Getting SO frustrated with feeling judged...
   

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Getting SO frustrated with feeling judged...

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        08-25-2013, 12:32 PM
      #1
    Yearling
    Getting SO frustrated with feeling judged...

    So...this is a vent and I really hope I don't annoy anyone.

    This time last year I was 115 pounds. Granted, I had an eating disorder, and did for 6 years, but still.
    I just weighed myself(I try to stay away from scales because it's sort of triggering)

    168.....I'm 5'4. Not tall by any means.

    I don't understand how I can gain that much weight in only a year...I guess I do have a problem with over eating, mainly when I get bored or upset with myself- but I just find it extremely disheartening. I know I'm not healthy at this weight and it upsets me to no end how much I weigh, when looking around, most people in my discipline are 120-130, maybe 140 at most. I feel so out of place at the barn, dare I say it, judged while I ride.
    The only saving grace I have is my boyfriend, who supports me and loves me no matter what weight I am, he actually prefers me at a higher weight, as opposed to when I was thin.



    Can someone give me some sort of guidance towards a diet I can follow? I've researched a few, but I don't want to have to buy any books or pay for someones advice etc etc.
    I don't exercise enough, I'm sure. Saturday and Sunday is when I get the most, I work at a barn mucking, laying shavings, feeding, turning out etc from 6-9 AM then again from 4-5:30 both days. Then I leave and do it again where I board for my two geldings(that is every day and night though, I'm self care)

    I have no problem what-so-ever staying away from sweets, I rarely eat things of that nature. My problem is actual food, especially carbs.
    Pleaasee give me some ideas for diets and exercise routines...
    What has worked for you?
         
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        08-25-2013, 12:42 PM
      #2
    Banned
    Don't feel judged at the barn, there are some bigger girls at my barn and they can REALLY REALLY ride very well and they are eventing and jumping. I'm 20lbs over, could probably lose 30 to be 'healthy' and it does bug me and I do try to at least not gain anymore. What I find good is to start developing habits, they say if you do something for 21 days straight that you can develop a habit.

    So lets think about what you're already doing, chores at the barn, good! Now start thinking about doing them faster. What I used to do was run not walk, lift more, push more. Actively think MORE.

    Once my kids (little darlings) go back to school I will be running in the mornings again.....not looking forward to it, but going to try!

    Carbs are my nemesis also, not the sweets necessarily, but the breads and cereals. Try adding more protein in your diet, like egg whites, to make you feel fuller.

    Good luck!
         
        08-25-2013, 12:45 PM
      #3
    Weanling
    Count calories, count calories, count calories!!! Can't stress that enough. If you are taking in less calories than your body needs to sustain it's current weight, you will lose weight. It's simple. These low carb diets and such are a bunch of crap in my book. If you want to loose it right, count your calories. I've lost 50 lbs using My Fitness Pal . Com. It tells you based on your height/weight/activity level how many calories you should be eating a day. As you lose weight it will lower your allotted caloric intake for the day.
    xlionesss likes this.
         
        08-25-2013, 12:47 PM
      #4
    Yearling
    I do it as fast as I possibly can! I do 10 or 11 stalls, but have to do shavings everyday. We clean each water bucket daily, so that's 20 buckets I lift full of water, too. Of course when I get off work, all I want to do it sleep so I consider Saturdays and Sundays my work-out days LOL

    Its not even a problem with me being full or not, unless I'm bursting at the seams and bored, I'll most likely eat. I'm not a chocolate fan or anything, I just really enjoy actual food.

    I think I may start going for walks around my neighborhood.
    Our neighborhood isn't populated heavily, but I'm extremely self-concious, so I'm terrified of running in public. It's scary for me to even walk because I feel like people are staring outside their windows at me and laughing....
    Not to mention my habit of fast food.... :'(



    ETA: I've heard about myfitness pal..maybe I should try it.
    Thanks!
         
        08-25-2013, 12:51 PM
      #5
    Yearling
    Ugh. I feel the same way. I'm 5'9, 180 lbs and every time I go to a show I swear everyone is like 5'7, and 120 lbs MAX. It makes me feel like a whale even though I'm not super overweight. It doesn't help that I have a large butt and thighs.

    I'm subbing so I can get some ideas too!
    Posted via Mobile Device
         
        08-25-2013, 12:53 PM
      #6
    Green Broke
    Diets are not universal. A diet/exercise that works for one person may not work for someone else.

    How you carry your weight also plays a part - don't look at the scale so much but look at how you feel and how your clothes fit.

    Definitely start with adding in exercise - at least 30 min per day, ideally an hour. I'm not talking about mucking stalls or anything either. While those activities can burn calories, they're not reliable. Find something that you enjoy doing, otherwise you won't stick with it. Dance, hike, bike, run - all great things! I lift weights once or twice a week, go to Zumba about 5 times a week, dance once a week, and ride like 6 times a week.

    If you get bored, DO SOMETHING. Get your bike out, ride your horse, hike with your horse in hand, go for a run, do an exercise tape. Whatever. Just move!
    Posted via Mobile Device
         
        08-25-2013, 12:53 PM
      #7
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by GamingGrrl    
    Ugh. I feel the same way. I'm 5'9, 180 lbs and every time I go to a show I swear everyone is like 5'7, and 120 lbs MAX. It makes me feel like a whale even though I'm not super overweight. It doesn't help that I have a large butt and thighs.

    I'm subbing so I can get some ideas too!
    Posted via Mobile Device

    My problem, right here. They're not TERRIBLE, and I'm decently proportioned, but my thighs and hips are large.
    I wear a small/medium shirt but a size 13 pants....
         
        08-25-2013, 12:55 PM
      #8
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by DancingArabian    
    Diets are not universal. A diet/exercise that works for one person may not work for someone else.

    How you carry your weight also plays a part - don't look at the scale so much but look at how you feel and how your clothes fit.

    Definitely start with adding in exercise - at least 30 min per day, ideally an hour. I'm not talking about mucking stalls or anything either. While those activities can burn calories, they're not reliable. Find something that you enjoy doing, otherwise you won't stick with it. Dance, hike, bike, run - all great things! I lift weights once or twice a week, go to Zumba about 5 times a week, dance once a week, and ride like 6 times a week.

    If you get bored, DO SOMETHING. Get your bike out, ride your horse, hike with your horse in hand, go for a run, do an exercise tape. Whatever. Just move!
    Posted via Mobile Device
    Restricting caloric intake IS universal lol. It's basic knowledge. Eat less calories than your body needs to sustain its current weight and you lose.
         
        08-25-2013, 12:57 PM
      #9
    Trained
    MyFitnessPal.com. It tracks your calorie intake and your excercise. You put in your goal weight and how much you weigh now and it calculates what your caloric intake should be to attain your goal weight in a reasonable amount of time. I love it because I am awful about diets.

    I gained 80lbs between September and mid-October of last year. My eating habits didn't change (in fact, if anything, they got better) and my activity level didn't change. I went from about 170lbs (but a solid, 170lbs) to 250lbs (I'm 5'7"). Finally, in March, I was able to go to my doctor to figure out what was going on. After running a battery of tests, the best they could come up with was that I am borderline diabetic (or pre-diabetic) and had gallstones. So, she prescribed Metformin and said it would help me lose weight. I lost about ten lbs in three months.

    Recently, I decided to give myself a year to get back to my high school weight (155lbs). I've been using MyFitnessPal.com (they have an app that is super easy to use) and it makes me very conscious of what I'm eating and how active I am. We don't eat out hardly at all anymore (maybe once every two weeks) and when we go shopping, I make sure to not buy anything that isn't healthy (no potato chips, cookies, candy, etc). We also have started walking every day. When my boyfriend and I can go together, we take both our dogs. When it's just me, I alternate which dog I take. As soon as I get a job (was fired from my last job literally for no reason at the en of July), I'm also going to start working with Aires more and work toward getting him ready to show WP next summer. I'm also going to see if my BO will let me help her muck stalls on my days off (my barn is all full-care, so the BO cleans all the stalls and does all the waters). I would love to do Zumba (it looks like so much fun!), but I can't afford classes and I'm extremely self-conscious. I don't care about when I'm walking or riding, but the thought of jumping/dancing around and all my flub bouncing around seriously makes me want to vomit. I'm a size 22W pant and a 1X/2X in shirts (also a size 42G/H in a bra).
    Posted via Mobile Device
    Clava, xlionesss and AnodyneSeaxx like this.
         
        08-25-2013, 12:57 PM
      #10
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by xlionesss    
    unless I'm bursting at the seams and bored, I'll most likely eat.
    That's your answer. Find something to keep you busy. Also, eat whatever you want, BUT... Before you eat that *whatever you want*, gorge yourself on a healthy salad (beware evil dressings) and tons of water, then when you don't want to eat anymore, allow yourself the *whatever you want*. Make eating the good stuff hard :)
    Posted via Mobile Device
    xlionesss and AnodyneSeaxx like this.
         

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