blows my kid off any more. I personally chose the teacher I wanted for her this year and she's the top student in her class. Yes, the TOP student.... not average!

Squeaky Wheel gets the grease!!
AlexS likes this.
    05-03-2013, 03:11 AM
Totally Delf, you have to be a PITA at first. Once they learn that you are not someone to be messed with, it all becomes easier.
    05-03-2013, 12:16 PM
Super Moderator
Originally Posted by SlideStop    
It's so important to stand up for your kids! It wasn't until my Aunt "wanted answers" did anyone do anything. Testing and extra services cost more money, and a lot of schools are reluctant to put it out. Sad, but true.
I am very happy to have my school then because they have been so easy to deal with. As for the extra cost, there are funds available to the schools if they have a child in their program that truly qualifies.

If they do the test and the child isn't within the range of needing the assistance then you have to find another route.

As Alex pointed out, the medical justification is actually the easiest one to get but if you need one through a learning disability, there needs to be one. Did they explain WHY he didn't qualify for the IEP? Did they do the testing? I know each state is different but I would assume the testing is similar.

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