Originally Posted by BurningAmber520
I think silver has destroyed my confidence even more (If that's even possible)
I have no confidence when it comes to riding, I've spend 8 years on my arabian with him I have all the confidence in the world and he try's to buck me off when ever he doesn't want to do something. I got my new horse a year ago and after having a little back yard arab all that time moving to a fancy warmblood was hard. He was pushy didn't care if he hurt anyone I've been run over by him so many times. When you used to try and get on him he would take off and I would have to hand on to his side and try not to fall. Then once I was on he would spook and spin at everything. I decided to sell him last winter and I was devastated I felt like I failed. When I decided to sell him he went lame so I couldn't sell him until he got better. I began riding my trainer's horses at the farm and one little mare gave me confidence, (Which is strange cause she would take off with me all the time and my trainer always took my stirrups and still made me jump all the time, but no matter how many times that mare took off and acted like a crazy jumper I was never afraid of her.) When Gershwin got better I began riding him (Fearing for my life the whole time.) to leg him up to sell. I stared out little, just walking, then just trotting a little I would join the beginner lessons that were only walk trot. Then one day I was in the outdoor and a bunch of kids came in with their pony's they were practicing for a game show and asked me if I wanted to join. I used to love games with my arab so I decided why not. That was the best hour I had with him I let go of my fears and didn't fight him instead we just had fun and for the first time I rode him with no fear. From that moment on I felt myself relax and while we still have our ups and downs I don't want to sell him anymore. Even recently I went back home and rode a lesson horse at my friend's barn and I realized just how much I love riding Gershwin now. I'm not saying I'm fearless at all I'm so scared when we are jumping, (We are doing 2'9) but now there are small moments where I can actually think he will take care of me. It's been a long rode, but the meaning of this post is just to say even if you are scared it's worth sticking with. Lots of people at my barn tell me to stop judging myself that I should have more confidence that I can do it so just know if you put your mind to it you can.