I think the Universe is trying to tell me something...

Everything happens for a reason right? With everything that's happened with Silver (read this if you don't know what I'm referring to 48 hours in... Fall off the new horse!! ) and all of the bad look I've had looking at other horses, I'm beginning to think that the universe is trying to tell me to KEEP AMBER and try working through all of my issues. I know it will mean just going back to the beginning with her and just walking and trotting for quite a while but maybe she's just meant to be mine, idk!!

I watched her do a lesson today with this very nice man who likes her a lot, man did he have her cruising, cantering around and around and jumping xrails at the canter, he had her pumped up, she was swapping her leads (Which I've never seen her do) and being so so so awesome, I'd love to be able to ride her like that one day. I got on her for about 15 minutes after his lesson on her/

Some pictures from today. I had a near panic attack riding her today, there were so many horses in the arena (and that has never ever bothered me before) and I just freaked out, but got through it and even managed to trot a bit!! It's going to be a long long road but idk maybe we can do it!

Hmmm I think the universe is talking to you too! I read your other thread....yeah that really sucks! Why do you think you get so nervous and anxious? I am getting the impression so far that this anxiety holds you back quite a bit. Maybe I missed another thread or something.....

Granted, I don't know the whole history between you and Amber to make you so anxious while riding her, but the way it sounds like to me is that she is a very nice, well trained horse that simply requires the rider to ride properly for her to respond properly.

IMHO, that is a perfect type of horse for an intermediate rider because they can teach you how to ride properly.

You two look adorable together BTW.

I don't necessarily believe in the "the universe is trying to tell me something" stuff, but from an outsider it appears that human nature is taken into play here. With all the bad experiences you have had with Silver, of course Amber seems perfect right now. And anything that may have frightened you/ made you anxious normally with Amber, pale in comparison with what you have been through with Silver. Plus it doesn't hurt that some guy showed you that Amber is a really great horse and not some scary monster.

Is it possible that there is a dead-broke school master at the place you ride? Perhaps when you feel more anxious you could ride them to get your confidence back. Then get on Amber with your new confidence. Its not fair to her, because it seems (from all your previous threads) that when you ride a horse that doesn't make you nervous that you want to sell Amber and buy the new horse. *Of course this may not be the case* I think if you just got up your confidence, then you could ride Amber with confidence and stop feeling AS nervous/anxious. Hell if it helps, give her a new name and pretend she's a new horse... start a new leaf with her. Don't expect her to do anything in the past that she may have done. They can sense that after all.

I think you two look great together =] I think the universe is trying to tell you something as well, and I really don't think it would be a bad idea to keep her. From what you've said, I see so much potential in her and you, and I see you learning SO much from her. Sometimes it takes a horse who scares you and makes you nervous, to fix that anxiety. You just have to be confident in yourself as a rider, and she can feel that confidence the same way she feels your nervousness. I had some bad experiences with a naughty pony when I was still a crosspoles kid (I'm 22 now) that made me terrified of riding ponies. A couple years ago, my trainer had a 12.1 Welsh pony that she wouldn't let anyone ride because she was so bad: bucking, bolting, spooking, refusing jumps, etc, but she wanted me to work her because she thought I could handle her. I rode her on the flat about 4-5 days a week, and jumped her once in a week in lessons. I was TERRIFIED of jumping her for months, I would almost have panic attacks when it came time for us to jump our course. There were times that I did fall off, but it was always on the flat when she would spook at something. She did refuse jumps, but when we came at it again I'd growl at her and close my legs and get her over it. It got to the point where she would jump anything for me; jumps she normally spooked at, she didn't even take a second glance at. As the BO put it "You and Rascal have an understanding". And I got over my fear by subjecting myself to it, and making myself work through it because in the end everything worked out just fine.
I know it's hard for you right now, but if you can work through your fears of riding Amber you will be a much better rider. You'll learn things that you normally can't learn on a horse that is more push button easy. You'll be able to ride her one day like the man that did the lesson on her. I believe in the both of you =] And if you already have her now, why not try and make it work?